My critiques mean no offense to the story nor author, these are solely intended for the betterment of your work. It does not mean to harm nor belittle you in any way. If you have concerns regarding this critique, message me privately. Everything stated here came from my own opinion and perspective which may differ from others.

This contains spoilers, beware.

This is a rough draft.

▪ The first thing a reader would judge in a story is the title - whether it's rare, catchy, intriguing, and at the same time, the grammar must be correct. But basing from your title, the word "Meet's" is wrong. It should be "Meets" because this word and the one in your title is completely different. The word meets is the plural form of meet. While meet's is just the shortcut of meet is. And isn't the grammar wrong if you say, When The Bad Girl Meet Is The Nerd?

▪ Moving on, I highly recommend you think of a more catchy and not commonly used title. Kasi, parang wala nang dating ang kuwento mo kapag ganiyan ang title - na sobrang gamít na gamít na. Puwedeng isipin ng iba na walang pinagkaiba ang kuwento mo sa kuwento ng ibang authors na may kapareho kang title. I also think that the title doesn't fit the story. Because when Jazz encountered the nerd for the first time, there was no spark at all (will discuss later), ang normal lang nang encounter nilang dalawa kaya parang walang impact ang pamagt. Let's tweak our imagination and be creative with our words to form a more fitting title.

▪ Okay naman ang book cover, kaso ang portrayer lang ni Joaquin ang hindi. I think it'd be better if the cover showed how nerdy he is instead of putting a portrayer that doesn't look like a nerd. Ayusin din natin ang pagkaka-place ng fonts sa cover. Kasi halimbawang walang title ang kuwento mo, tapos binasa lang ito base sa cover. Edi ang kalalabasan niyan, The When BadGirl The Meet's Nerd. Ang weird, 'di ba? Also, hindi lang sa pamagat ihinihiwaly ang words na Bad Girl kundi pati sa cover dahil wala namang salitang BadGirl.

Honestly, masyado nang common ang description na ibinigay mo. The intrigue isn't there, and it felt like it's too predictable kasi parang nilahad mo na lahat ng mangyayari. Kumbaga, parang masyado mong na-spoil ang mga mambabasa sa ibinigay mong deskripsyon. Medyo magulo rin kasi nagko-contradict 'yong mga point mo sa iba, at may mga minimal typos.

▪ The words that are circled (red) are the typos, while the black underlined words & sentences are the ones that are hard to understand, and contradicts the point of the other. Sa part na Everything she did did not last long at their school. Lagi rin siyang napupuntang Guidance at muntikan ng (should be nang) ma expell (should be ma-expell), is quite hard to understand so I highly suggest you rephrase it. I revised your overall description, but it's up to you whether or not you'll copy it.

Lindsay Jazz Cresencia is infamous for her troublesome acts. She's the notorious bad girl in their campus that everyone fears of, thus none would dare to lay a finger on her. Everyday she always find herself in the guidance office, because of her never-ending bullying.

Her behavior didn't change and even bullied a transfer student that she addressed as a nerd. Because of her foolish acts, he dropped out of their school.

Time passed, the once nerd she made fun of suddenly returns with a new different look.

▪ Sobrang nakulangan ako sa environment ng story. Hindi sapat lang na sabihing nasa school, bahay, soccer field, cafeteria, at kung anu-ano pang mga lugar ang karakter. Let's take time to describe the place in your imagination. Share the places you imagine by showing it to your readers. Kasi ang kinalabasan ng pagkakalahad mo ng mga lugar, e parang nagmamadali ka. 'Wag gano'n dahil napakaimportante ng pagde-describe ng mga surroundings sa kuwento. Kaya imbes na sabihing nakapunta na sa school si Jazz at dire-diretso sa classroom, let's take our time to describe what she sees as she walks in the school premises. What does she see? Are there too many students? What does she hear? Does she hear the screams coming from her schoolmates mouths? What does she feel? Does she feel hot as she walks? In describing the places and atmosphere, use the five senses (sight, smell, sound, taste & touch). Strengthen and improve your worldbuilding by reading some novels that focuses at this element. Create the world in your imagination by using strong dynamic words, and by making us feel that the world you're trying to create, is real and fresh in our imaginations.

