Chan felt empty.

After the 'date' with felix, he felt that he really had gotten to know a lot more about the boy, the attraction Chan had felt wasn't only sexual anymore.

only now, he wouldn't have that chance to see him again, so he would have to remove him from his thoughts. He looked over at the boy peacefully sleeping on his side. Fuck it was going to be hard.

Chan's father had told him yesterday 'be ready in ten minutes', he had obviously forgotten that it was a four hour drive and by then, he and Felix were already out of the campsite, no one knowing where they were except for themselves. When they had gotten back, his father or his guards were no where to be seen.

His father had told him over the phone 'you're damaging my reputation.' Chan scoffed at that. What could he possibly have done to anger him so much while he was away on camp.

He figured that his father would try again to capture him today, so he had set an alarm for 4:45 am and was now stuffing clothes messily into his black duffel bag at 5 am. He packed his essentials, leaving some stuff out as he would have the chance later to buy them at the shops.

He zipped up his bag and sat down at the bottom end of his bed to tie his shoe laces.

But before he could, a certain brown haired boy caught his eye. Chan would miss his cuteness but also how strong he could become about something he cared about. The way he was so kind but only to those who deserved it.

Chan smiled and felt a wet tear slide down his cheek, he leaned towards Felix, observing his features one more time before placing a soft kiss on his forehead. "I'm going to miss you" his voice cracked "baby boy."

Chan quickly did up his laces, wiping his tear messily, swung his bag over his shoulder and walked out of the cabin, not looking back. His tears kept coming. No. He couldn't cry.

His fathers words popped up into his head 'you weak faggot! what did i tell you, GET RID OF THOSE FUCKING TEARS YOU PEICE OF SHIT'

Chan sucked in a breath and held back his tears for as long as he could. He lasted about fifteen seconds.

He just wanted to hug Felix and kiss him and tell him how much he meant to him. But now he was leaving him. How would Felix react? He wouldn't care, would he? No, he wouldn't. Because he had no feelings for the other, right? it hurt his heart to think about, but it was the truth and he would have to accept it.

About thirty five minutes had passed and at this point, Chan's head was in pain because of all the crying. His legs, along with his mind, had become numb a while ago. His thoughts were mute, this was good. Chan didn't want to think about anything at the moment. He wanted quiet.

After walking a little more, tears now stifled, he had found a hotel that didn't look too fancy, but also looked liveable. He was experienced enough in finding average hotels as he hardly stayed home.

he checked in under the name his father always told him to use in public, 'Seo Changbin', found his room, and settled down.

After Jinyoung had found Felix in the library, he had introduced himself as the son of the president.

Felix had automatically given him a look of sympathy for his brother, Felix's childhood friend. But Jinyoung had explained to him that he had barely known him because he had only recently found that he was a son of president bang and started living here and his brother was never home. Of course, he still felt sympathy for his father, but he hadn't really met him before.

They had left the library and because Jinyoung had been informed by the maids that Felix was coming, he knew exactly where his room was.

Jinyoung left and Felix settled into the empty room. It had white walls, a double bed with white sheets, and a walk-in closet with no clothes. He gave a sad smile, this was going to be his room from now on, he would have to get used to it.

— —

It was around 8pm and Felix felt the need to shower. He wanted to refresh himself and clean his mind from all of today's events.

The only problem was that he didn't know where the bathroom was, he didn't have Jinyoung's number to call him and ask either. He actually didn't have anyone's number as his father had gotten rid of his old phone and replaced it with a new one before they got here. It looked like he would have to explore.

He grabbed a pair of neatly folded fluffy pyjamas, along with boxer briefs, from the draws in his closet and picked up a towel, white of course, that was set aside for him from another.

Felix walked down the hallway and turned a corner to spot a door. It didn't look like a bathroom door, was it Jinyoung's? Felix was too scared to knock, in the case of it being not. So he pressed his ear up against it, hoping to hear some activity.

"-what do you mean? No!"

Felix pulled away, oops, not Jinyoung.

He took a step away from the room, but his ears suddenly caught something. He swore he heard his name.

"-the boys father left him here. Of course, yes. I know he's adopted, but still. How can a father figure do that to his son-"

Felix pulled away.

He stumbled so far backward that his back hit the wall behind him. He dropped the contents he was holding and used one hand to cover his mouth.

Adopted...? Felix's dad...wasn't his dad.

Felix's body started to shake. Air. He needed air.

Felix hastily stumbled through the hallway and down the stairs, gripping onto the railing as tight as he could as he felt that his legs would give out from under him any second. He felt some hands on him, pulling him away from the door, but he shoved them off and barged through.

He felt the cold of the night almost immediately, as it slammed against his body, making it chilled.

But despite that, he kept running. He didn't know what from, he just ran. He needed to escape his mind, but he didn't know how. So he ran. Again. Like a little wimp.

His eyes stung as his fathers- the mans words played over and over in his head. 'You wimp, you deserve nothing. All you know how to do is cry. Be useful for once!'

His father- the man, was right. He was a wimp and he was useless. All he knew how to do was cry. He couldn't do anything for himself. His whole existence was a burden. He shouldn't be here...

Felix's steps had now slowed to a walk. He was tired. He was so tired of living. But he didn't want to die. He had always had hope for a better life, an opportunity to change everything. One hadn't come yet. And he was tired of waiting.

His vision blurred as he held in his tears. Go away! He hated crying, he did it so often that it felt habitual now. He hated it.

Felix was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard the loud honk of a truck. He raised his head and looked over his shoulder only to realise that he was standing in the middle of the road. A large storage truck coming straight toward him.

Felix's life flashed before his eyes. No. No no no. He didn't want this.

But he was frozen, he couldn't move. The sounds of people chattering and birds chirping were all drowned out by the loud sound of his heartbeat. The truck came closer, not bothering to stop.

"FELIX!!"

Felix suddenly felt arms around him. He was picked up and placed on the concrete path, slowly, delicately. Felix suddenly started to shake again. He pulled his legs into his chest as he felt wet streaks burn his cheeks.

"Felix, are you okay?" A soft voice sounded in his ears.

He slowly raised his head only to meet a familiar looking boy. "C-cha-" He suddenly couldn't respond.

I almost cried a little writing this

-

But yaaay I should double update more often