Sapnap was having a good time.

He delivered Clay and George to Techno like the unappreciated guy he was and had some pizza yum yum. Then he heard some guys upstairs were getting high so YOLO he went upstairs.

He met one of Clay's friends coming out of the room. Well, not exactly met, they ran into each other.

"AH fuck sorry."

"Ayyyyyy it's fine." Sapnap stabilized himself by holding onto the guy's arm. "Whas your name agaigain?"

The guy giggled and cupped his face in his hands. "I am Vin but you can call-" he paused to giggle again- "call me a6d."

"Ayyyyyyyysixdeeeeee thas it!

Iam de Sappy Nappy." Sapnap tried to bow but he lost his balance and fell flat on the floor. A6d laughed at him and he stumbled back up.

"So wher you goin sixdee?"

A6d stared at him. After a second he said, "I forgot." Then he burst out laughing.

Sapnap laughed with him cuz that's funny as hell.

"I dunno where I was heading eether. HEY" He pulled the guy to the balcony that looked down on the first floor. "You see this?"

"Nahhh but this is a thing that is cool." A6d pointed down. "Look all the people they look like small." He giggled at Sapnap again.

"Yeah they dooo wow its scary to look down from here."

"Sappy Nappy let us go downstairs." He pulled Sapnap toward the stairs a little.

"OK acd. C"

About 15 minutes later they were in the kitchen eating cheese puffs.

A6d was happily crunching on them when he stopped and waved one in Sapnap's face.

"The orange comes from where?"

"IDK it's just orange like orange cheese thas orange. Where does your orange come from?"

A6d laughed. "I- I do- I don't know," he said between giggles. "Why- why are you a refrigerator?"

Sapnap choked on his cheese puffs laughing. "Das what they call me idk."

"Who?" Nom nom cheese puffs.

Sapnap thought about it. "De mamas."

"What the fuck?" Now Vin was laughing and choking on his cheese puffs. "Who are de mamas?"

"IDK stahp askin me questions lemme eat my cheesay puffssss."

"HEY you can't hog all the cheeses puffs pas juste!" Vin reached over and tried to grab some but Sapnap blocked him.

"MINE!" He proceeded to make pig noises because Vin said hog. "And Im not the pig boi thats TechNO stahp deez mine now no touchy!"

"FINE i get other food then." A6d unhappily got up from the counter and looked around the cabinets, he sat down again with gummy worms.

Sapnap let out a very dramatic gasp. "Oh my god this is my favorite song COME ON!" He grabbed Vin's hand and tugged him out of the kitchen.

"Noooooooo MY EATABLE WORMS!" Vin unsuccessfully tried to snatch a handful of gummies but Sapnap pulled him away too fast.

"NO TIME MUST GO!"

"WHER DA FUCK WE GOING?!"

"DIS WAY OMG SHUT UP!"

Vin just trailed behind Sapnap through rooms until they came to the big party room where the music was loudest; then Vin shouted at him.

"R U ASKING ME TO DANCE?"

"NO WERE DOING SOMETHING MUCH MORE FUN!"

There lived a certain man, in Russia long ago,

He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow,

Sapnap ran, or ran the best he could, over to the couch and shouted at the couples on it. "GET OFF RN!"

They just stared at him. "UGHHHHHH FUCK YOU GUYS" Sapnap whirled around, still holding Vin's hand and pulled him up the stairs as fast as he could go.

They got to the top and Sapnap started climbing over the railing, he stood on the other side and looked at a6d.

"COME ON ITS FUN"

"WHAT IS?"

He could preach the Bible like a preacher

Full of ecstasy and fire

Sapnap offered a6d his hand and Vin hesitantly climbed over to stand with Sapnap on the other side, on the edge. They had to shout over the music.

"HAVE YOU DONE THIS BEFORE?"

"NO!"

But he also was the kind of teacher

Women would desire

Vin looked down at the couch under them, the people who were on it before had gotten off and moved somewhere else. His eyes were scared, but Sapnap's were burning with excitement; Vin seemed up for it.

"RICH PEOPLE HAVE HARD COUCHES!"

"NAH THIS ONES FINE TRUST ME!"

"OK"

"GO!"

They sailed through the air.

RA RA RASPUTIN

LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN

Vin squeezed Sapnap's hand for a second as the couch got closer, but they landed safely on the cushions with a plop.

"HEHEHA YEAHHHH! FUCK YEAH THAT WAS FUN ARE YOU OKAY!"

"HOLY SHIT UR CRAZY!" Vin started laughing, his hair was super wind blown. "THAT WAS CRAZY!"