▪ Isa sa pinakaimportanteng elemento ng kuwento ay ang tone at mood ng bawat karakter. Hindi sapat ang pagsabi na galit sila, o naiinis. Dapat iparamdam mo sa amin 'yong nararamdaman ni Jazz at Joaquin, kasi importante 'yon para mas lalong ma-attach ang mga mambabasa mo. Show us how angry Jazz is to Joaquin. Halimbawa, sa part na naiinis si Jazz dahil kay Joaquin, 'wag bastang sabihin na naiinis siya. Iparamdam mo. Palagi kasing sinasabi ni Jazz na naiinis or nagagalit siya ro'n sa nerd, pero hindi ramdam. Ano ba ang karaniwang nararamdaman ng isa kapag nagagalit o naiinis? 'Di ba parang gusto nilang manuntok? Dapat maglagay ka ng mga thoughts sa pov ni Jazz, dahil hindi naman siya robot. Same goes for the other characters. Make us feel like they're actually alive by showing us how they feel.

Jazz

▪ First of all, is she really considered as a "bad girl"? Because for me, I don't think so. Her role as a bad girl lacked so much, as if she's not actually considered as one. In fact, she looks like she just have some attitude problems. Just because she's bullying doesn't mean she's a "bad girl". Karamihan sa mga estudyante ngayon, nangbubuyo na mapapisikal o mental, so ibig sabihin ba no'n bad girl/boy na sila? No. Bullying others doesn't make one a bad girl/boy. They oftentimes cause trouble like pranking their classmates, always looking for a fight, doesn't care about their grades, and doesn't respect anyone. They are also someone who's always sarcastic and blunt. Pero si Jazz, nirerespeto niya ang mga teachers at magulang niya; nagpopo at opo pa nga, na hindi naman ugali ng isang bad girl. Lalo na ro'n sa opening kung saan nagpaalam pa siya sa maid kung puwede na ba siyang umalis, ang unrealistic lang. Hindi ba sa halip na maging magalang at marespeto, dapat opposite nito ang ugali niya? Second, isn't so unrealistic that she's only a elementary student yet she can punch someone with her fists? Basing from your description, wala pang grade six e bad girl na siya at may mga kalokohan na. But let's get real here, may mga ganoong kalalakas bang mga babae ang kayang manuntok ng lalaki? Especially when she's only a grade six student? Even though it's only a work of fiction, we must be realistic somehow, given the fact that your story is a teen fiction one. Third, the scary vibes isn't there at all. What I'm referring to is when you said in your description that everyone fears her. In what way? How did they fear her? At least, give a flashback on how did the other students became afraid of her. Because saying that everyone fears her, is not enough. Make it feel like she's actually a scary student that no one would dare to lay a finger on. Show us how scary Jazz can be.

▪ Okay, so he's a typical nerd that has glasses on, and braces. Please before jotting down the actions you want him to do, think thoroughly and know whether it's justifiable or not. What am I talking about? The scene where he introduced himself for the first time back in his nerd days, he said he has to care for Jazz? Like, why? It's really weird on how he acted like that, as if he knew in the first place that he must care for her even though it's their first encounter. That scene was so uncommon for someone like him, it felt like it came from nowhere. Another scene, was when he called Jazz "Baby Girl". Nakaka-turnoff lang para sa akin na tawagin niya nang gano'n si Jazz e hindi naman pala niya namukhaan. Keep in mind, bago natin isulat ang mga gusto nating scenes, i-consider muna natin kung babagay ba ito sa karakter, at kung may dahilan ba sila kung bakit nila gagawin iyon. Kasi kahit saang anggulo ko tingnan, it really feels like it came out from nowhere. That's unlikely to be him, kumbaga, parang wala iyon sa listahan ng mga katangian niya. I get it that he changed his looks because he got bullied, but does he have to take revenge (sort of) on Jazz? Where he spilled water on her? Parang ang bilis ng pagkaka-remodel kay Joaquin. From nerd, to an instant heartthrob in just a couple of chapters. He has a pov right? I think it'd be right if you'll also put in his pov the reason behind his actions. Kasi nagiging vague kapag hindi. Also, it's really so out if the blue that he kissed Jazz. Just because she's too noisy, he kissed her? There could've been other ways, that will also justify his actions. Kasi kung titingnan natin, parang ang babaw naman masyado ng dahilan niya. Hindi niya pa gaanong kakilala si Jazz, magkaaway pa nga sila e, tapos bigla niyang hahalikan?

