Susan took a deep breath, I can do this. Gazing at the Arabic alphabets on the small Du'aa (supplication) book, Susan tightened her hold on it as she stood in the direction of the Qiblah. A shiver went down her spine and goose bumps rose the tiny hair on her arm under the long sleeve dress she was wearing. She raised her arms, hands palms facing forward and slight above her shoulders, she murmured,

"Allah – o – Akbar" (Allah is the greatest).

An arm curved over her chest while the other hand held the small book in front of her as she recited the first surah (chapter) of Quran in the Salah (obligatory prayer). It had been three days since she had reverted to Islam. She was still getting a hang of praying the daily five salah. The difficult part was the pronunciation of Arabic words. The foreign language was very new to her, much different than her native English language. She was far away from learning the verses but she was still putting all her efforts in reciting. She was praying all her daily prayers but it was taking much longer. Ideally, a Muslim is to memorize all the supplications and surah that are recited in the Quran but she was still a beginner. It was all so overwhelming but she never gave up.

As days passed by, she learned why the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him) had remarked that coolness of the eyes lies in the prayer. Every time she went down to prostration, her heart would weep and her eyes moistened. She truly believed Allah was listening to her. With every prayer, her belief strengthened that Allah was there for her.

[Quran 50: 16].

Indeed, Allah knew what was hidden in the heart. The peace she had been seeking was finally manifested. Her feelings for present and future were slowly transforming. Because now she had Tawaqal Allah (putting trust in Allah).

"." [Quran 65:3].

As she completed her salah and lifted her hands in supplication, her heart knew the Lord of the Worlds was there to protect her and listen to her pleas. Tears escaped, hands raised, heart crying, lips moving, her soul was at sheer peace as she asked the One who would always listen to her.

"." [Quran 2: 152].

She may be alone in this world. No one to turn to. But for a believer, her Lord was sufficient.

." [Quran 8:19].

****

In the darkened apartment, Daud lay on his side curled under the duvet. His was throbbing in fervid pain. It hurt immensely. But the sweet memory of seeing Salman suffer was sufficient enough for Daud to smile even in his suffering. The pain killers weren't enough for his pain to numb. Sleep was impossible. He was indecisive whether to take sleeping pills so he can rest well. The last few days had gone in agony as the wounds hadn't healed as fast as he expected them to.

In the silent bleak house, he heard footsteps. His eyes opened in alert staring at the bedroom door. The door knob slowly twisted, the person he least expected was standing in front of him. His mother. He shut his eyes tightly. He had no energy to talk to anyone especially answer his mother's inquisitions.

But Chloe wasn't here for answers. She knew it all. Adil had made sure Ibrahim was well aware of his son's deeds. The news had left Ibrahim and Chloe flabbergasted. It was hard to digest the fact that their son had taken grave measures all for the sake of revenge. The mess that Daud had created was no secret anymore. She closed the gap between herself and the bed.

With sadness lurking in her eyes, she spoke softly, "I never expected this out of you."

He swallowed ready to defend himself but Chloe went on, "You have disappointed me, Daud."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, hands on the bed, he sat up clumsily. Chloe's hands curled on her side not giving in to help her injured son.

"I did it for you, Mum." He said hoarsely seeing the anger sparking in those blue eyes that were so similar to his.

"No Daud you didn't," she shook her head and stepped back. Pointing at his chest to emphasize her argument, "You did it for your ego."

His jaw clenched, "That's not true. All my life I have seen how each and everyone in the family treated you. I wanted to show them what it feels to hurt someone deeply."

She cocked an eyebrow, not believing a word he uttered. "Did you ever hear me complain about anything? I never cared how they treated me. Your father's love and support was sufficient for me." Crossing her arms over her chest she tilted her head, "What about Nawal? What did she do to deserve all this?"

His eyes lowered. He wasn't able to meet his mother's gaze. He was cognizant of how he had pulled Nawal in this deadly battle. He regretted it. But it was too late.

"You have nothing to defend yourself, do you?" she instigated him.

"In a war, not only the soldiers die but so do civilians." He muttered, his head still bowed down.

"How could you Daud? This isn't a war. You ruined a woman's life. Do you know what Salman did?" When there was no response from Daud, she announced the events of the last few days, "He divorced her."

His head shot up and stared at his mother in disbelief. He wasn't able to verbalize his shock. He was wholly speechless. He had never imagined to Salman to react so strongly.

"She is pregnant." She licked her lower lip in stress, "Daud you tore apart a family. The child may never know the father." Tears formed in her eyes, "This is not what I had taught you."

She spun around to leave the room. When she reached the threshold of the bedroom, she said her final words over her shoulders, "I must have done some serious mistake in upbringing you. Clearly, there was something lacking. My son who would have followed my teachings would never have done this."

He heard the main door to the apartment closing. In the empty apartment he contemplated. His fingers found the cigarette packet in the bedside drawers. He lit the cigarette and inhaled the familiar smoke. Closing his eyes, savouring the sensation.

