I spoke to Mikey today. Or rather, he spoke to me. He wanted to know what's going on with you, because he doesn't know, either. I didn't know what to tell him. There was nothing to tell him. I said that you've been drinking again, and I've barely slept. I said that you're never home, you never talk to me, you never touch me. I cried, Gerard. I cried in front of your little brother, and he was the one who had to hold me. And where were you?

This is day four of me writing you letters, and they disappear, but I don't know if you read them. Because you don't fucking talk to me. You don't even look at me.

Why have you been sleeping on the couch? I miss having you by my side. I miss curling up with you. I'm not used to sleeping alone. I can't sleep properly without you. Please come to bed with me tonight, Gee. You're always warm and cuddly and having you hold me makes me smile because it's you and I love you...

I haven't seen you today. You were out when I woke up, and you're out now. I just want you home. I want to hold your hand and tell you that everything's going to be okay. I want to kiss you and tell you how much I love you. No, I don't even want that. I just want to curl up in bed with you, and to be able to touch you, skin on skin. No sex, just touching. Because you're beautiful, and you've never been able to see that, and it upsets me.

Please come home, Gee. I don't like it when you're out at night.

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