2 years ago

He rubbed the aching muscles at his nape. He had been working robustly for the last week, determined to implement the new marketing strategy that would boost the market share in the Irish halal meal products. Now as it was Friday evening, he wanted to lose himself in a hot shower and then sleep for endless hours. But his plans were not to be betide.

The shrill of the phone irritated him and his forehead creased. Exhaled, he answered his young cousin Usamah's call, "Daud Bhai?"

"Hmmm..." he replied closing his eyes and rubbing his temple.

"What you up to night?"

"No plans. Going to bed," He mumbled tiredly.

"There is this girl I really want to take out for dinner but she says she would only go on a double date if her friend comes along. I would have asked Fahd but he is married now. So.... I was wondering?" Usamah asked hopefully.

His lips stretched to a lazy smile, "Fix someone else with the poor girl. I am definitely not going to forego my sleep for some random girl."

"Bhai, please. Just once. You know I never ask you for favours," beseeched Usamah fervently.

Taking a cigarette from the box, he rolled it in his fingers, "Usamah who the hell is this woman? I don't want some random old woman to entertain all night."

"Actually, it's quiet contrary to what you are thinking. She just turned 20 and is studying at a local college. She is a very shy type and bookish."

He cringed hearing the description. "Too young. You know what, you sound very enthusiastic, why don't you go out with the two women? You will have a blast then." Daud muttered with the cigarette on his lips ready to light it.

"Bhai my girl will not agree. Okay only for two hours? What you say?"

He sighed heavily, "Fine just once. Do you hear me? Never again. No more blind dates."

"Promise. Pakka wala (sincere promise)," Usamah chuckled and Daud shook his head at his youngest counsin's silliness.

An hour later after a quick shower, Daud headed to a local Irish restaurant where Usamah was waiting with the girls. He was not looking forward to the evening at all. He had drawn a picture of a woman with gawky looks – big black rimmed thick glasses, fat and with loads of freckles. But he was wrong. Very wrong.

Usamah was standing with a red haired girl beside him waiting for their table at the entrance of the restaurant. There was another woman standing near them and he presumed was the woman in question. The light brown haired petite woman was observing a Romanticism painting hanging on the wall. Her back was to him so he couldn't gauge much of her appearance except at least she wasn't fat. But when she turned, he had stilled in talking to Usamah as he gaped at the girl in front of him. She was young no doubt about that. She was beautiful and definitely very shy. She wasn't able to meet his gaze. Her long brown hair with blond streaks framed her heart shaped face encompassing high cheekbones and luscious lips. When she did lift her thick eyelashes, he was lost. Her captivating grey eyes met his. He smiled a little in greeting but she hastily looked away.

Before Usamah could introduce them, Daud stepped forward and offered his hand, "Hi I am Daud."

She gazed at him and then at his outstretched hand, timidly her soft small hand slipped into his and he gripped it firmly. Her eyes widening slightly, "Hi I am Susan."

The two couples had dined at a table of four. It was formal dining with three-course meal. It had given ample time and opportunity for Daud to learn about the woman.

"So you read books?" Daud asked digging into his salad.

"Yes." She replied.

"What do you read then?" It was difficult to converse with her. She was very quiet and only answered his questions briefly.

"Classics mostly and some contemporary books too."

"So what is your favourite book?" he asked, sipping from his Club Orange drink (Irish orange flavoured soft drink).

"Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights."

He nearly choked on his drink at her response. Here, he was thinking she would say the more popular contemporary books that were the rage among young women these days such as The Fifty Shades of Grey. But this woman was really living in a different century altogether. This didn't stop him from admiring her beauty. She was gorgeous, if only she was more outgoing, he would have been more interested in her.

When the dinner was completed, Usamah suggested to go to a friend's party. Daud was in no mood for any wild parties. He was tired and even though the evening had been pleasant, he was still looking forward to his slumber. He had offered to drop Susan to her home. The drive to her home was quiet and he could tell she was nervous as she continued to fiddle with her handbag shoulder strap.

Susan never dated. She never took any interest in boys. They always thought she was weird. When Lisa had suggested a blind date, she had clearly declined but Lisa had her persuasive ways. Her speech had been annihilated, her hands were perspiring and her heart beat had accelerated when Daud had spoken to her for the first time. Never in her wildest dreams, had she dreamt of a handsome and confident man spending time with her. She was tongue tied all evening but she couldn't resist stealing glances at his striking appearance. He was so tall and she was only 5'4 but she had always been attracted to tall men.

"Thank you for the evening. I had a great time," she whispered and turned around to leave from the car. She didn't want this memorable evening to end so soon, she changed her mind and hesitantly looked at him over her shoulder, "You want to come over for tea or coffee?"

His eyebrows had risen and he nodded slightly.

They walked side by side to her flat. She was tensed. Why had she called him to her home? She had never done such a reckless act before. She lived in a small studio flat. It was neat and tidy and a colourful décor with her paintings and books were seen everywhere in the small flat. Daud quietly observed her home in silence. While she fretted and moved to the kitchen area, "What would you like to drink?" Grabbing the electric kettle to fill it with tap water but his hand on her wrist arrested her.