"YOU WANT TO DO IT AGAIN?"

"HELL YEAH!"

They scrambled off the couch and up the stairs again; it was remarkable how no one dancing noticed the two guys repeatedly jumping off the second floor balcony onto the couch but maybe they're acclimated to that stuff at a Technoblade party, or maybe "Rasputin" is just a bop.

A6d and Sapnap got over the rail a second time.

"YOU WANT TO HOLD MY HAND AGAIN?"

"SURE WHY NOT!"

"OK LETS GO!"

They leapt off again, this time with Sapnap shouting "GERONIMO!" and Vin shouting "ALLONS-Y!"

Sapnap felt the air rush in his ears and Vin squeeze his hand again as they fell. It was exhilarating; like bungee jumping, but not, because they just kept going down.

They landed on the couch and roared with laughter, doubled over about how crazy they were and how dangerous it was, but they still hopped off to do it again.

"WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS?" Vin asked as they rushed up the stairs a third time.

"MLG COUCH!" Sapnap laughed, but then decided to save his breath for climbing.

The third time was even more fun than the first two. Sapnap and a6d yelled at the same time, "WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO OOF!" Followed by wheezing laughter on the couch.

Long after "Rasputin" had ended Sapnap and Vin lay on the couch, their feet on the arms and their heads side by side, staring at the ceiling, tired out by all the running up stairs and jumping off balconies.

The music had calmed down a bit so they could talk without shouting.

A6d was still panting a little. "That was crazy."

Sapnap turned his head to look at him. "But it was fun righhht?"

"Yeah idiot-" Vin smiled- "I wouldn't have done it a hundred times if it wasn't fun."

"HEY baguette, speak French to me."

Vin laughed, "Tu es un idiot, Sappitus Nappitus."

"HEY-"

>>>

George picked up another drink on the way through the kitchen. It was slightly less awkward to stand around sipping a drink than to stand around not doing anything.

Mehhhhhhhhh I should have water but WHATEVER this is easier.

He was kinda dizzy from the beer pong and the music was super loud. He thought about Clay double-high giving him every time he scored one of the little ping pong balls in a cup, which happened less as the game went on. Still, he liked spending time with Clay, too bad that also meant spending time with Techno at that particular moment.

I should check on Skep and Bad, wonder where a6d is also...

George wandered around his familiar path through the house and finally stumbled upon Skeppy and Bad in an empty room.

Bad was crying on the couch and Skeppy was comforting him.

"What's wrong?" George came in and sat down next to Bad. He noticed he was soaked.

Bad just hid his face in his hands, Skeppy was kneeling at his feet and trying to make him feel better.

Skep looked at George. "Someone threw him in the pool, but he won't tell me who."

I can hazard a guess.

"I'm fine." Bad sniffed.

"NO you're not fine! You're soaking wet and cold and you smell like chlorine! Tell me who did it, you idiot so I can go throw them in the pool!"

Bad just shook his head and shivered.

"Fine, don't then." Skeppy got up and said to George, "Stay with him, I'll be right back." Then he left the room.

"Geppy!" But Skep had already gone.

George moved next to Bad and put an arm around him. "It's okay, he'll be right back."

Bad just squirmed away from him a little bit and eyed his arm. "Are you sure you want to do that? You'll get wet. Actually, I'm getting the couch wet, dang it-" he started to stand up but George sat him back down.

"Screw the couch, Bad. Who cares if it's wet. Besides, you're cold. You want me to get you a blanket?"

Bad sniffed. "Yes, please."

George found a blanket behind some chairs and put it on Bad.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Was it Techno? Should I ask? He wouldn't tell Skeppy, but I know what it's like.

Why would he go after Bad anyway?

They sat in silence for a minute. Bad had stopped crying, but he still sniffed every once in a while.

"Was it Techno?" George watched Bad carefully.

He stayed silent and didn't look at George.

"Here." George poured half of his drink into Skeppy's empty cup on the coffee table and handed it to Bad.

Bad just sniffed and then sipped it a little bit.

George figured he better keep trying to talk to him.

"You spent a long time on your costume right?"

Bad nodded and said a soft "yeah."

George looked over it. It was drenched and torn in several places.

"I'm sorry."

Bad shook his head. "It's stupid; I don't want to wear it anymore." He took off the cape and horns.

"Hey, it's not stupid. It looked good; you were proud of it right?"

"No." Bad drew his knees up to his chest and hid his face.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

"It was just a prank," Bad said really quietly; George hardly heard him.

