"...Always go with the choice that scares you the most because it will be the one that will help you grow..."

I can hear the sound of chirping birds. At least I think it sounds like chirping birds if the ringing in my ears isn't getting in the way. I struggled to open my eyes cursing the large living room window that is casting bright light into the house. I gazed around trying to recall what happened to me. Everything is mess... either broken, bent or thrown across the room. It is like a tornado has just swept through my living room.

The shattered glass on the floor, the overturned furniture, the constant aches in my body, the blood stains on the white rug... my blood.

I slowly brought my hand to the spot right beneath my hairline. That was the very spot that had met the granite counter top when Jason slammed my head and I lost consciousness. It is the last thing I remembered.

The chirping is happening again and this time, I know it isn't the birds. It is the door bell.

Someone is at my door.

Staring at the cuts o my thighs, I cried quietly. The aftermath of Jason's violence is usually ugly.

"Stop crying. Stop crying." I told myself. "Get up and stop crying."

I struggled to get up limping towards the front door. I left blood stains on the cream walls as I used them for support.

I peeked in the peep hole and noticed Lorraine.

It is Wednesday and I usually baby sit Terrance. I don't think I can do that today.

I closed my eyes in anguish and opened the door slightly hiding behind it. "Lorraine I'm sorry but I can't watch him today."

She is looking at the nasty cut on my head and the dried up blood on my beige nightgown. Her electric blue eyes dropped to my feet. I looked too, to see blood on them. She is more horrified now than when I opened the door.

"It happened again, didn't it?" She asked.

"No... I... "

She shoved her way in almost pushing me down in the process.

"Where's the bastard?" She asked. "Keira it has to stop! Look at you!"

"It's my fault not his."

"Are you seriously defending that prick?" She asked furiously. "I've known you for a year now and I know you try so hard to make this joke of a marriage work and it's not working! Keira, it's never your fault."

This time it is.

Jason beat me home from Miami. He arrived earlier and he didn't find me home. He was in the house the entire time,hiding in the pantry. One of my neighbors told on me but he did see a black SUV last night. It's a good thing Nick didn't get out of the car.

"Let's go file a police report. Come on!" She took my hand but I pulled back. "I'll speak for you if you're scared. Keira let's go. I'll even lie if it means he goes to jail."

"No. I can't..." I sobbed. "I can't tell on him... I can't."

"Why? You don't owe him anything. You haven't done anything wrong!"

I owe him a lot.

After Keith squandered all our wealth, we were in a tight spot. Jason offered to help. Back then he was wealthy and his gambling wasn't out of control. I agreed to the marriage without telling my parents. They would not have approved. Ad part of our agreement, I'm supposed to give him an heir to offset the debt. Without me getting pregnant, I have to return the money. I don't have that much money. I save up but it's not enough to pay him back and get divorced.

My family doesn't know Jason hurts me. It s something I have never told anyone except for Lorraine and it is because she has witnessed Jason slapping me once.

It was over a year ago when we were invited to an end year party and Jason caught me talking to one of the single guys at the party. He dragged me out back and accused me of cheating. When I tried to defend myself, he hit me so hard all I saw were stars as I sprawled down on the fridge zen ground.

Lorraine saw the whole thing and she had tried to step in when Jason pretended to apologize. I wish she wouldn't have made her presence known because he beat the living day lights out of me that night and forbid me from seeing Lorraine. But she kept coming around and I can't turn away from genuine friendship.

"You don't understand. I'll be fine."

"Then see a doctor. I'll take you."

"Don't you have to go to your classes?" I tried to change the topic to something else other than me.

"It can wait. My friend needs my help. You can't keep giving him the upper hand by keeping silent. Let me help you."

I appreciate her concern but I can't get out of this marriage. At least not without disastrous repercussions.

"I can't see a doctor. If he finds out-"

"I know a doctor who won't tell. He's my friend... sort of... anyway, come on, I'll drive you. But I seriously think you should get a shotgun."

"No." I refused profusely.

She set her son down and got a wet towel. She used it to clean me up.

"A shotgun with two bean bags and the rest should be shells. Look, it's simple."

"There's nothing simple about buying a gun. If it ends up in his hands he will blow my brains out. I don't want to die like that!"

She held me by the shoulders and shook me slightly.

"First, you go to the cops. You press charges and they take photo evidence of the bruises you've incurred. I am glad to be your witness. Then you file for separation and a restraining order. Of course he'll apologize and insist on therapy but don't buy into that crap. Insist on a divorce. Then buy the shotgun and hide it. If he comes at you fire a bean bag round as a warning. Tell him to keep off and if he tries to hurt you fire a second round."

