Aurora's Point Of View

"I'll take three slices of pizza."

A pizza place...? This was his much needed pit-stop? I had absolutely no appetite.

"I don't need to eat," I mumbled.

"Yes, you do," Arlan didn't look at me as if my comment wasn't important.

"No, I don't," I mumbled. I was embarrassed, no, humiliated, that I blurted out 'I love you'. What was I thinking?

I wasn't thinking, that was the problem.

Arlan grabbed my chin in an instance and his glare alone was intense. I slightly lower eyes out of uneasiness, like a puppy.

He gives me a quick 'thought so' head cock and pays after retrieving the pizza box.

As we got into the car and he started up the engine, I crossed my arms and exhaled shakily, feeling nervous.

"Why did we stop for pizza? I'm not hungry, Arlan."

"Give me a cigarette."

"You had two on the way here."

"Do I look like I give a fuck if I get lung cancer?" He mumbled, brow furrowed as he read something on his phone.

I brought my knees to my chin and dipped my head into darkness, biting my lip and feeling the urge to cry. A whimper broke from me. I hated all of this! I hated him so much!

"Aurora," he exasperatedly drug out, throwing his head back against his headrest. He sighed deeply through his nose, looking back to his phone. "I said cigarettes. I'm too stressed to put up with you anymore."

"I'm getting it," I whine softly, fumbling to open his glove compartment.

"Didn't look like it. Now stop with the whining tone, or I'll put your mouth to some other use."

My hand froze. Silence ensued.

Other use?

"Like eating pizza," my wavery voice replies anxiously to his innuendo.

"Hah," he dryly laughs, starting up the car and turning the wheel. "Right."

I hand him a cigarette and he lights it with the hand that's not driving. I lean against the window, exhausted.

"We're going back now," His voice is muffled with his cigarette. "But I can't leave you unfed, that's why we stopped for food."

"No," I whimper quickly, a surge of fearful adrenaline waking me up. I didn't want to go back there.

"No? The fuck do you mean 'no'?" He angrily spat.

"Arlan I-I'm tired, and I don't want to go back. It's not safe."

"Relax, you'll be in the car."

"No!" I plead, my voice wavery. "Please, I've learned my lesson. I-I'm going to behave, I'm going to listen to you. Can't you drop me at your house first? Please? Please, I'm asking you nicely."

"Will you stop bitching?" He roared, and I flinched and curled up into myself. "Open the box and start on your fucking slice if you have that bad of a fucking oral fixation where you need to move your mouth 24 fucking 7."

His hand gripped the wheel tightly and I felt speechless at his crude comment. He pressed aggressively on the gas and the car was flying now, making me grip the seat.

"Open the fucking box," he beseeches before I can even respond.

"Okay! I'm sorry!" I cry in defense quickly. "Please, I'm scared, I'm sorry," I whisper out.

I slowly open the plastic and lift the slice, nibbling on it. I barely taste it with such a lack of appetite.When he hears the shifting of the plastic box opening and the slice being lifted, he ticks a brow up.

"Good girl," he affirms under his breath in a frustrated tone.

Soon enough he parks and I look up at him.

"'Nough with the doe eyes, finish your slice," he nods his chin at me, not messing around.

Looking down, I feebly start nibbling on it again, tears pricking my eyes. He slams the door and I'm left in the car alone.

After some time, I've eaten half the slice and set it back in the box, exhausted. With the car off, I can't check what time it is. I'm so tired. Arlan's abusive state kept me on my toes constantly and was draining. I just needed a mental break. Even being around him while he's silent is anxiety inducing, waiting for him to snap. I lean against the side of the door and close my eyes softly, trying to ease my mind. My body dozes off to sleep and into dreamland as I recall my childhood...

'Aurora, this is Miss Cassandra. Can you say hello?' My caseworker introduced me to the young woman in front of me.

My five year old shy self looked up at my caseworker and I shook my head, hiding behind her leg. I was confused, unsure of where I was. This place looked dirty.

'Just drop her bags upstairs,' The young woman Cassandra answered. She kneeled down to me. 'Hi, sweetie. Is this your first foster home?'

I hid further behind my caseworker legs, wrapping my arms around them. Looking up to my caretaker, I whimpered.

