I wake up with a headache. I fell asleep on the couch again. It has been three days after our fight and I can't get her out of my head. I can't get her face and how she looked at me when I screamed all that into her face. I regret saying all those vile things to her. She may be frustrating and secretive but she didn't need to be slutshamed by me. I've been trying to reach Maria ever since she left and I am alway left on voicemail. I texted Lena to ask if she heard from her. She can't be just ignoring me. Can she?

She is. According to Lena they talked the other day. Thats just great. I call Chris and he says he is in town getting things for the new apartment. I don't tell him why I'm upset and I just decide I'll leave him be. I have friends, I have people I can call when I need to, but I have no one to call about Lena. She is such a mystery that I don't even know anyone who she would talk to other than Maria. I make myself breakfast and get changed. I have an interview today.

On my way there I play some music. The silence is defeating. This is worse than a break up. I feel like I lost an opportunity at something great. I enter the studio and they tell me I'll be doing some games along with an interview about our latest Avengers movie. They put the mic on me and we are ready to roll. I am so grateful to this interview because not only did it give me an excuse to get off the couch it will also avert mu thoughts from the beautiful girl I insulted in my house three days ago. I still have her necklace and I never took it off. She's the last person that put it on me back in the plane. When she let me touch her stomach and when she shivered under my touch.

I finish the interview finally and check the time. It is already 4 pm. I get myself some food out of a drive through and head home. When I sat down on the kitchen table to eat I had nothing to do so I took out my phone. I don't have an official account on twitter so I use a fake account to be kept in the loop of things. As soon as I opened twitter I was bombarded with pictures of Chris at Barnes&Noble. What is so interesting about that?

_______________

What the fuck? I open the pictures and there they are. Coffee's in hand and walking away from the paparazzi. Was he lying to me when I called him? Maybe he was with her and didn't want to make it awkward. I don't see Lena as the type to chase someone like Chris. She looks and acts like she is the one being chased not the other way around.

I decide I'll watch some movies to relax my mind. I finish my food and go to the living room. Since I am in a shitty mood I decided I'll watch Parent Trap, which is my all-time favourite movie. I know it word for word.

It seems I've fallen asleep when I am awoken by my phone ringing. It's Chris.

"Hey Scar what are you up to?"

"Hey to you too, just watched a movie."

"Nice, are you in a mood to go out somewhere?"

"Why?" I ask

"I haven't seen you in a while and thought we could catch up and also talk about the press conference we have in less than two weeks" He says

"Oh shit. That's in October right?"

"Yup, it seems you need an assistant Scarlett"

"I already have one" I lie.

"You may be able to lie to others but you can't lie to me. Besides, I already know she quit." he says.

"Right, I forgot you were with her today." I say

"How do you even know about that?" he asks

"Paparazzi"

"Right, those assholes again" he says frustrated

"I don't feel like going out." I say

"Fine then unlock your door"

"What?"

The I hear the doorbell.

"You little shit, you scared me!" I say opening the door.

"You are the easiest person to scare like ever!" he says hugging me.

"How's my best friend?" he asks

"Like crap" I say as we walk inside.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks

And so we did exactly that. We sat in my bedroom and talked about Lena. About what happened between us and about the horrible things I said to her that day. I hate myself for doing that and I think he can tell. He kept comforting me and telling me that I can fix it. But I don't think I do. I have no idea what to say to her if and when I see her. She and I don't even live on the same side of town so there is no way I can see her on my run. Her only friend I know of is not answering her phone and I don't know what to do.

"Should I get a new assistant?" I ask him

"If you need one then yes" He says

"But the're not going to be her." I say out loud.

"Why are you so bummed about that?"

"I like her Chris. She's so interesting and such a pleasure to work with. She did everything so well and I didn't have to do anything. I didn't even have to cook for god sakes." I tell him

"Why didn't you tell her that instead of slutshaming her and trying to call her out on something that isn't even true?"

"I don't know. I did it because I wanted to hurt her like she's been hurting me for weeks."

"How has she been hurting you? If you din't mind asking." he says

"She won't let me touch her. Not even a small not meaningful hug. She let me touch her hair, her hands, God she even let me touch her abs."

