My critique mean no offense to the author nor story. These are solely intended for the betterment of your work, it does not mean to hurt nor belittle you as an author. If you have concerns regarding this critique, feel free to message me privately. Everything stated here came from my own opinion and perspective which may differ from others.

▪ The title seems intriguing, since society involves almost every individual. It actually piqued my interest since finally, someone is bold enough to write a story about our current society. But, does the story always revolves around the society? Because based on the first ten chapters that I've read, it seems like the "society" isn't much involved (will discuss later on). I also think that it's not necessary to uppercase all the letter in the title, because it looks exaggerated for me. Capitalizing the first letters in the two words are enough.

▪ The cover brings a fantasy vibe, thus it looks magical. I don't think putting a girl in the cover is right. Society ang topic na idi-discuss mo sa story, so dapat sa cover pa lang, ramdam na 'yon ng mga mambabasa. At isa pa, teen fiction ang iyong akda, hindi fantasy. I highly suggest you change your cover, because it doesn't match the contents of the story, nor does it look like a teen novel. Yes, they say don't judge a book by its cover. But in our society, outside appearances matter.

▪ Some words and sentences contradicts the point of the story, while some are not quite understandable.

▪ On the green-underlined one, after the "of a society", it would be great if you could explain why she despises the society's cruelty. But do not go overboard, just give some foreshadowings. As for the blue-underlined sentence, like what's stated above, be more clear and precise of what you're trying to say. Kasi nagko-contradict 'yong unang sentence sa ikalawa. How? You said she despises the society's cruelty, but why would she blind and deafen the people more? Isn't that a sign of hypocrisy? You do not need to use English if you think that you're not fluent with it, because doing that will do you no good. Gamitin mo ang lengguwahe kung saan ka komportable. Don't impress by using deep words, express your thoughts.

▪ I revised your story's description, but it's your choice whether you'll copy it or not.

She's a strong woman who despises society's cruelty (please indicate why). But is she really able to blind and deafen people who are still full of unfair thoughts?

Furthermore...

What would her response be to those individuals who have the opposite way of thinking about what is happening around them?

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"Society Strikes" is a teen novel that explores the world of judgment, early pregnancy, teen-drinking, addiction to technology, etc. to adolescence, and what is actually going on with youngsters who are not given a chance to give a plausible answer. So look forward to what effect society may have on other teenagers today.

▪ One more thing, why did you put "she" and not "he" in the description? It's really confusing because you put "she" in the description even though the chapters were all about Kenji's pov. I don't think it's right, kung si Akie talaga ang pinakabida mo, dapat sa kaniya ang pov, hindi kay Kenji. She has the spotlight in the description and yet the male lead has it on the chapters of the story, which is wrong if you'll ask me. Stick to one; his or her pov?

▪ This is one of the most important part of a story that an author must always keep in mind, and yet you lack it. Sa pinangyayarihan ng kuwento, importanteng ma-describe mo kung nasaan ba sila, anong naririnig, nakikita, naamoy, at nahahawakan nila. Kasi sobrang vague kapag basta mo lang sinabi na nasa bahay sila, o nasa paaralan. Kung sa tingin mong okay lang na sabihin ang ganoon, nagkakamali ka. Kasi baka isipin ng iba na hindi importante ang isang scene na importante para sa 'yo. The imagery of the story will be so vague in a reader's perspective. Because whenever a scenario flashes in your story and all you say is school or house, it's all blur in my mind.

▪ Use the five senses (sight, smell, taste, touch, sound) in describing a scene or place in the story. Try to put yourself in your character's situation. What do you see? What're its details? Does the scene occur in morning or afternoon? Do you hear something? Is it soothing in the ears or a complete nuisance? What do you smell? Is it heavenly or disgusting? What do you taste? What do you feel when you taste it? Do you feel cold, or hot? Try to widen your imagination to strengthen your story's world building. Create your own realistic world and do not let it be vague nor blur.