He tried not to roll his eyes. "That's not a prank, Bad. That's- " he stopped himself.

Bullying.

"I'm back." Skeppy re-entered and Bad looked up at the sound of his voice.

George scooted away to give them space and wondered if he should leave. No, probably not. Skeppy told me to stay.

"What do you have?" Bad asked Skeppy, who was holding a little yellow bundle in his hands.

"Bad- I wasn't even going to give you this at all, but, you probably want to change so I guess it's a good thing I threw it in the trunk." Skeppy held out a poorly stitched duckie onesie.

Bad gasped, his eyes sparkling with tears.

"Did you make this?"

"Yeah-" Skeppy handed it to him- "you were spending so much time on mine, so..."

Bad threw his arms around Skeppy and buried his face in his shoulder. "Thank you, Geppy."

Skeppy hugged him back.

Awwww.

Dammit George stop being jealous. That's a rubbish way to feel.

George finished his beer and waited for Skeppy and Bad to stop hugging.

They stopped after a second and Skeppy laughed a little. "It's actually not good, but it's dry anyway."

"I love it." Bad hugged it to his chest.

"Wait- I just realized! We'll be matching!" Bad seemed really happy; Skeppy smiled.

"Yeah, we'll both be little ducks," he said. "Quack quack."

"Quack quack." Bad responded joyfully.

Ight- imma head out

"Wait, are you drinking now?"

"Um, yeah, it made me feel a little better."

"OK in that case let's go get more."

I'm up for that.

"What do you want to do now Bad?"

"Hmmm I want to go somewhere with quiet people."

George smiled and spoke, "I know somewhere we can go."

>>>

Sapnap had an idea.

It was kind of fuzzy but it was an idea.

The plan was this: find Tencho's room, and look for clues or evidence or whatever.

This is a great plan.

It wasn't hard to find Techno's room, but Sapnap got a little lost. He had a big house.

The tie around his head was slipping a little, so Sapnap retied it and then looked around the room.

Pretty clean, there were picture frames on some shelves and the cabinet, there was a huge walk in closet on one side and Sapnap noticed the room smelled kinda like roses.

He walked over to look at the pictures.

Baby Techno. He was kind of cute, you wouldn't think he'd grow up to be so intimidating. There was him with his parents at an amusement park, then he was a toddler on a Christmas card, with a little crown falling over his eyes, there were a few pictures of him as a kid and fewer as a young teen.

Sapnap started going through some drawers and after some searching found a picture of him as a little baby sucking his thumb in a piglet outfit.

Haha this'd be great blackmail.

Sapnap didn't have his phone though, so he just put it back and kept looking.

Here we go-

He found a letter addressed to Dave, it was dated for a year and a half ago. It looked like it had been crumpled up and then smoothed out lots of times.

Dear Dave,

I'm sorry. I know I've hurt you, but I had to do it for reasons I can't tell you. It hurt me too, know that.

I'd do anything for you. Anything-

Sapnap skipped at bit, then just started scanning it for George's name. He was snooping for him, after all.

Fuck-

Footsteps outside and a hand on the door. Sapnap quickly shoved the letter back and slammed the drawer shut.

Fuckfuckfuck-

The door started opening as Sapnap dove under the bed and crawled as far back as possible.

He breathed a little sigh of relief when no one shouted at him, so he wasn't seen.

But now he was stuck.

Two pairs of sneakers shuffled into the room with the sounds of two people passionately making out.

Fuck.

Sapnap held his breath as they moved inside, very occupied with each other.

He prayed they wouldn't get on the bed.

Luckily they moved into the bathroom and shut the door.

I'm outta here, I'm outta here.

Sapnap slid out from under the bed and booked it away from the room.

He wasn't paying any attention to where he was going and hit two dead ends before he found his way back to the party area. He sat down at the top of the stairs and got his breath back. He was very pleased with himself about his clever escape. Techno was definitely not close to catching him since Sapnap could see him and Wilbur and some other guys from his place on the stairs.

Back to the party I guess.

>>>

Clay felt a little tipsy, but he definitely wasn't as hammered as some of the other guys.

"HEY I'M A LAWYER."

"WTF TUBBO?" Tommy was eating pizza with Tubbo and Clay was just kinda hanging out nearby to witness the chaos of that duo.

"I'm a lawyer."

"Ok." Tommy continued to eat his pizza.

Tubbo ate cookies.

A minute later Tommy said, "I feel like committing a crime. How about a heist Tubbo? Shall we do crime?"

"Yeah, let's do it."