Her thick eyelashes rose, revealing her anxious grey eyes. His smouldering blue eyes bore into hers as he slowly pried the kettle away from her fingers, "I think we both know what we want and it's definitely not coffee or tea."

She gulped unable to react, when he pulled her closer. She was about to clarify that this is not what she meant but his lips softly brushed hers. A gasp escaped her agape lips. Taking that as a positive sign, he kissed her passionately. She felt dizzy, her hands resting on his chest. She wasn't able to kiss him back. She had never been kissed, well if she didn't count how an eager hormonal teen boy had kissed her sloppily in Junior Cert (High school).

Daud was experienced, he slowly led her to respond to his kisses and when she did, his arms tightened around her arms. Minutes later she broke off for air, her mind was numb and her body in fire. Her hands had tightened around his neck, when he lifted her and took her to bed. Laying her on the bed, he hovered over her and continued his passionate kisses.

She had been lonely for too long. Her parents were dead. Her brother was a drug addict, lost in his own world. She had no friends except for Lisa. Her true companions were her books. And when this beautiful man in her arms kissed her and touched her with such fervent need, she just wanted to feel. Experience these sensual emotions. Closing her eyes, she let the whirlpool of desires take over her.

An hour later, Daud gazed at the sunset painting on the wall beside the small double bed. His hands were crossed under his head on the pillow. What had gotten into him to plunge into his desires this way? He had never slept with a woman in just first meeting. Worse, since he last broke off with his girlfriend two months ago, he wasn't carrying any protection with him. He had meant to pull out but he just couldn't. Shutting his eyes, he tried to reason with himself. It had been long and that is why he was so wild. He couldn't blame her. She was an innocent. Her bed sheet was the proof of that.

Glancing at her, he sighed heavily. She was laying on her side with her hands under her head, gazing at him. The duvet was tucked under her arm covering her breasts. His fingers lightly grazed her bare arm and he could see how goose bumps erupted on her skin. She may be novice but she sure was responsive and eager to learn.

"Why didn't you tell me?" his husky voice shattered the silence in the flat.

"Tell you what?" she replied hoarsely.

"That this was your first time." his blue eyes probed hers.

She flushed and lowered her eyelids, "I .. I .. wasn't able to think much."

He liked her honesty. Even though, he should have just left now but he couldn't bring himself to. He had to have one more taste of this young naïve woman. Clutching her arm tightly, he pulled her to him. The duvet slipped, his arm wound around her naked waist and again he started his passionate onslaughts.

It was early morning when Daud dressed to leave. But he had to clear any kind of misunderstandings.

"Thank you for last night. But I am not looking for any relationship. I have my career to focus on right now." He tried to be as gentle as possible.

Her smile slipped away and gloominess clouded her grey eyes. Daud hastily turned around. He didn't want to hurt her. Dada jaan was on the verge of announcing the new chairperson and he was working his ass off to impress him. He really wouldn't be able to handle a relationship. He didn't want any distractions towards his ultimate goal. When his hand touched the doorknob, he hesitated. There was still one big issue left between them. He spun around and solemnly asked, "You are not on the pill, I assume?"

She slowly shook her head.

He nodded thoughtfully, and then said, "I will give you my number. If anything happens just call me."

And it did happen...

****

A month later, she nervously perched on her bed with a pregnancy test in her hands. Tears trickled down her eyes. How was she going to raise a baby on her own? She was only 20 years old and still a university student. She had little income by working part time in the local bookstore. Daud had never once called her in the last one month. She was scared to tell him. He would probably brush her off. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply, calming her heart. It was a futile effort. She just couldn't stop worrying.

Hours spent by and all she did was sit dazedly, as tears continued to flow. The only question that kept swirling in her mind. Should she tell Daud? After great thinking, she finally dialled his number. Her fluttering heart was beating in maddening speed. And when his rich thick voice sounded on the phone, fresh tears filled her eyes.

"Hello?"

She pursed her lips, trying her to control her emotions. This man had taken her innocence and next morning casually had kissed her goodbye. She was letting go her ego and self-esteem by calling him. What other choice she had?

"Hello Daud," she breathed.

There was silence on the other hand. She worried he may cancel the call.

"Susan?"

It was astonishing he still remembered her name. This was a good sign, "Yes" her voice a mere whisper.

There was an eerie silence. No one spoke. They both knew why she called. Many minutes passed.

"You are pregnant." Daud said it out loud.

She whimpered, she wasn't able to reply to him.

He heard her, his heart tugging at her silent sobs. Running his hand over his hair, "I will be at your home in the evening after work."

He sat still after ending the call, staring blindly around his office. He couldn't marry her or even continue his relationship with her. He didn't want to make the same mistake as his father. This will have to be a secret. A secret that will burden him forever. A secret he will protect with his being.

That evening when Daud entered her home. She wasn't the same woman, he had seen a month ago. She looked weary and lost. He had to be honest with her. He was not going to give her any false hopes.

"I will take all the financial responsibility of this child. I want you to give me your bank details and I will transfer monthly payments to your account." His gaze roamed around the tiny flat, "I want you to move out of this flat too. It is too small with the baby. I will purchase an apartment for you and I want you to stay there, ok?"

