I'm just an awful person. I miss him like crazy and it's been eleven days. I really wanted to text him. I'm so close to having a breakdown and I know I'm not going to last. I am going to text him now. Yes I am. I don't care if I'm going to look like a clingy idiot. It's going to be so embarrassing but I know it'll make me feel better afterward.

I just miss somebody to talk to who will make me smile until I fell asleep.

I'm sure I would like Nate if I wasn't comparing him to somebody else. I suck at this dating thing for real.

I dig my pocket and took out my phone start to search for his number. It took me a few minutes to type and re-typing a text for him. This is stupid I know but I really need to talk to him.

Hey

tbh I really miss you

I'm sorry

honestly this sucks. I feel like I've made a huge mistake for telling you that I needed space. I don't know why I said that. It's complicated because I really like you but I don't know, it's just so weird. I feel like it is impossible to like somebody when you don't know them.

for real, you're so nice and sweet and funny and amazing and you're always there for me

you never let me down

I know I messed up with all of our issues and stuff like argument or anything else

I'm really sorry

I miss you a lot, I miss our friendship and having someone to talk to

please forgive me

answer me please

this is getting clingy now

DAMMIT ANSWERRRR

: ugh

sorry

bye

***

It's been two days and she hasn't respond any of those stupid cheezy texts I sent her. In the end I delete the whole conversation because I can't stand looking at my apology. I look like an idiot knowing that she might be reading it and ignore me. Fuck, I can't believe she's gone. She's really gone. No more Sky Rose. She moved on and I practically let her leave. I should've said something earlier now it's too late.

I guess her absence hurt less lately since Taylor has been hanging around 24/7. Her newest conversation is about college and prom. She's already looking at tuxes for prom and how she wants my bow-tie to match her dress. She always wanted to know what college I was going to and I said I didn't know yet since I left the band. The band. I haven't been around them lately since the scene with Kyle.

Besides, mom wants me to be a psychologist just like her. I'm probably gonna dismiss about Taylor's college request and said that I'd think about it. Honestly, I'm definitely not ready for college talk. I still have a good four months of high school left. That's enough time, I guess. I really need to get a tutor for AP Psych, seriously. If I fail this class my mom will kill me.

hey Dan

do you think Sky would be available to help me with psych?

I'll pay her since she's good at it

dude, I gave you her number

why don't you ask her?

she may say no

Or she may know that I'm the one texting her

so I was hoping I could get your help

we'll see what I can do

***

He didn't respond. Is he really moving on? He's gone now?

Why would you care?

I didn't. But this is so aggravating. I'm embarrassed of myself for confessing everything and he just ignores me?

Who am I kidding? Of course, he'd leave. It's my fault. I told him I needed space and now he's giving me all the space I wanted.

But it's only been eleven days or maybe he didn't really like me or there's another girl. A girl who's pretty, smart, sweet, and million times better than me. Who understands him and makes him happy?

Fuck this shit, I miss him. I miss having someone to talk and makes me laugh. Things have been so boring and quiet since he's gone.

Congrats for pushing him away Sky, you've made a good decision in your life stupid girl.

He doesn't miss me I get it. I don't deserve a millionth chance.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and open my contacts up. I click 'Bae' and tap edit and delete contact.

Is this the end? If he's moving on then so am I. I'm not wasting my time waiting for somebody who's never coming back.

I miss him like crazy

I delete his number

I hate him so much

please listen to me, don't judge

what?

I deleted his number.. you know.. the texter..

he didn't answer my apology

it makes me feel like pure shit

I think like him so much ya' know

I have to take a shit

and you're blocking my asshole

: gross

;))

**

It's been three days today and still no respond. I'm sure she's happy right now with that guy Nate or something like that. He seems like a nice guy. He isn't annoying or mean. She doesn't hate him and he probably doesn't mess up like me.

God, I wish she'd just reply and tell me she had her phone service cut off and that I was being overly dramatic about this whole situation. Because right now I'm thinking the worst.

hey babe

hang out today?

I have psych test I need to study

maybe tomorrow?

: tomorrow's Wednesday

and?

I thought you'd be practicing

: I quit the band, I guess

Ok Wednesday. Promise?

yeah

did you talk to that Sky girl again?

I checked your phone four days ago

I thought you blocked her?

yeah

Really? Why'd she's still there?

btw I blocked her for you

She's not being serious, right? Is that why SKy not responding? She doesn't know I sent her the text.

What if she's been trying to text me this whole damn time? I'm so annoyed. Livid.

thanks babe

really?

yeah

and if you want to help me even more

you can jump off a cliff

love you so much babe

please don't talk to me again, that'll be the second biggest help

you'll be crawling back Alex

as soon as that loser know you're a shitty boyfriend

: or you'll realize what a loser she is

you're gonna regret it and miss me

nahh

I'd rather be slowly burned

you'll never be more than a side hoe

love you

typo's oops

I hate you

When I search for Sky's name in my contact I didn't see it.

I think I deleted it when I got mad yesterday. I'm screwed for heaven's sake.

hey

um can I have Hayley's number?

BRUHH

SHE'S MINE

or you would like to sacrifice yourself

DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT HER WHEN I'M DESPERATELY TRYING TO WIN SKY

I just need her help

: chill out bruhh that was a jk

Dan text me Hayley's number and I send her a message.

hey

it's Alex

I need you to do me a favour

could you give me Sky's number?

why?

you LIKE HER?

can you sense the jealousy in me? Lol jk

I just need help for psych

: ok hold on

When I received Sky's number I take a deep breath and put her number back in my contact list.

I'm a loss of words and I don't even know what to say. Deep breaths, Alex, smooth.

how am I supposed to start? I know this could be the million times, but I'm so sorry Sky.

I accidentally deleted your number and I couldn't find it anywhere and I had to ask somebody for it.

I've sent these message three days ago apologizing and stuff but they didn't go through for some reason

Taylor actually blocked you.

I'm really, really sorry for everything Sky. I might suck at making you feel better when you're down

but I'm never going to give up. You can push me away 100 times but I'll come back 1000 times because I love you so much

having these days without you have been so dull and boring. I miss talking to you. You make me happy

please forgive me Sky

If only you know that I can't move on

: you mean the world to me.. I know this sound so dead cheezy as fuck

but I am ridiculously in love with you Skylar Rose Thomson

**

I want to scream, I want to jump, and I want to cry. He misses me. He loves me. Finally, he texted me. But do I feel better? It's been eleven days I've been waiting. But I don't know what to say now. I deleted his number, I felt like that was my last attempt. But here he is and he misses me and I'm just at a loss of words.

I'm sorry too

and I missed you so much

tbh I don't think I'm ready back for this

it's stressing me out

I thought you'd be gone forever

since I thought you ignored my apology

I never got your message!

please Sky

I didn't reply to his text because I'm at the store. I need junk food for my long night of Netflix and tears.

I walk down the first aisle scanning for anything good to eat.

I grab a Pepsi off the shelf and place it in the basket and other junk food.

God, I am so hungry I could brought all the junk food in this store if I could.

"Sky?" I frown and turn my head to the right.

I recognize that voice.

I hate that voice.