▪ Kulang din sa tone at mood ng bawat karakter. May mga dialogues kasi na parang pilit, parang walang ambag sa outline ng chapter. Same goes for the mood, you really lack it, that turns the characters to be vague. In every situation, always put the mood of your character. For example, sa part na hinarang ng isang gang si Kenji noong pauwi na siya galing school, hindi man lang ba siya kinabahan? Wala man lang ba siyang katakot-takot sa mga humarang sa kaniya? Wala man lang ba siyang thoughts kung ano ang puwedeng mangyari sa kaniya? Ang unrealistic lang na walang mood ang mga karakter mo. Hindi naman sila robots 'di ba? So bakit parang wala lang sa kanila 'yong mga nangyayari sa buhay nila? Again, try to put yourself in their situation. Hindi ba kakabahan ka kasi napalibutan ka ng mga estranghero? Hindi ba mag-o-overthink ka kung ano ang posibleng mangyari sa 'yo? Iparamdam mo sa mga readers ang pakiramdam kapag sila ang nasa sitwasyon ng mga karakter mo.

▪ He's a man and yet he acts immature and childish. Ito ang karaniwang problema lagi ng mga may-akda sa paggawa ng mga karakter nila, nagiging immature at childish. Napasok si Kenji sa isang university, so I'm guessing he's a senior high (since Akie's sixteen)? But why does his personality opposes his age? He doesn't seem like a "matured" guy at all, parang elementary siya kung mag-isip. Especially his thoughts when he has the pov in every chapter, the part where his older brother cursed, is that he's first time hearing those in a society like this? The way he acts turned me off to be honest. Make him act and think accordingly at his age (except if he has mental problems which I think is not), make him more reasonable in his acts and sayings. Also, the part wherein he reminisced something about his past, kulang iyong binigay mong curiosity. Give more foreshadowings on that part, to actually pique one's interest.

▪ Doon din sa part na unang encounter nila ni Akie sa may puno, ang rough noong pagshi-shift mo ng emotions at mood niya. Bago siya bumili, sinabi niya gamit ang pov niya na hindi siya sanay makipag-interact sa mga tao dahil hindi naman siya magaling doon. Pero bakit noong nagkita na sila ni Akie, parang walang bisa 'yong sinabi niya? In real life, ang mga taong hindi sanay makipagkaibigan ay kadalasang mahiyain, pero bakit si Kenji hindi ganoon? Kahit pa na sabihin mong komportable siya kay Akie or what, ang unrealistic lang pakinggan. Pati roon sa part na nilapitan siya nina Alex at Valline sa school, hindi gaanong napanghawakan ang ibinigay mong insight na hindi siya sanay makipag-usap sa tao. Alam mo 'yon? Parang ang casual lang ng dating sa kaniya sa mga nakakausap niya. Wala man lang hesitations or overthinkings. Read more stories or watch more movies that contains and focuses on emotions of the characters.

▪ Medyo vague sa akin ang dating ni Akie kasi hindi naman siya na-describe ni Kenji (appearances & thoughts about her) sa unang pagkikita nila and vice versa. Also her personality. Sa encounter nila ni Kenji, parang ang friendly pa niya dahil patawa-tawa lang siya but then on school, it's surprising to see that she's cold there. Kung siya talaga ang pinakabida mo sa akda mo, balance the spotlight between her and Kenji para hindi siya vague. Kasi hindi naman nasabi kung bakit iba ang pakikitungo niya kay Kenji at sa iba - is it because she's also comfortable with him? - kaya nagiging rough ang emotions niya at unreasonable ang kalalabasan ng karakter niya. At isa pa, bakit parang ang perfect niya naman masyado? Imagine, she won various of competitions and contests - that made her popular in her school - isn't that kind of unrealistic to see? In making a character, make sure that readers would be able to relate on them. 'Wag mong gawing masyadong ideal o perpekto ang isa kasi imposible namang magkaroon ng isang perpektong karakter sa isang teen novel.

