💜

Yeji was so happy to finally be home after her long and busy day spent in the studio with the girls.

She put her bag on the floor, put her keys on the table, and then kicked her shoes off onto the floor so she could go upstairs to you.

You haven't been feeling well the last few days.

It wasn't a physical kind of sick that you felt, although you were completely exhausted from the toll your anxiety and depression were taking on your mind.

Instinctively, Yeji is very worried about you and she rushed up the stairs to your shared bedroom as quickly as she could get to you.

She froze when she stood outside of the bedroom, though.

The door was closed all but a crack of the way and she was able to peek inside.

She needed to do that, her worries only growing when she heard you crying inside.

You weren't just crying. You were sobbing. She could see you hugging your knees to your chest, crying harder than she's ever seen or heard before.

It was clear that today was worse than all the days before and she walked into the room right after the realization hit her.

She walked to you and sat down beside you. You put your head on her shoulder right away, your tears falling onto her shirt instead of down your cheeks like before.

"Tell me what's wrong." She whispered and rubbed your back.

"I can't." You mumbled through your tears.

Yeji shook her head and then lovingly kissed yours.

"You can. You know you can tell me anything." She said in your ear but you just sniffled and continued to cry.

"I know the last few days have been hard on you. I know you're hurting. Baby, I'm worried about you. Talk to me. I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to listen."

You lifted your head from her shoulder and stared at her as she wiped away your tears, catching more as they fell from your eyes.

"I'm tired." You mumbled. "I'm tired of everything. Sometimes... I think it'd just be easier to give up."

"You weren't having those thoughts today while I wasn't here with you, right?" She asked as tears filled her eyes and a lump appeared in her throat.

But she knew by the look in your eyes that you had and her heart shattered even more.

"I'm sorry." You cried. "It's just so hard. It's like I'm a prisoner of my mind, like I'm trapped and can't escape. I worry it might never get better."

"It will, baby." She assured. "I know it's hard to believe that when it's so dark and so tough, right?"

You nodded tearfully.

"I know, darling. But it will get better. I can't tell you when but I know it will. I know it's not easy for you to keep trying and to keep fighting but it'll be worth it. One day, you'll look back and be so grateful that you didn't give up. I know it might not feel or seem like it, but the future is bright. Our future is."

You sniffled and set your forehead on yours.

"I'm so proud of you."

"I don't think there's anything to be proud of when it comes to me these days, Yeji. I can barely get out of bed."

"Oh, baby girl. I beg to differ. I think that is an accomplishment right there. You're fighting through every day and waking up every morning. That's something to be proud of and be grateful for, because I know how much you're going through right now."

"Really?" You sniffled.

"Really. You're amazing and I love you." She smiled, kissing your forehead.

"I love you too."

"And I'm so happy that you're alive, that you exist. Because I don't know what I'd ever do without you. I know it's hard to keep going sometimes, but I'm happy you keep fighting."

You put your cheek on her shoulder and closed your eyes as she began to rub your back.

"Me too."

"So next time you have those thoughts, you call or text me immediately and if, for some reason, you can't get ahold me, you get ahold of the girls and they will get me." She promised. "You're going to get through this and I will be here for you every step of the way."

"Thank you, Yeji. Truly, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I love you so much, my tough cookie." She smiled, kissing across your head. "Whatever you have to do to get better, I'll go through every step of it with you. I won't let you go and I won't give up. I promise you."

"I promise the same to you." You said and looked up at her, sending her a small smile. "I won't give up. Not when I've got you to lean on."

"Always." She said and held you tighter, promising that she'd never let you go.