A bloody mess. The situation was way out of hand now.

Minutes passed to an hour. One cigarette turned two and then three. That is when an idea generated. It was the best solution. There was no other option. He rubbed the cigarette butt on the dirty ashtray. His bruised face was grim but his eyes had lit up with hope.

It was time for the last phase of his plan.

****

The full moon was brightly shining in the dark winter night sky. Gazing at the moon that was peeking behind the barren winter trees, Nawal was lost in her thoughts. Days had passed by but there was no sign of Salman. He was going to work very early even before she woke up and he was coming back very late when she was asleep due to exhaustion. It was difficult to stay up waiting for him due to her condition. The baby was making its presence and there were visible changes in her. She was easily getting tired and would be asleep in no time. But with the growing baby, the stress level was escalating. What will happen about her now? What about the baby?

Seema continued to reassure Nawal that all will be alright and she had to be patient. Adil and Muhammad ignored her completely. As for Manal, she was too busy in her own world. Her parents never called her again asking about her. She wondered if her brothers were informed of what had transpired as they never called. Probably they were disgusted by her as well, a sardonic smile spread her lips. She deserved it all.

Tonight, she would approach Salman alone. Perhaps, in the quietness of the night, his anger will fade away. The days might have lessened the strength of his fury. Here she was waiting for him in the kitchen. Holding a plate of the chocolate chip cookies she had baked him, she went up to the room that once she shared with her husband.

It was the irony of the situation, there was a time she abhorred staying in this room with him but today she craved to be back where she belonged beside him. Her heart plummeting. She pressed lips together. No tonight, she will be stronger. No more tears. She had to softly tell him to look beyond what he saw. Coax him in trusting her. Hopefully, he will forgive her.

But she didn't have to wait long as she heard footsteps making their way on the stairs. She held her breath and moved backward beside the curtains. How she wished she could hide behind the curtains. She was no coward. She was ready to face him. Most of all, she was doing this for their baby. A baby that was conceived out of love. She could easily confess this to herself now.

She cared. The relationship mattered to her.

The separation from him was aching her way more than she could have imagined. She knew well he cared too. He was devastated because she meant something to him. She was going to prove that she meant to work this relationship with him now.

He entered the room with heavy footsteps. There were dark circles under his eyes. His messy hair indicated how many times he had run his hands through them. A habit he had when he was in deep thoughts. He threw his coat and file on the bed when he stilled. His eyes darted at her and his jaw clenched.

"Get out."

She pulled away from the wall where she was cowering in nervousness. "Not tonight."

"You have no right to be here."

Her eyes beseeched with his as she slowly traced her steps towards him. He looked away in frustration. He didn't want to see those eyes anymore. It hurt too much.

"I am sorry. I really am. I promise I will never talk to him or any other guy ever again."

His jaw clenched further and the muscles on his temple convulsed.

"Give me one chance." Her voice lowered to a whisper, "I promise you, I won't let you down again."

She took the last step towards him. Their bodies only inches away. He paralysed, her familiar scent invading his senses. He didn't want her near him but the memories of being together were so powerful. Hesitantly, she raised her hand and touched his beard-roughened cheek. He grew rigid. She slowly turned his face so that their eyes meet.

"Just once. Please."

His eyes roved around her face. Her deep hopeful eyes. Her pointing nose and when his eyes lingered on her lips, another image rushed back on his mind. A tormenting memory that flooded back thousand times in a day.

Daud kissing her.

He lifted his eyes to hers, "Do you know when there is a crack at the mirror and it can never be fixed again. Trust is as fragile as a mirror. There is a crack in our relationship which will never be fixed anymore. You lost your chance Nawal."

He pulled away and strode out of the room without a backward glance.

Her lower lip wobbled and tears trailed down her cheeks. She heaved, shoulders slumped, and she made her way downstairs to the guest room when Manal's voice stopped her.

"Do you have no shame? No self-respect?" she scoffed.

Nawal stilled on the stairs and her hand tightly held on to the wooden balustrade of the stairs. "You should have thought before you acted on your desires. No point in begging anymore." Manal further derided.

Nawal didn't turn to look at Manal but her words were like daggers hitting her heart. "Stay out of it Manal." She hissed.

"You are wasting your time. Bhai will never forgive you." She nonchalantly shrugged.

Nawal skidded down the stairs and rushed to the guest room. Locking the door, she leaned against it. She had become a spectacle for the family, a means for everyone to laugh at. Manal mocking words haunted her. With one wrong decision, she had lost all respect. Her own friend and cousin was not ready to understand her. In this struggle to mend her relationship, she was alone.

It was true, she could see an austere Salman who was very firm not ready to bend to her soft imploring. But, what should she do? Time was running fast. A week had passed and there was no progress.

As her eyes roamed around the room, she found the answer to her questions.

There was One who would always listen to her.

----------------------------