▪ All of them were so vague and it feels like they just passed Kenji's life. Even though they're just side characters doesn't mean we don't have to focus on them. Every character is important in the story. On his mother and brother, the shifting of the emotions, especially on the part where they moved in. At first she was nice, and all, but all of a sudden, she became strict on the scene where Kenji's brother cursed. Be clear kung anong klaseng karakter ba talaga dapat sila. As for Kenji's brother (uh oh I forgot the name), he's really caring for his little brother and very witty. Maayos mo namang naipakita, kaso, hindi malakas 'yong pagkakahatak mo sa kaniya ng mga emosyon niya. Oo, ramdam ko 'yong pagiging mapagmalasakit niya sa kapatid niya pero walang emosyon. Kulang sa emosyon. Emotions must always be present.

▪ Moving on Alexandrius, at first, I honestly thought he was a girl. Kapag unang encounter pa lang ng bida sa mga karakter, please describe their outside appearances and their thoughts about them. Kasi hindi naman manghuhula ang mga mambabasa, so paano nila malalaman kung babae ba p lalaki 'yong kausap ng bida? Also, parang bigla lang siyang pinasok sa story, tapos ang mga dialogues niya parang pilit talaga. Please, do not use forced dialogues if you cannot think of any scenes or having a writer's block, because it'll make the characters unrealistic and bland. Saka ang pinagtataka ko lang, bakit sobrang fond niya kay Kenji? What did he see about him? Kasi Vice President siya, and that role is very important and known to be one of the most busiest one among students. And yet he has time to hangout with someone he just knew that day? Valline (sorry if I got it wrong) is also the same as Alex. Parang bigla lang din siyang pinasok tapos ang mga dialogues niya ang pinakapilit sa lahat. Lalo na sa scene na nasa cafeteria sila, iyong may ipinakilala siya kay Kenji, parang pilit. Kasi bakit niya ba ipinapakilala iyon kay Kenji? Anong point ang gusto mong iparating doon? May ambag ba ang pagpapakilala niya kay sa estudyante kay Kenji sa kabuon ng storya? If ever there was a point why she introduced the student to him, give some foreshadowings or hints why she did that.

▪ Specifically speaking for both of the characters namely Kenji and Akie, I didn't see any character development on them. Within the first ten chapters at least, a development of main characters must be shown. Kahit hindi sa main problem, puwedeng sa mga maliliit na issues lang kasi nagsisimula ka pa lang naman. Kasi hanggang sa chapter ten, wala akong nakitang development (not romantically but to their selves) sa kanila, na dapat ay naipakita na. Medyo mabagal din kasi ang pacing ng story (will discuss later on), kaya siguro walang development? Importante ang character development kasi roon maggo-grow ang mga karakter mo, roon nila mare-realize ang mga dapat at hindi dapat nilang gawin, doon puwedeng matuto ang mga mambabasa na kaya nilang mag-grow at puwede silang ma-inspire mula sa mga karakter mo. Now, how are you going to show their character development? You can choose from two options; either have a character development from the main conflict, or in smaller conflicts. Once you've chosen an option from the two, think thoroughly on what or how are you suppose to make a conflict rise within a specific chapter. Let your characters experience hardships (because everyone does), make them feel that there won't be any solution to the problems they're facing, as if it's the end of the world. You can do this within one to three chapters or more depending on you, but make sure to give some cliffhangers and suspense in every chapter, because you can kill two birds with one stone by doing it. Moving on, give them a light to the darkness they're in, a solution to be exact. After thinking of a justified and rightful solution, make them do it (using the show method; shall be discussed later on), then make them come into a realization/conclusion. Remove the old shirt they're wearing and make them wear a new personality, because by doing that, a character development will be shown.

▪ I highly suggest you balance your focus on the plot, world building, and not just the characters. Widen your logics, and think outside the box. Hindi lang sa mga karakter mo umiikot ang akda, kundi pati sa world building at plot nito, lalong-lalo na ang mga emosyon. Kasi, pansin ko, kina Kenji at Akie ka lang nakapokus, hindi sa world na binuo mo o sa aktuwal na society'ng kinabibilangan nila. Parang wala nga sila sa society'ng mayroon tayo ngayon e. Don't go overboard on giving spotlights to the characters. Instead, balance the foundation of your story. Make your world building strong, create the society you're talking about in the description and show us how the characters are struggling because of it.

