POV Shannon

I'm in the middle of a street, in Spain, kissing this amazing woman I used to date, this beautiful girl with the most beautiful eyes on earth, this person I'm in love with. I'm kissing her, again and again and I don't care about anything else right now but the happiness which is filling my heart right now. I stop kissing her for a second. Our gazes meet and there is nothing else but love in them. I want to talk but I am afraid to break the moment. What is more, I don't need to talk, she knows... and I know. I take her hand and we walk in the street. She caresses the back of my hand with her thumb. The contact makes me shiver. I want her so bad, in an innocent and not so innocent way...

I grab her arm and pull her against me. I need her contact. I need her as close as possible. And then it hits me. I'm not a cheater. What the hell am I doing? Even if I pushed her away, I still need to make things clear with Cary. Whatever I am doing right now is wrong. I am not this person. I can't be this person...

POV Cammie

Feeling Shannon's lips on mind is the best thing on earth. We are now walking in the street, hand into hand. She pulls me a bit closer to her. It feels so great and natural... but it is also wrong. I am with Kara and THIS... isn't right. I am not a cheater. At the same time, we stop walking and look at each other. We take a step back. Being one meter apart from her is terrible and I want badly to get back in her arms. I can't.

(Me) Shan...

(Shannon) I am sorry Cam, I can't... I just...

(Me) I am with Kara.... What we did, what we do....

(Shannon) I am still with Cary, I can't do that to her. I can't be that person I...

(Me) I need to make things clear, in my head, in my heart. I need to talk to Kara I just...

(Shannon) I shouldn't have kissed you...

(Me) I am sorry I kissed you....

(Shannon) It just felt so right I forgot everything else but...

(Me) It isn't right, it isn't us. We are not cheaters, we can't be...

(Shannon) I just...

I feel tears falling on my face. I feel terrible, and sad. The bubble exploded and I realize now what happened. It is so wrong but felt so right. I am lost, and disappointed about my behavior. I was weak, for a short moment, I just let go my feelings and... I feel Shannon's hand on my face.

(Shannon) Cam, don't cry... Please, I am so sorry

(Me) I am sorry to. What we did...

(Shannon) Hey look at me.

I stop crying and look at her. She wants to look calm but I can tell her heart is in pieces.

(Shannon) I am sorry that life is such a fucking mess and I wish nothing but happiness for you, and Kara, and Cary. I never plan to stand up in front of you 4 years after breaking up to tell you my love, but it happened. I think you deserve honesty. I feel like a piece of sheet and I don't want to be this person who breaks others happiness for her own. I feel miserable trust me. I am sorry I kissed you and made everything even more complicated. So now, I'll leave you space Cam, I am here if you need me, I am here if you want me, but I won't hold you back against your will. I am sorry about everything. I just... I love you Camden Scott, and if you think that we have a future together, please come back to me when everything will be clear in your life.

I can't answer anything. I do everything to provide me kissing her again. I want to fall in her arms and cry all the tears from my body. I feel that it is not fair. I know she is struggling and I can't make things more complicated.

POV Shannon

I want to hug her tight and never let her go. My heart is completely broken right now because I don't know what will happen. In two weeks I passed from a great relation with Cary to a proposal I refused to a love declaration to my ex. Then we stayed friends but finally kissed and now I need to push her away for a bit because I need to make things clear with Cary and she needs to think about what she wants. I didn't even know if I wanted to be back with Cammie when I revealed my love, I mean it is so complicated. I just thought that telling her would help me to let her go. I never thought my feelings could be reciprocal. She loves me, but she also loves Kara. I can't imagine to let her go for ever. I feel tears coming but I hide them. I don't want Cam to see me this way. I just need to let her go...for now...hoping that she will choose me

Actions have consequences. I am in love with Cammie and I have been honest about it. Now we kissed. Those moments we spend together during those holidays will have consequences, and I will need to face it. I need to call my mom when I get back, I will not be able to face it alone. I remember how I was when Cammie left me. I was a piece of shit, miserable, depressed... And now it seems that I will have to process that all over again. I want to cry. I need to go home. I need to find my bed and cry, alone. Cammie didn't say a word. I don't know what is in her mind right now.

(Me) I think we should go back to the villa and get some sleep. We'll have to wake up soon to go to the airport

She nods. We walk in the street, apart. I want to take her hand but I contain myself. I would be so easier to be selfish right now and just kiss her again, be with her. I am not this person, never have, never will. When I'll be back in US, I will visit Cary and explain her everything. She is such a great woman and I would love so much to make her happy. I can't. Not the way she expects me to do it. We walk till the villa, in silence.

POV Cammie

I wasn't able to talk all the way back to the villa. I don't deserve Shannon; she has been so brave, and calm and reasonable. I wish she could have accepted Cary proposal. I want her to be happy. But she is the kindest person on earth and she did what seemed right. She wanted Cary to be fully loved. I have no idea about what I want. I love Shannon. I love Kara. Both are great but I can't compare them. I feel terrible about kissing Shannon, I'm with Kara. She doesn't deserve to be cheated, she deserves to be fully loved. God...... What should I do?

We arrive at the villa and I still didn't say a word. I can't imagine what is in Shannon's head right now. I am such a bitch. I can't even look at her. I didn't want anything but her happiness and I broke everything she had. Everything we had... I start crying again. I close my eyes. I feel arms around me. She is hugging me.

(Shannon) Don't cry. Please don't cry.

(Cammie) I am so sorry...

Why love has to be that complicated? It should result in nothing but happiness. Love is beautiful; love is the reason why we live. It should be easy and natural. It has been easy and natural with Shannon this week, but then we remember our life and realized we couldn't enjoy our love in an easy way. She told me she will breakup with Cary, even if she loves her, even if I don't want to be with her, just because she wants her to be happy and fully love. It just shows me how careful and generous and honest she is. She is the most beautiful soul on earth. Am I willing to do the same? Do I want to do the same? Do I picture Shannon as the woman I want to spend my life with or is this person Kara? I don't know. I fucking don't know. Love is crap, love sucks. I don't want to think about it. I don't have a choice though, I will have to act and face the consequences of my decisions...