My eyes widened as I stared at Tyler's stiff body.

When I saw him beginning to take steps towards me, I turned back to my dad's car and looked at him pleadingly. "Can I go home please?"

I didn't wait for him to respond as I opened the car door, letting myself in before closing the door. "Why?" He asked, once I've settled in.

"I don't feel well, my stomach hurts," I said quickly as I buckled my seat belt.

He slowly nodded before facing the road in front of him. "Okay," he whispered as he put his car onto drive.

Just as dad began rolling out of the parking lot, I looked out the window and saw Tyler standing at the ledge of the sidewalk, watching our car driving ahead.

My head hung low as hundreds of thoughts invaded my head. I tried to control my breathing as I clenched my shirt in a tight hold.

"Do you want me to pick up some medicine for you before I go to work?" Dad asked once he was parked in our driveway a few minutes later.

I shook my head. "No. Thanks for letting me stay home," I said as I began unbuckling my seat belt.

Right when I was about to leave his car, he stopped me with a hold on my upper arm. "I know I'm not a girl, but I remember how your mother used to be during her... moments. Chicken noodle soup used to help her. We have boxes in the lower cupboard by the sink," he said, smiling softly at the memory of mom.

I smiled sadly, and nodded. "Thanks dad," I whispered before heading out of the car.

When I opened the front door with my keys, I heard dad reversing out of the driveway behind me. Once his car was driving away, I closed the door and ran upstairs to my bedroom.

I got inside quickly, and closed the door roughly before throwing my bag on the floor next to my night stand.

Without thinking twice, I opened the first drawer on my nightstand once I was sitting on the ledge of the bed and pulled out the first photo I saw.

A soft smile grew on my lips at the sight of Tyler and I hugging, and I lied back as I stared at my ceiling, thinking about how I should even begin to talk to him.

It shouldn't be this hard, but every time I'm near him, it feels like my heart is dragging me behind.

I didn't even realize I was clenching our photo hard to my chest until the sound of my phone ringing erupted from the inside of my bag.

Quickly, I rushed to my bag and pulled out my phone — but not before shoving the photo of Tyler and I back into my drawer.

"Hello," I said breathlessly once I've answered.

"Hi sweetie, I just got a phone call from one of your mom's old friends. She just heard we were in town and invited us for dinner on Saturday," dad said through the other line, and I slowly nodded.

"Okay," I said slowly. "Do I know this friend?"

"No, I don't think so. Your mom was friends with her back in high school," he said, and I could imagine him smiling again.

I was nodding, but remembered that he couldn't see me, so I replied. "Well, I can't wait to meet her then."

He stayed silent for a few more seconds. "I just parked in front of my office, I'll see you later on tonight," he said, and I threw a goodbye to him before hanging up.

When I left the phone on the empty space next to me, I began rubbing my right ring figure with my thumb and index finger on my other hand as I stared at a photo across my room.

It consisted of my mother, eight months pregnant with me.

Also two weeks before I was born, and she passed.

➸

At eleven in the morning, my phone rang while I was in the middle of an episode of Dawson's Creek.

"Hey," I yawned once I've picked up the phone from my night stand.

"Where the hell are you?" Erin said, but by the sound of her voice, it sounded like she was clenching her jaw hard.

"Home," I said slowly as I slightly cringed, remembering that I forgot to tell her I left.

"Why?" She asked blankly and I sighed as I leaned against the head board.

My silence was an answer for her. "Does it involve my brother?" She whispered, and I bit my lip.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because he punched his locker, and kicked the one next to his," Erin laughed dryly, and my eyes widened.

"What's going on?" She asked, and I began stretching my fingers on my right hand.

A soft sigh left me. "I think you should come over. It's a long story."

Erin agreed before hanging up, and I sent her my address before I sat still on my mattress, feeling anxious for our conversation while the time passed.

I hadn't noticed it has been twenty minutes since I last talked to her until the doorbell rang, reminding me that she's now here.

Feeling a spark of energy, I jumped out of bed and went downstairs quickly before opening my front door, revealing Erin who's wearing a hard glare, directed to me.

"What?" I asked as she roughly shoved passed me, making her way inside my house.

Erin took a seat on the couch and pouted dramatically once I began making my way to her. "Since when are you and my brother a thing?"

My eyes widened. "What the hell are you talking about?" I asked as I took the seat next to her.

She rolled her eyes. "That has to be it. You guys have been dating behind my back."

I choked on my own saliva. "N—no! We're not dating," I said, hoping to calm her down but she continued to rant.

"You don't have to lie to me, Mandy. I hate liars and—"

"Jesus Christ, Erin, we're not dating! I used to be friends with him when we were ten," I blurted out, and her eyes widened.

"What?"

My jaw clenched briefly and I closed my eyes tightly before relaxing. "I'm Amanda, as in, Tyler's friend, Amanda."

Erin's lips parted from shock and stared at me for a long period of time before clearing her throat. "Amanda, like, soccer Amanda? Amanda who was there at the accident?"