Clay raised his eyebrows but they just forgot he was there or assumed he wouldn't do anything.

"I feel like stealing. What about Eret's little elmo puppet?"

"Yeah sure. And we can't get in trouble, you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm a lawyer."

"OK."

"We should have code names, you can call me BIG LAW."

"OK, BIG LAW you can call me Big T."

They very casually walked out of the room. Then about ten seconds later Tommy came running back in clutching the weird Elmo worm Eret had around his shoulders earlier. Eret was right behind him but Tubbo caught his arm and got between them.

"Hey I'm a lawyer. Run."

"What? No, gimme back my Elmo, what are you doing?"

"BIG LAW BIG LAW HELP ME."

Tommy just hid behind Tubbo with the Elmo thing in his arms.

Tubbo rose to the occasion by blocking Eret from getting to Tommy. "Hey HEY I'm a lawyer- IM A LAWYER-"

"Stop it, give it back!" Eret tried to push Tubbo out of the way.

"HEY YOU CANT PUSH A LAWYER ERET!" But apparently he could because Tubbo plopped on the ground and "died." Then reached up and ate some cookies on the floor.

Tommy immediately demanded compensation. "YOU JUST KILLED MY LAWYER!"

Eret threw a handful of cheese puffs at Tommy and Tommy just caught one in his mouth and said, "thanks."

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Listen, Eret," said Tubbo, cross-legged on the floor. "You just committed murder. On A Lawyer. That is very bad for you. Your days on this earth are slim and thin."

"Yeah, you heard the Lawyer, slim and thin." Tommy waved the Elmo around. "And he wouldn't lie, he respects the law."

"You broke one of my antennae," said Tubbo from the floor with his mouth full of cookies. "Nd I hm da law."

Eret had decided to stop listening and snatched for the Elmo in Tommy's hands. This caused British Boi Tommy to flee around the kitchen and Eret to just chase him in circles until Tubbo got up to block his way again.

"Hey ERET listen I'm a lawyer."

"Yeah, a lawyer I know, just let me-"

"NO I'm a lawyer. Trust me, I'm a lawyer. Here you go."

"WHAT-"

Tubbo pushed him out of the kitchen. "YEah I'm a Lawyer."

Then he called after him, "YOU OWE ME A HUNDRED DOLLARS YOU COCK-EYED BASTARD!"

Clay was just sitting on the counter watching all this.

"Big Law that was amazing!" Tommy sprung up from behind the island.

"Yeah I know. I'm a Lawyer." Tubbo put his hands on his hips.

"Why is your voice like that?" Tommy was referring to Tubbo talking in a much deeper voice than usual.

"Because of the money. I'm rich now that I'm a lawyer."

"OK Big Law, what now?"

"Now come here." Tubbo walked over then pushed Tommy into the pantry and closed the door.

"Ok?" Tommy's voice was muffled by the door.

"Now you're in there?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Tubbo placed a hand on the door. "Now you're my bitch."

Clay could hear Tommy laughing his ass off in the closet.

"O- okay." He wheezed out. "Can you let me out?"

"YEAH I'm a lawyer so I can do that." Tubbo opened the door.

"Does your Lawyer side come out when you eat cookies, is that it?" Tommy asked, coming out of the closet.

"Yeah, the cookies are so fucking good. Those are damn good cookies. Dominos cookies." Tubbo ate two more cookies after saying this.

"Now I've eaten like eight cookies."

"OK, but why?"

"Oh you young child, you're so foolish."

"Don't you ever call me a fucking child, Big Law."

"Oh, you have so much to learn-"

"Lay off the cookies Big Law, LAY OFF THE COOKIES."

"I AM THE COOKIES." Tubbo said in the lowest voice possible.

"PFFT HAHHAA-" Tommy dissolved into high pitched laughter.

Tubbo proceeded to eat more cookies. "I've never been more successful than I am right now. I'm a lawyer. Doesn't that just scream success?"

"You better not be doing weed cookies."

"No, no, no, no, those are called brownies, you fool."

Tommy snorted.

Tubbo continued, "I'm a lawyer, I know these things."

"Yeh. OK. Let's go Tubbo. Come on." Tommy left the room followed by Big Law with a few more cookies.

Well that was something.

I don't think they beat Skeppy and Bad for entertainment, but they come close.

Clay was about to get another beer and leave the room, but Sapnap came in unexpectedly.

"Ayyyyyy Clayyyyyyy supp ave u seen Gogy?"

"Uh, no, not recently. U good bro? How's your foot?"