I was sweating a puddle on the floor, my lungs constricting against my chest as I held my breath as my heart lurched to my throat when I heard shuffling on the other side of the door. During the time I had been waiting for a response I had considered cowering away, at the moment I really wished I had ran out of the door to the confines of my room when I had the chance.

"What?" Holden's angry voice startled me, if I was nerves before I was goddamn terrified now. I was practically shaking, my eyes clouding over due to the luck of air circulation in my head. I knew he wouldn't want to see me! the annoying voice in my head said. I however drugged in a breath, painfully forcing it through my lungs as I tightly shut my eyes, unsuccessfully trying to compose myself. Prying my eyes open I willed them to meet his deep grey ones. I was surprised to find them softening, his anger fading away but the hardness of his features remained as his full lips spread into a thin line.

"Um...c- could I come in?" I mumbled, stumbling over my words as I redirected my eyes to the tiled floor. He just stood there unmoving as he peered at me, his stare burning every inch they touched. Thinking he might have not heard me I prepared myself to repeat my request but stopped when I noticed him opening the door rather hesitantly. I could still feel his eyes burning holes on the back of my head as I shuffled past his large built into the room, my eyes subconsciously running over the interior.

The last time I had been here I hadn't quite had the chance to taken it in, I was either too disoriented or trying to ran away from him. Now that I had a chance to look around I noticed how clean and organised it was for a collage guy but it was also cold with no personified item, it didn't look like someone lived in it.

His blue walls went well with his brown minimalistic furniture, his queen sized bed was strategically placed at the center of the room, a large window pouring light on to it. His reading desk was at one corner of the room, random books strewn across it as completely stocked built in shelves sat above it.

He had a large dresser that was pushed against one wall, over all the room was clean and neat but very blunt and cold, like his demeanour. The only personal item I could see was a framed picture of a grinning woman, probably around her late thirties. Brown her fell around her shoulder, framing her heart shaped faces some falling into her eyes. Her eyes looked so much like Holden's only the grey in hers seemed livelier as she smiled brightly showcasing her immaculate set of teeth. I couldn't help but notice how tired she looked behind the bright smile though.

A throat being cleared wrenched me out of my deep thoughts, I quickly turned around, my head clashing with a wall of muscles. Strong arms immediately wrapped around my waist aiding in preventing me from tumbling to the ground and giving me a sense of déjà vu. Had I been so consumed inside my head that I didn't even noticed him moving closer to me. My cheeks flared as I shyly met his eyes, the intensity in them was nerve wrenching but this time they didn't look desolate, an emotion I couldn't label flickered in them.

"Um...s- she's very beautiful" I mumbled as I hastily composed myself, creating some distance between us. I had put almost a foot like distance between us but I could still feel the heat of his hands on me. This is why I needed to keep away from him, he wasn't good for my heart.

"Yeah" was his somber response, his face clouded over, a hint of sadness lacing in his eyes.

"I- I came to apologize" I said watching his face for a reaction, it morphed into a blank wall, almost bored. I continued nonetheless wanting to rid my chest of the feeling of guilt.

"How I acted Monday was rude and uncalled for...I'm sorry. Your not a stranger to me, you helped me a lot Friday and I don't want to think of the outcome of the situation if you hadn't stepped in, i- its just that I've been through this before and things only got worse when the police got involved. Holden I don't want people to pity me, I don't want to be the girl everyone feels sorry for again" tears had began welling in my eyes at the memory from two years ago, I tried to hide them from him but it was no use.

He is expressionless face flattered, shifting to on of rage when I mentioned that it had happened to me before but never sympathetic which I was immensely thankful for. He sighed as his steel eyes completely lost their hardness before speaking in a softness I didn't know he possessed.

"I was at fault too, I shouldn't have pressured you to do something you clearly were uncomfortable with" I was completely blown away when he bowed his head slightly in shame, even though he had nothing to be sorry about. It was inevitable really, how could my attraction to him not grow that much more at how humble he was being? I'm only human.

"Its completely fine, it wasn't your fault you just wanted to help" I said wanting to ease his guilt "can we call a truce and start over?" the words came out of my mouth without warning and my cheeks immediately heated up further. I was just about to retract my words when I heard his steel voice mutter a quiet 'sure'.

After that no one said anything and I had started to get nervous again, my eyes bouncing around the room. I settled on the framed picture of the beautiful woman again, I was itching to ask who she was but I had no right so I wisely zipped my mouth.

"Are you going to tell anyone what happened?" Holdens deep voice vibrated diverging my attention from the picture once again.

"I can't. C- could we um...keep this between us?" His eyes remained hooded as he nodded slightly, not asking any questions.

The awkward tension was back as we both just stood there, none of us speaking as I shuffled my feet soundlessly.

"I should go" I finally muttered having already done what I had come to do, I had no more business here and I would probably faint from the constriction in my lungs. I turned raised my eyes to meet Holden, finding him deep in thought, his mouth twitching as though he wanted to say something.

I had just reached for the door handle when he finally spoke.

"Will you come...to the game?" He asked while scratching the nape of his neck his eyes not meeting mine. He almost looked nervous which was honestly laughable seeing as he was the intimidating one out of the both of us and I was practically shaking.

"come" he said probably mistaking my silence first hesitance. My lips moved without my accord muttering a small okay as I sloppily wrenched the door open practically running down the hall. My heart admittedly felt lighter, no longer drowning in guilt.

I should probably feel bad about how first I had accepted Holden's offer of attending the football game when I had denied Avery's requests the whole day. I pushed the thought at the back of my head making my way towards the main door

This time my trip out wasn't interrupted and I smoothly made it to the front porch. The walk towards the dorm was relaxing, the breeze cooling my heated skin nicely. It didn't take long to reach my destination. I could immediately feel the excitement of people once I walked into the door building as they talked animatedly about the game. I shuffled my way past the mass of people to get to my room, needing the emotional support of my bed.

"So did you guys kiss and make up already?" Avery said the second I stepped into the room.

"No! When talked that was it" I had gotten used to Avery's straight forwardness now but she always seemed to speak her mind and I didn't know whether to be happy about it or not.

"I bet he wanted to" she said while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"I don't think he sees me like that" I was a full blown tomato with how hot my cheeks had become, the thought of Holden's lips on mine did something to my insides.

"Trust me, he wanted to, your like the first girl his looked at without indifference in the past two years. Don't argue with me I've known him longer" she added once I made a move to interrupt her.

"Okay since you guys are all good, will you come to the game?" I blushed harder, I knew if I agreed she would notice my swift change of heart "oh my god! He asked you to come to his game!...what? Am I supposed to be a 6 foot brooding guy so you could agree to things" her arms folded across her chest as she stared at me in mock anger.

"You know what? You can favour your man all you want, am just happy your going to the game!" Avery exclaimed as a pleased expression flitted onto her face "Your very stubborn you know" she huffed as she flopped exaggeratedly onto her bed.

"Anyway this is going to be grate, your first ever football game!" she exclaimed looking more exited than I felt. I still had no clue what football actually entailed and the thought of attending a game without Blake was still foreign.

We later changed into clothes that would show our school spirit as per Avery's insistence. She wore one of her brothers old Jerseys and a pair of cut of denim shorts, while I opted for a much simpler look retaining my black leggings but swapping my shirt for the red and gold school shirt my mother has insisted on buying during orientation. Avery had practically forced me into the shirt, a mischievous look in her eyes as she mumbled something about it being perfect.