▪ Based on the first ten chapters of the story, the conflict isn't shown nor you didn't focus in it. There were just small glimpses of it, but it didn't got proper importance in any of the chapters. Keep in mind, dapat saklaw na ng sampung unang kabanata ang suliranin ng mga karakter, para may thrill, at may mapanghahawakan ang mga mambabasa mo sa storya. May mga times na nagpopokus ka nga roon, pero kaunti lang kumpara sa characters. Balance your focus between characters and the conflicts. Mas nangingibabaw kasi ang mga karakter base sa unang sampung kabanata. Kasi kapag hindi balanse, puwedeng mag-cause ng confusion sa mga mambabasa, at hindi clear kung ano ba talaga ang suliranin sa akda mo. Is it about the society's cruelty? Or about the characters conquering and overcoming their own problems? Be clear on what you're conflict is by focusing on ig and giving it a spotlight in a specific chapter. Saka mo lang kasi naipapakita kung ano suliranin nila kapag may oras sila para magbulay-bulay sa buhay nila. Gaya ng kay Akie, saka lang siya nagpakita ng suliranin kung kailan may alone time siya. Dapat within the story, naipapakita na nang malinaw kung ano talaga ang suliranin ng problema.

▪ One more thing, it didn't feel like what the two characters are facing is serious at all. Parang minor problem nga lang sa kanila ang mga pinagdaraanan nila e. Bakit? Dahil kulang sa emosyon. Especially in the scene where Akie is talking about the judgement of the society. Why does she keep on complaining and not talking/bursting her emotions as she complains? She's not a robot, she's a human. So give her justifiable emotions every time.

Sequencing

▪ On the opening of the story (prologue), it lacks the impact needed to hook the readers and push them to read your story. In addition, it's very confusing for me since no names and sexuality were described, and how are the reader's supposed to identify who's who? I'm guessing it's Akie since you described her as someone who's cold. Not only does the beginning lacks the impact needed, but also the mood, describing, and emotions - which is one of the vital things we should keep in mind in order to write a promising story.

▪ Liwanag ng buwan lang ang na-describe sa opening, maliban diyan, puro dialogues na. Hindi naman siguro limitado ang nakikita ng karakter mo riyan 'di ba? So bakit buwan lang ang pinagtuonan mo ng pansin? Also, prologue pa lang 'yan, kaya kailangan mong banggitin kung sino ang nagsasalita (also descirbe what they look like) dahil hindi pa naman pamilyar ang iba sa kung sinu-sino ang mga karakter.

▪ Moving on in the middle part of the story. The plot seems bland to be honest, the scenes that were put in some chapters doesn't seem like it's contributing something in the plot of the story. May iba na parang basta lang pinasok doon, kaya ang kinakalabasan, nagiging boring. Try to be creative with your scenes and at the same time, contributes something for the story's foundation. Nagiging bland/boring kasi ang plot kapag puro pasok lang ng mga eksena na walang gaanong ambag sa akda. And if ever you're actually doing this, stop it. Pag-isipan mo muna nang mabuti ang mga eksenang ipapasok mo sa kada isang kabanata. Ano bang maiaambag noon? Mapapanatili mo pa kaya ang excitement sa mga mambabasa? O magiging boring at simple lang siya gaya sa ibang mga akda? May ambag ba ang esksenang ipapasok mo sa kabuoan ng akda o wala? Outlining every chapter is quite helpful to analyze whether the scenes you think of actually benefits the foundation of your work. Give some thrills with moods and emotions, give cliffhanger instead of putting it all in one chapter. Give some excitement to the readers so they can continue reading your work.

You said the Villaward University is known for it's great leadership but why do they let unmannered students be the leaders of other students?