"Lorraine you said two rounds. What do I do after the second bean bag and he's still coming at me?"

She leveled her eyes with mine narrowing them slightly.

"You fire an actual shell and blow his face off!"

I find Lorraine to be extreme. I can't fathom killing someone. I just can't. I can't even touch a gun. I don't want such things in my life. "I'll think about it." I told her to end the shotgun conversation.

"I'm buying you a shotgun for your wedding anniversary. Let me clean you up."

*

The blond haired doctor who had identified himself as Ferrer Cavaleiro flashed his light from one eye to the next and I followed it as he had instructed.

In my opinion he seems too young to be a doctor. He has an endearing boyish nature to him. He smiled at me and took a step back gazing at me thoughtfully.

"Well?" Lorraine asked impatiently.

"The CAT scans came out normal. Apart from your pupils being a little slower than usual and needing stitches, she's fine." He told Lorraine. "Which is a miracle."

"Thank goodness." I sighed. He eyed my thigh which I bandaged back home. I purposely wore a pair of pants to keep him from asking too many questions but he has noticed the unusual bulge on my thigh. He reached out to touch me but I caught his hand in a tight grip. "Don't."

"What happened?" He asked slowly pulling away from me.

That is the question I am dreading the most. I don't want to explain myself to anyone, more so a stranger.

"I walked into a door." I lied.

He doesn't believe me. "Miss Ballard..."

"Mrs. Burke." I corrected him.

I don't want him getting wrong ideas. Wrong ideas got me in trouble. Wrong ideas like Miami.

"Mrs. Burke, if you walked into a door then you don't mind me examining the rest of your body, do you? You keep holding onto your side. And I'd like to see what could be wrong with your thigh."

"There is no need, I'm fine. In fact we should go. Right Lorraine?" I asked dropping my hand from my ribs.

"Take off your clothes Keira." Lorraine went against me. This was not the plan. It was supposed to be quick and she was supposed to be quiet. "I want to see the damage this 'door' caused."

Betrayed by a friend... or is she trying to help me? Either way I hoped she would shut up.

"It does not have to be me. It could be a female nurse so that you're comfortable." He offered. "In fact, I'll ask a female nurse to join us-"

"I would rather not bring anyone else into this." I spoke a little too quietly hoping to keep the circle small. "Lorraine, leave us alone, I don't want you to see this."

"I want to see this!"

"Doctor-patient confidentiality. Get out."

She tried to protest but Ferrer kicked her out. If she sees the damage Jason has caused she will call him out on it and I will bare the consequences. Once it was just us two, I slowly started to undress until all I that is left is my bra and under wear.

The look on Ferrer's face says it all. I am black and blue from Jason's fists and his belt meeting my body. He closed his eyes burying his face in his hands for a few minutes.

I reached for my blouse but he caught my hand.

He has the softest hazel eyes. I'm fighting an urge to cry.

"You see this dark bruise?" He asked softly. I gazed down at my left side. He applied gentle pressure on my ribs and I almost jumped. "You have some broken ribs Keira. I need to tend to that before it causes internal bleeding or even punctures your lungs."

"Painkillers will do." I told him.

"For how long? Until he crushes your cranium? It's stitches today but the more he hits you in the head, the closer you come to brain damage or death." He gently removed the bandage around my thigh. He sighed when he saw the cut. "You wanted to go back home like this? What if it got infected? Keira, I admire your tolerance but it's that very tolerance that will end your life if you don't step up and do something. What's your plan?"

My plan is not to piss him off anymore. It is to tell Nick I can't be around him anymore. It is to be a good wife and stay home.

"I'll not give him a reason to get physical."

"Men like him don't need a reason to hurt a woman. They do it on a whim. I'm not going to tell you what to do but I'm going to tell you that if you don't walk out on him, he'll put you in the morgue."

The thought of myself in a body bag scares me, not because I fear death but because my dad and mom will be left helpless.

"Just painkillers for now. Please."

"Allow me to take pictures for evidence in case you ever press charges. I'm going to treat your wounds."

I agreed and sat still as he took photos of my bruises. Afterwards he stitched the cut on my head and the one on my thigh. It hurt a whole lot but the scar will be a constant reminder that I need to end the violence.

He wrote me up a prescription after we were done.

"Thank you."

"If you need my help, don't hesitate to call me." He told me while handing me his card. "Call me anytime even if you need a place to escape to."

"Thank you."

Another man in my life. Nick, Cole and now Ferrer. Jason will hang me if he finds out.