《Rebuilding (COMPLETE)》*Episode 24 (5)
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Everyone on Chopper Base was happy to see the Rogue again. They weren't expecting anything in particular, but Agent Skywalker's presence was rather calming. Maybe it had something to with the Force, or maybe it was just his personality. At any rate, the rebels weren't complaining, least of all the Ghost crew.
Hera and Zeb ran across him first. They were walking out of a storage unit right as Anakin and Artoo were headed that way. "Was wondering when you were gonna come back!" Zeb called, waving to get his attention.
Anakin smiled when he saw them. Artoo continued on his way, probably to find Chopper and annoy him, but Anakin stopped to talk with them. "Good to see you again. Did I miss anything?"
"Not much," Hera updated him, "except Ezra found another crystal while you were gone. He made a new lightsaber, and I think Sabine is helping him test it out right now."
"That's good news," Anakin affirmed, crossing his arms. "How's he doing?"
"Better, but... not the same," she told him, propping her hands on her hips. "He's not talking very much about it, but at least he's not shut up in his cabin all the time."
"Heh, yeah," Zeb agreed, scratching the back of his head. "He's actually been doin' real good on missions. It's Kanan that I'm worried about."
That didn't sound good. Well, the Ezra part sounded good, but not the Kanan part. "Is his scar getting irritated?"
Hera shook her head, sighing. "He's fine, as far as the eye can see."
"Our eyes, not his."
"It's getting to him," she explained, ignoring Zeb's joke. "I was hoping he would be back on his feet by now, but even I've barely seen him since you left. Maybe you should talk to him."
This is what Anakin had been afraid of. Ezra seemed to be doing okay, at least for now, but Kanan was struggling, and Anakin was about to leave. "I'll be sure to find him, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to stick around for long."
Hera thought she understood. "Well, you're always jumping around, trying to cover the bases."
"No, it's not just that. Rebel command has a new mission for me, one that I'm not allowed to talk about but will last a long time. This is my last stop before I start."
"Oh, great," Zeb grumbled. "Perfect timing."
"I know. I'm a little frustrated too," Anakin assured him, sighing. "But I've got to make the most of this visit while I can."
Hera pointed away from the command center, close to the spider fence. "The kids are out that way, and Kanan's in the Ghost. Good luck."
"Thanks, Captain," he told her, and he slapped Zeb lightly on the back before walking off to find the teenagers first.
He didn't have to look for long. As he approached, Anakin heard the sound of a blaster being fired and the lightsaber deflecting the shots. Good, he's taking the initiative to practice, he thought. It would probably be better if Kanan were out here with him, but I'll take it.
Once he was at the edge of the building, he leaned up against the wall and watched them train for a minute. Ezra was drilled in, focusing in a way that Anakin didn't remember seeing before. He seemed more... disciplined. Urgent, in a way. Not quite desperate, but starting to head in that direction. Maybe he feels pressured to step in for Kanan. Zeb said he had been doing well during missions.
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Ezra completed a sequence, and Anakin piped up. "Looking good," he praised, and both Ezra and Sabine turned to look at him. "How's the new lightsaber?"
He smiled at the compliment, and Sabine holstered her blasters for the time being. Ezra held out the weapon so Anakin could see for himself. "I went for something a little more traditional."
"No blaster-lightsaber combo this time?"
"No, but I got a new color."
Anakin held the blade in front of him, analyzing it. Just from touching it, he could tell that Ezra felt like his crew was depending on him more. Kanan, what's going on?
He didn't bring it up, though. "One of the common schools of thought in the old Jedi Order was the Jedi Consular. Many of them had green lightsabers as well." Anakin flipped it and held the hilt to Ezra. "How does it feel?"
"A bit more..." he struggled to find the word for a moment. "Professional."
That made sense. If Ezra was conducting himself with more discipline, 'professional' would likely describe his behavior more. A work in process, of course, but less casual than Ezra's training had been thus far.
"You know," Sabine piped up from the side, "he hasn't been able to duel with it yet. Kanan's been... preoccupied."
"So I heard. I ran into Hera and Zeb on my way over here," Anakin explained, his expression dropping. Then he cleared his face and grabbed his own lightsaber. "I suppose one round couldn't hurt, could it?"
Sabine backed up to watch as Ezra stepped into stance and Anakin activated his weapon. At least someone was going to train Ezra now.
Right away, Anakin noticed how tense he was. "Relax your back, Ezra," he advised, demonstrating himself. "There's a difference between being ready and being tight. Tightness uses up energy that you need during the duel."
He nodded and rolled his shoulders back. It was better, but not perfect. Anakin kept this in mind and started easy, using movements from Form I. Ezra countered, and Anakin saw him tense up again. Come on, kid, trust yourself, he wanted to say.
They exchanged basic strokes for a few moments, but when Ezra stepped back to create some space between the two of them, Anakin saw him take a deep breath. He charged at the Jedi Master, lunging and driving his lightsaber toward his opponent.
Anakin sidestepped the attack and pushed Ezra's lightsaber away with his, but he got the message. Time to dial the fight up a bit. If that's what Ezra wanted, he would oblige. Ezra spun around to follow up the attack, but Anakin was right there, blocking the strike. He let Ezra take the offensive, watching Ezra's technique.
Urgent may have been the right word earlier. Since Anakin had seen him last, Ezra had disciplined himself to perfect strokes he had only dabbled in before, yet it hadn't come from curiosity or interest. It came from a perceived need, which Anakin had a feeling came from Kanan's absence. He now fully intended to ask Kanan about it when he saw him, but Anakin decided to focus on Ezra for the moment. If he was going to dial up the training, Anakin would walk in step with him.