"Want mommy."

A pained, sympathetic look crossed my caretaker's face as she glanced to Cassandra and then down to me.

"Sweetheart, this is your new home, you don't have a mommy."

"Where is she? I want mommy," I asked weakly, thinking all we needed to do was find her. Every little girl and boy had a mommy, so where was mine...? I wanted her, I wanted a hug, protection. I was scared...

Cassandra and my caretaker exchanged awkward, pained looks, not sure of what to say.

"Uh," Cassandra cleared her throat, extending her hand. "Sweetie, why don't you come here and I'll show you your room? It's pink! Do you like pink?"

My eyes watered as I looked up to my caretaker. My caretaker gave me my small rabbit and a reassuring pat on my back.

"Bye now, Aurora. You're safe here, it's okay. Go on."

I hesitantly dropped my clutch from her, and looked warily to Cassandra, hiding behind my rabbit stuffie. Cassandra smiled warmly. I guess I didn't have a choice. Cautiously, I put my small hand in hers.

I wake up to a hand gently rubbing my leg and groggily peel my eyes open.

Arlan's back.

What time is it? How long have I been asleep? It was dark out now as my eyes adjusted. I felt emotional from my dream, and even moreso, sad remembering where I was now.

"You sleepy, baby?" Arlan implores softly. A tone that soft from a man who had been short-tempered all day surprised me.

"You're back," I say tiredly.

"Yeah baby," he's still rubbing my leg, reading a text from his phone, "I am." Arlan squeezes my calf before continuing rubbing my leg. I resist the urge to coil up away from his touch that makes me sick.

"You seem like you're in a good mood."

"I am," He affirms. "I got what I want."

He clicked his phone off and he looked at me directly.

"I'm good at that, so I usually do."

What does that mean?

I'm sure my face gave off the uncomfortability that I was feeling.

"Come here, baby," he moved his seat back which sent alarms ringing in my head.

"Arlan, no, I ate the pizza," I said, gesturing to the box and that I had followed his orders.

"No, I know. I'm not going to spank you or anything. I just want to hold you." He grabbed my hips and shifted me over to his lap, my legs dangling over before I could say anything.

I whined softly.

"Shh," He insisted, reaching under my sweater to rub my hot, bare skin, his rings cold on my skin.

He let out a long sigh, dipping his mouth near my ear and lightly biting it "You're so good."

I tensed, confused. Was he not just saying earlier how I was disgusting?! He kissed my neck for a few minutes as I awkwardly sat there. While his neck kisses were usually aggressive and turned to hickies, this time, his peppered kisses were soft.

"Ok. Buckle up. We're going home."

I thankfully went into the passenger seat.

When we arrived, he removed his jacket and hung it.

"Water?" He asked.

"No thank you..."

Damn, nice things need to happen to Arlan more often. Maybe now that he was in a good mood, I could ask him about applying to that university he had mentioned.

Seating myself on a stool by the bar as he poured himself water, I noticed there was no new scrapes, bruises, or blood splatters on him. Maybe my 'I love you' did influence him not to hurt anyone. He pulled his black hoodie over his head to reveal himself in a skin tight black wife beater, tattooed arms flexing with the movement.

"Arlan...thank you for taking me to your work today," I said softly, lying, using all my strength to not stutter. "It was a good wake up call. I see how hard you work and you do it for me, and I know to behave now."

He smirked at me, sending eery chills up my spine and arms. Wordlessly, he came up to me, smoothed my arms up and down with his hands, and kissed me softly. I still wasn't used to his kisses, they made me just as uncomfortable every time. He brought a hand to my face and cupped my cheek in his hold, turning his face and twirling his tongue on my still one. He pressed his forehead against mine.

"It's you and me, babe. Forever. I promise that," He sincerely spoke.

I exhaled shakily, not knowing what exactly to say. I cleared my dry throat.

"S-so, uh, I was thinking...about that university you mentioned? Could w-we still apply to that? With the fake graduation certificate."

He grinned, clutching my face harder, then suddenly looked serious. Uh oh. Did I upset him? What did I do?

"Look at you, baby."

I searched his face in confusion. He exhaled a laugh dryly, his face slowly grinning again.

"You're a criminal, just like me."