"Wait how did that happen and you've never hugged?"

"It's not important"

"Dude you skipped so many steps in your relationship."

"Let me finish. She usually doesn't let people too close to her and keeps everyone at a distance. I get that to a certain point and I try to understand it. Now. How come she doesn't let me hug her after knowing me for over 2 months. It's not that she doesn't let anyone touch her. It's that she lets certain people touch her and those certain people are not me"

"Can I tell you something but don't get angry?" he asks

"Sure"

"You see the problem here is not necessarily her. It's you, matter of fact it is your jealousy. You want to be the one she touches and I think you're being very possessive over her"

"I am not being possessive don't be ridiculous"

"I saw how you looked at her during the after party premiere. It was not you being possessive but it was sure as hell jealousy."

"Well we can throw all of that into a river because I made sure to burn that bridge."

"Let's go out and watch a show? Just like old times?"

"I don't know Chris"

"Come on chop chop, get changed" he says pushing me off the bed

"Fine"

The rest of the night we spent watching a comedy show. It was awful but because it was awful it was so funny. There weren't many people there either. On our way back to the car we stopped by an ice cream cart and got some ice cream for ourselves. We ate in the car just like Lena and I used to. With that thought his screen lit up.

"Booty call?" I tease

He reaches for his phone and smiles typing back. He doesn't let me see though.

"You know me better than that Scar. Do you want me to drive you back home? It's getting very late" he says

"Sure, let's go"

He drives me back home and I fall asleep as soon as my head hits my pillow.

I wake up with my phone ringing, without looking at it I answer the phone.

"Hello" I say

"Hey honey, did you just wake up?" I hear my mom say on the other line.

"No" I try to make it sound real.

"How do you feel about spending the day with me. You can send Lena home and let hee have a day off." she says

"Sure, let me just get ready."

"I'll be waiting at home" She says and hangs up.

Fantastic. I go into my closet and search for something simple. I put on some plain jeans and a white shirt over it. In the corner of my eye I could see her shirt. I am not going to wear that. No that would be wrong. Ugh I'm such a hypocrite. I am literally wearing her jewelry.

I finally get fully dressed and head out. I arrive at my mom's house and park in the front. I usually knock and wait for her but this morning I just walked into the house.

"Mom!" I yell through the massive house.

"I'm coming." she says walking down the stairs.

"Hello darling" she says and hugs me

"Hey mom."

"Whats wrong with you?" she asks and we walk to her living room

"Nothing, just work"

"How's Lena? Was she happy she got a day off?" she asks

"About that.."

"What did you do?" she asks

"Why are you suggesting I did something?" I say almost offended.

"Because most times it is like that" she says and smiles.

"We had a fight." I tell her

"About what exactly?"

"Well we talked at first and then it got heated. And then I said some things I shouldn't have said. I mentioned to her that she doesn't let me touch her and calls me Ms. That of course mattered to me and I felt hurt because she let people who she doesn't know that much hug her and not me. Who knows all of her little habits" I say

"This seems like it was started by you Scarlett"

"It was."

"Why did it bother you that much that she showed respect towards you?"

"I don't know" I lie.

"Maybe she didn't feel comfortable hugging you honey"

"I doubt that. We saw each other every single day. She comforted me and helped me not just once. She saved me from getting raped for god sakes." I say

"Did you ever comfort her? Did you even catch her crying?" she asks

"No there was never an opportunity for that." I say

"Then she probably doesn't feel comfortable doing that with you." she says

"But I talked with Maria, her friend, and she told me she is fine. That if there was a problem that I would see it."

"Scarlett would you tell anyone about how Chris was doing? If you know damn well that he doesn't want people to know?"

"No, but this is different"

"Does she still work for you?" she asks

"No, she resigned." I say

"Scarlett" my mother says in a tone that is similar to the one she would use when I'm in trouble.

"Apologize to her. What else did you say to her that made her do that?"

"I.. I accused her of sleeping with Maria.." I say looking down.

"Scarlett! I didn't raise you to slutshame someone. Even if she did it is none of your business."

"I know." I say

"Come here" she says and opens her arms for me to fall into them. I gladly accepted and we stayed there for hours. I cried into her shoulder and we spent the entire day together.