《how the words come》gravedigger
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here lie all the sentences cut short by my indecisiveness
all the periods stapled on after words that weren't meant
to be the finish
i run my hands through frostbitten soil
and scrape my palms on headstones
where the bloodiest poems of mine are buried–
funny how each one is engraved with your name
and i will not apologize for writing about you
just like you will never apologize for making me
not because you aren't sorry
but because you don't realize that it's your fault
i didn't ask to be a poet
although it is my fault that i've let it ruin my life
i wish i could stifle the urge to bleed onto pages
i wish i didn't have to bury every sweet song
you had ever whispered in my ear
is this a love poem or an apology letter?
i can't tell the difference between them anymore–
mostly because i love you, but i'm sorry for it.
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Yin-Yang
Mages in North America seem to have it all – typically from well-off families, and able to manipulate their environment in ways most of the world would never believe. They don’t even have to bother with the mundane details of life like housework, thanks to their sensitives, who also make a useful source for extra magical energy. After all, sensitives have no use for it themselves, and if mages weren’t meant to make use of it, then the sensitives would obviously have some way to prevent that. That a mage can transform a sensitive physically, with no restrictions beyond overall mass and basic biological viability, whereas magic tends not to work directly on any other living thing, is only further proof. And look at the way they live on their own, barely a step above animals. It’s better for them to belong to a mage. Sensitives in North America live on the edge of society and survival – typically so paranoid they avoid hospitals and anything else that could lead to being tracked, many of them with little or no education and no legal identity or existence. Mages exist, and mages want sensitives for some reason, but no one ever comes back to explain what that reason is. Waiting every day for the hunters to notice them doesn’t lead to much motivation or hope for the future. And once they’re captured, they’re the property of someone with a terrifying amount of power over them. Anything is better than capture. Mages are born to be the masters, and sensitives are born victims. Or are they? Jax’s life is turned upside-down when he’s caught by the hunters and sold to a mage. Andreas is still mourning for his previous sensitive, though, unconsciously creating a difficult standard for Jax to live up to, all the more so while still struggling to come to terms with this new reality as Andreas’ sensitive. A runaway sensitive isn’t what Van expects at the mental health centre. Is this a hunter trap, set for him and the rest of the Donovan family by the hunters? The hunters would, after all, love to see them cross the line openly and finally do something they can be charged with. Either way, Miranda’s genuinely in trouble, and he can’t just abandon her to it. Snatching a sensitive out from under the hunters and hiding her is odd behaviour for a mage – but then, Catherine is an odd mage, living in disgrace in the old servants’ quarters of her grandmother’s house, responsible for cooking and housework. Lila owes Catherine her freedom; is there a way to help Catherine achieve her own, and at what price? Tension is building between traditionally-minded mages and those advocating change, and something has to break. *** Yin-Yang includes a small amount of profanity and no graphic sex or on-screen physical violence. However, sex and gender roles and relationships within the mage/sensitive subculture are non-traditional in mainstream North American terms. The key criterion in a primary relationship is not relative sex or gender, but the pairing of mage and sensitive; given the transformation of sensitives by their mages, physical sex is non-absolute for a sensitive, and gender identity can vary as in anyone else. *** *** The way mages treat sensitives is extremely varied and, in some cases is outright abusive. The struggle against that is pretty much the point of the book. It is NOT grimdark or misery-porn! However, if you will be triggered by this, please, don't read Yin-Yang! *** Complete stand-alone novel, 153K words! Also available on Scribble Hub and as a free ebook.
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