I didn't noticed I closed my eyes tightly until I focused and saw only blackness. Once I've opened my eyes, I noticed Erin staring at me with shock. "Wow, I can't believe that it's you," she laughed. "Tyler's been going psycho since you left."

She looked over her shoulder and sighed. "If he heard me say his name, he'd probably get so pissed at me."

"Why?" I asked as my brows began to furrow.

Erin shrugged as she tilted her head to the side to get a better look at me. "No idea."

"What are you looking at?" I asked slowly after a few moments passed.

She returned her head to its natural state, and smiled. "I just can't believe it took me so long to realize."

"What do you mean?"

"Tyler has a photo of the both of you in his dresser, and when my mom found it, he went ballistic. I didn't see it fully, but I saw you," she shook her head. "My mom wasn't the biggest fan of yours after you left."

"I tried reaching out!"

Erin sighed. "Mom changed the house number a few weeks before you left, remember? And you couldn't even have bothered to stay with Tyler before you left."

Tears were threatening to leave me. "My dad wanted us on the road so we got to the town in time for his meeting. There was nothing that I could do. I was still ten, I couldn't persuade him to stay longer."

As if she noticed I was about to fall apart, she rested her hand on my knee. "I get it. But it wasn't just that. Mom blames you for changing him completely. After you left, he became depressed. He took antidepressants and met with someone almost everyday."

"What were his injures?" I whispered, afraid to hear what she was about to say.

Erin tightly smiled. "He had a subarachnoid hemorrhage. The car that hit him hit his head first."

"Isn't that... life threatening?"

"It was a hard year. That's all I can say," she said as she clenched her other fist.

I swallowed hard. "I'm so, so sorry Erin. This is all my fault."

Her brows furrowed, waiting for me to continue. "It should have been me," I whispered quietly as I stared down to my knees.

Erin stayed silent for the few passing moments before lifting up my head from under my chin. "No, because then you would be injured. You weren't in that car, Amanda, you couldn't have changed any of this."

My silence made her continue. "Tyler, although stubborn, got out of it fine. He was one of those rare cases," she smiled softly, and I sighed.

"I should have been there though," I mumbled, and she shook her head.

"Don't blame yourself. You're here now, and you can make it right between you both."

I bit my lip hard, and began to fear that I was probably bleeding now. "But what if he still hates me?"

Erin laughed, shaking her head at that thought. "He could never hate you. No matter how much negative thoughts my mother threw at him, he never hated you."

➸

Our conversation drifted soon after, but my thoughts were still locked on Tyler.

By four o'clock, Erin's mother called her complaining that something was wrong with Tyler and that Erin should head home.

Of course, wanting to listen to her mother's rules, she followed, and left me home alone for the next few hours.

My mind still shifted to Tyler from time to time, and I sighed.

When it was six, my phone rang with a notification, and I checked to see that it was my dad.

Hi hon. Remember to order yourself food. Or make some chicken noodle soup. I'll be home in a few hours.

A sigh left me as I rested my phone face down on the coffee table in front of me.

After thinking about what to eat, I chose to cook — hoping that it will move my thoughts away from Tyler and onto not wanting to burn the house down.

A pout formed on my lips when I saw that there was nothing in the fridge. Chicken noodle soup it is.

True to my dad's words, the store bought soup was packaged in the cupboard next to the sink, which I immediately took out and read the instructions before pulling out a pot.

After twenty or so minutes passed, I sat the hot bowl of soup in front of the bar stool when suddenly, the doorbell rang.

My brows furrowed as I checked the time, only to see that it was seven o'clock.

I headed to the front door as I licked my bottom lip, curious to see who was on the other side.

Right when I opened the door, my lips parted, ready to greet whoever was on the other side, but froze when I saw what the other side of the door revealed.

Tyler was looking down at his feet before he looked up, glancing at me through his dark lashes.

Without a word transpiring between us, he invited himself in, and I slowly looked at the empty space outside before slowly shutting the door.

When I looked back to where he was standing, I saw him casually leaning against the closet door, but keeping his eyes on me the entire time.

Right when our eyes met, he pushed himself off of the wall and came in front of me, leaving me to unintentionally back myself up against the wall.

Slowly, Tyler brought his right hand between us, and used it to cup the back of my neck as he started to draw his thumb up and down my cheekbone.

My breath was cut short when he suddenly pulled me closer to him, enveloping me in his arms in a tight embrace.

My eyes closed tightly as I slowly wrapped my arms around him, letting out a shaky breath.

We were both holding each other tightly before I decided to loosen my hold. When we both had at least a meter or two apart from us, I sighed.

"Amanda," he breathed out before looking around my house. "How long have you known?"

I bit my lip before responding. "About a week," I whispered, and he cast his eyes down.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I moved my eyes to hide from his intense gaze, but his hand suddenly moved so it was lifting my chin up so I was looking at him. Tyler's mahogany eyes met mine, and I felt at shortness of breath.

"I thought you hated me," I admitted, and Tyler shook his head as a short laugh left him.

"Amanda... I could never hate you," he started as he slowly dragged his hand up my arm. "I was lost without you."

➸