The next time Ezra swung his lightsaber, Anakin caught it with his, pushed it away, and pushed Ezra back with the Force. He dug his feet in the dirt to slow himself, but he stayed upright. When Ezra looked up, though, Anakin was attacking him.
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He spun out of the way and parried Anakin's next stroke, but now Ezra was on defense, not offense. Anakin didn't give him a second to breathe, either. He used more complicated strokes, ones that Ezra had seen before but didn't have much experience with. Though he was able to prevent Anakin from landing a hit, he didn't quite keep up. Ezra stumbled backward, his lightsaber falling from his grip.
Anakin held his blade to Ezra's chest, and that's when he saw it. He wasn't afraid; Ezra knew Anakin wouldn't hurt him. No, the look on his face was one of disappointment. Shame.
Normally, after beating someone in a duel, Anakin would pull them up, but this time he sat down next to Ezra. He glanced over at Sabine, who realized the Jedi were going to talk and left them to it. Ezra sat up, not speaking and with the same look on his face.
Just like earlier, he didn't initiate the conversation. He waited for Ezra to say something. It didn't take long this time. "I know. I need to relax my back."
"You do, but that's not going to do much if you don't relax your mind."
Ezra had a feeling Master Skywalker could see right through him. He didn't bother to question it. "How do I do that?"
He nodded toward the base. "Rely on the people around you. It's not up to you to carry everything that's going on right now."
"It's not like Kanan's going to reach out right now. He needs more time."
"He needs you," Anakin told him. "I don't think he realizes it right now, but he needs you. If he's not going to reach out, then you've got to reach out to him."
"Why..." Ezra hesitated, glancing at the Ghost in the distance. "Why would he need me? I can't do anything."
You don't have to, Anakin wanted to say, but he wasn't sure if that would be sufficient to get his message across. He tried something else. "I think, especially when someone is hurt, they believe that nobody is by their side. It's really easy to feel alone when no one else can feel your pain. It makes you think that, if you try to reach out, no one is going to be there to catch you."
He looked away, but his face finally softened. Some part of what Anakin said resonated with Ezra. "Remember what I said about not underestimating your master?"
"Yeah, I remember. I know he'll figure this out."
"Then remember this too: don't underestimate how much he cares about you." After a moment, he quietly added, "Sometimes, we forget to say it until it's too late. Kanan isn't just your teacher. He's your friend. In some ways, your father."
He hit the pressure point. Ezra nodded and pulled his knees close to his chest, pressing his mouth together. No wonder Ezra was struggling: he didn't want to lose his dad again.
"Hey," Anakin said, holding a hand out. He couldn't replace Kanan, and he would never try to, but he would offer what comfort he could. Ezra took it and squeezed hard, burying his face in his other arm.
Silently, the Jedi Master hoped his younger self would be proud of him. Anakin hoped he was what he needed all those years ago. Sometimes Anakin wanted to go back and meet the kid who came to Coruscant for the first time. Not to change history or teach himself a lesson, just tell that boy everything would be okay and maybe give him a hug. He probably could have used it more often.
He let Ezra take a minute or two, no rush. When he looked up again, his face was a little red and blotchy, but Anakin could sense the release. A millimeter of progress, but better one than none at all. "Thanks."
Anakin smiled, but it quickly turned into a grimace. "Don't thank me yet. I hate to say it, but I came here with news I'm not sure you'll like."
"Did something happen?"
"A lot of things happened, but mainly, I blew my cover," Anakin explained, and Ezra felt steady enough to let go of his hand. "The Empire knows I'm Fulcrum, which means the callsign won't do me much good anymore. Rebel command has given me a new mission, and it looks like it might take a while."
Ezra actually took it a lot better than he expected. Then again, a lot of things were changing these days. What's one more, right? "You'll come back, though, right?"
"Eventually, but I have no idea when. They didn't give me a schedule."
The Padawan laughed just a little. "Do they ever?"
Chuckling, he shook his head. "Good point." After a moment, Anakin spoke his mind. "I know this isn't good timing, which is why I wanted to talk to you. I can probably afford to stall a few weeks if you want me to stay longer. I won't leave unless you're sure that you're going to be alright."
It was clear what Ezra preferred, but he didn't answer right away. "What did Kanan say?"
"I don't know. I haven't asked him yet."
He looked toward the Ghost again, and he thought for another minute before speaking. "Go with what he says. If he thinks you should go, then I'll be fine."
"I'll ask Kanan when I see him. I'm asking you right now."
"If Kanan can get back on his feet, then both of us can help each other, like you said. I'll be okay as long as he is."
He trusts him, Anakin realized, and that's what convinced him. If Ezra trusted Kanan to answer for both of them, that was a definite step in the right direction. He nodded, then stood and held a hand out to pull Ezra up. Ezra took it and pulled his lightsaber back to him with the Force.
"If I do end up leaving, I'll be sure to call when I can," Anakin promised. "No guarantees on when that will be, but I won't leave you hanging completely. Other than that, I'm going to have to go dark."
"Makes sense," Ezra said, shrugging with his usual casual air again. "Especially if the Rebellion has given you a top-secret mission. It sounds kinda fun, actually."
Anakin raised an eyebrow. "Uh, we'll see about that. I'll let you know."
He laughed, and that was enough for Anakin. Ezra was much more relaxed than he had been ten minutes ago.
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