Her tear stained cheeks and desolate eyes made him feel guilty but her next words hit him hard in his heart, "Money isn't everything a child needs. A child needs a mother and a father."

He wasn't able to meet her eyes, he whirled around. "I am sorry but this is all I can offer."

With that he left. Never to come for the next nine months. She endured the pregnancy pains and discomforts on her own. Crying herself to sleep and spending endless days in agony, despair and loneliness.

But there was one new book she had started reading during her pregnancy. The Quran. She had started reading it as she was curious about Daud's religion. But as she read on, she felt her heart at peace. She read and tried to understand through the English translation and even read the commentary on some verses she didn't understand much.

The next time she heard his voice was a week before her due date.

"When are you due?" he asked when he called her.

"Next week," she murmured.

"Which hospital are you going to?"

"Holles Street."

"Do you want me to be there?"

There was no point of him being there. When he plans to abandon them again, "No"

"Okay then let me know when the baby is born."

She tightly clenched her eyes shut. There were no tears left. She was an emotional mess during these past months. Glancing at the Quran she opened the Chapter on Mary the mother of Jesus. This was her favourite chapter. She had nearly memorized the lines.

And mention in the Book (the Qur'ân, O Muhammad SAW , the story of) Maryam (Mary), when she withdrew in seclusion from her family to a place facing east (16) She placed a screen (to screen herself) from them; then We sent to her Our Ruh [angel Jibril (Gabriel)], and he appeared before her in the form of a man in all respects. (17) She said: "Verily! I seek refuge with the Most Gracious (Allâh) from you, if you do fear Allâh." (18) (The angel) said: "I am only a messenger from your Lord, (to announce) to you the gift of a righteous son." (19) She said: "How can I have a son, when no man has touched me, nor am I unchaste?" (20)He said: "So (it will be), your Lord said: 'That is easy for Me (Allâh): And (We wish) to appoint him as a sign to mankind and a mercy from Us (Allâh), and it is a matter (already) decreed, (by Allâh).' " (21) So she conceived him[], and she withdrew with him to a far place (i.e. Bethlehem valley about 4-6 miles from Jerusalem). (22) And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a date-palm. She said: "Would that I had died before this, and had been forgotten and out of sight!" (23) Then [the babe 'Īsā (Jesus) or Jibril (Gabriel)] cried unto her from below her, saying: "Grieve not! Your Lord has provided a water stream under you; (24) "And shake the trunk of date-palm towards you, it will let fall fresh ripe-dates upon you." (25) "So eat and drink and be glad, And if you see any human being, say: 'Verily! I have vowed a fast unto the Most Gracious (Allâh) so I shall not speak to any human being this day.'" (26) Then she brought him (the baby) to her people, carrying him. They said: "O Mary! Indeed you have brought a thing Fariyy (a mighty thing). (27) "O sister (i.e. the like) of Hârûn (Aaron) []! Your father was not a man who used to commit adultery, nor your mother was an unchaste woman." (28)Then she pointed to him. They said: "How can we talk to one who is a child in the cradle?[]" (29) "He ['Īsā (Jesus)] said: Verily! I am a slave of Allâh, He has given me the Scripture and made me a Prophet;[]" (30) "And He has made me blessed wheresoever I be, and has enjoined on me Salât (prayer), and Zakât, as long as I live." (31) "And dutiful to my mother, and made me not arrogant, unblest. (32) "And Salâm (peace) be upon me the day I was born, and the day I die, and the day I shall be raised alive!" (33) Such is 'Īsā (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary). (it is) a statement of truth, about which they doubt (or dispute) (34) [Quran 19: 16 – 34].

Alone in the labour room she had suffered the bone wrenching labour pains. Her only assistants were the midwives gently encouraging her. But her faith had rebounded. She now knew, she wasn't alone God was there to protect her. He was there for her baby and her. And eventually, she gave birth to a boy. Her boy. Her love. She had clutched him to heart and wept in anguish, silently praying he gets the love of both his parents.

That evening, Daud sauntered in the maternity hospital general ward. She had been breastfeeding the bundle of joy in her arms. She flushed and covered herself and in respect he averted his gaze. He had done enough to hurt this young woman. He had no intentions to hurt her further. His gaze flickered to the baby on her lap. He was awestruck at how much the baby resembled him. He had dragged this woman and his child in his complicated life. How he wished he could have not committed the sin that night. He had to distance himself from them, for their sake and his.

"What did you name him?" he asked gazing down at the sleeping new born baby.

"Yousef."

She had decided this name after reading the story of how Prophet Yousef was described as the most handsome man in the Quran. Her son was an exact replica of his father except for the light brown hair which he had been gifted from her genes. To her, the father of her son was the most beautiful man, she had ever laid eyes on. So, the name was the most appropriate for the baby.

His startled gaze met hers. He had originally thought to suggest the baby be Muslim but not in his wildest imaginations he deduced she would give him a Muslim name.

"I was thinking, he should be a Muslim."

Her eyes lowered to their son. For the first time in months, a small smile graced her lips. She wanted her son to be a Muslim. She had no reservations to that.