It takes skill and grace to navigate power and politics (dynamics that exist everywhere) to rise above the ranks.

1) Avoid Ostentation - don't brag. It will draw other people's envy to induce treachery.

2) Practice Nonchalance - never seem to be working too hard, so people will think you are brilliant rather than just a workaholic.

3) Be Frugal with Flattery - flattery should be subtle, or it will lose its value and bring about suspicion.

4) Arrange to Be Noticed - create a distinctive style and image

5) Alter Your Style and Appearance According to the Person You Are Dealing With - you may think that you should act the same way with everyone, but you may offend those above and feel condescending to those below you.

6) Never Be the Bearer of Bad News - the saying "don't shoot the messenger" is a cliche because it happens often

7) Never Affect Friendliness and Intimacy with Your Master - Your boss might be friendly with you, but they don't truly want a friend. Never forget the relationship.

8) Never Criticize Those Above You Directly - Advice or criticism to the top should be subtle and indirect.

9) Never Joke About Appearances or Taste - People find it distasteful, especially those above you.

10) Do Not be the Court Cynic - Nobody likes an always-negative person.

11) Be Self-Observant - Know what image you put out into the world. It is not the same as caring too much about what others think of you, but rather being intentional with how you put yourself out there.

12) Master Your Emotions - alternatively, you can be yourself at all times, for people will find you obnoxious and arrogant.

13) Fit the Spirit of the Times - Too much in the past and you become obsolete. Too much in the future and people don't understand you.

14) Be a Source of Pleasure - Be a pleasure to be around or at the very least control some of your more annoying tendencies. People will run from the unpleasant.

When I first entered the corporate world, I saw a lot of people succeed who seemed to be fake and walked all over others. People who didn't know what they were doing. Who couldn't be bothered to look up from their phone when you were meeting with them. If that was the game, I didn't think I could ever thrive.

Then I started to meet a few successful people who were kind to others. People who held onto their values, yet who were not blind to office politics. It gave me hope. What I saw is that they never did it alone.

That was a costly lesson for me to learn. Ostentation was my problem at the time. After years of struggle, things were finally going well for me. I got promoted at work and was no longer living paycheck to paycheck. And I got engaged. I talked about my life way too much, which was probably very annoying to everyone. My boss would praise me in front of the whole office, and nobody likes a teacher's pet. I was also working 10-12 hour days, so I was that workaholic setting bad expectations for everyone else.

My friends at work stopped inviting me to things. We used to watch GOT together every week and I knew the season wasn't over yet. At times, I could see them all leaving their desks to go to lunch at the same time, passing by me wordlessly. They ghosted me. When I took PTO to get married, one of my so-called friends was tasked to help with my workload. When I came back, I found out she didn't do any of it but instead turned in bogus guesswork on my behalf. It almost destroyed me to redo it all and my boss even had a talk with me about "letting things slip through the cracks".

It's tragic to see the manager who is out of the loop with employees or the person with good ideas that never gets taken seriously. To get further in life and your career, you need people on your side.