▪ Although they're only side characters (it's what I think), doesn't mean we shouldn't focus on them too much. Every character is important in order to make a promising story. On Jazz's family, they're kinda vague for me. One way to make a vivid character is by describing their physical appearances. Another is by creating a scene where the main character would bond with them. I highly recommend that you show an affection between Jazz and her parents, para sa ganoong paraan, mararamdaman ng mga mambabasa kung gaano nila kamahal si Jazz kahit na masama ang ugali niya, at ampon. Next is her sister, Steph. Honestly, siya talaga ang pinaka-vague para sa akin. Sobrang rough ng character niya. Kasi sa mga naunang kabanata, medyo mabait pa siya at hindi gaanong nakikipagbangayan kay Jazz. Pero no'ng kalaunan, nagulat na lang ako na bigla niyang inaway si Jazz. In what reason? Because she felt jealous of her? Because Jazz gets all the things that she deserves to have? Well, the reason behind her actions are justified. But the problem is, her emotions, and foreshadowings weren't there. Wala man lang hint na nagseselos siya o ano. Dapat, mayroong gano'n, author. Puwedeng magawa iyan sa pamamagitan din ng pov ni Jazz - kung ayaw mong magkaroon ng pov si Steph - in the early chapters, show us how her jealousy and envy grew, and when did she start to feel it. Para naman hindi siya gaanong vague sa mga mambabasa.

▪ On the other hand, Paolene. Medyo rough at vague. Sa part na niligtas siya ni Jazz, hindi man lang ba siya nag-hesitate na kausapin si Jazz? Kasi kilala naman siya bilang bad girl na kinakatakutan ng lahat, 'di ba? Pero bakit si Paolene, wala man lang siyang hesitation or second thoughts na i-approach si Jazz? May pagka-vague din ang tropa ni Joaquin. Mas maganda siguro kung huwag natin direktang sasabihin kung anu-ano ang mga katangian nila. Sa halip, ipakita mo in an indirect way, in short, the show not tell. At para mas maging vivid sila, why not put scenes wherein one by one, you'll show us what their personality us? And I guess it won't hurt if we describe their physical appearance, right? Especially when the main character had an encounter with them, describing what they look like is very helpful.

Structure

▪ Let's balance the structure of our story. Don't just focus on your characters - don't give them all the spotlight in every chapter. Take note, hindi lang sa mga karakter umiikot ang kuwento, kundi pati sa iba pang mga elemento ng akda. Let's improve our craft and focus on the worldbuilding, atmosphere, tone, mood, pacings, consistency, and many more. Pansin ko kasi na pokus na pokus ka kina Jazz at Joaquin, maganda naman 'yon, pero masama ang sobra. Masama ang sobra-sobrang pabibigay ng atensyon sa iba. Let's balance the elements of our story, for a better outcome.

Conflict

▪ At this point, I still can't determine on what the conflict is. As of now, I have two in mind: about Jazz's attitude, or about her past. Wala namang masama kung hindi pa naipapakita ang suliranin sa kuwento, pero importanteng may foreshadowing para magka-hint ang mga mambabasa mo kung ano ba ang dapat nilang abangan, at kung paano ang magiging takbo ng story. Nakapagbigay ka naman ng foreshadowing, but push it a little, and you'll get to it. One way to show the conflict is by balancing your pacing. It musn't be too fast nor too slow. But I personally think the conflict is between Jazz and Joaquin dahil sa mga tanong na iniwan mo sa deskripyon mo. Kung sakaling tama man ako na iyan nga ang suliranin sa kuwento mo, dapat na naipakita mo ang pagka-justifiable ng suliranin na 'yon. But if ever I'm not correct about it, then that's great because to be honest, a plot where the bad girl changed because of the nerd, is so overused in Wattpad. Let's widen our imagination and think of a unique yet intriguing conflict.

Sequencing

▪ Masyado nang common ang opening, kaya i-push pa natin. Kasi kadalasan sa mga mambabasa, tinitingnan nila kung nakakaintriga ba ang opening ng story, kaya kailangan, sa opening pa lang, may malaking impact na agad. At saka, gaya ng sabi ko, nagko-contradict ang opening mo sa personality na dapat ma-possess ni Jazz bilang bad girl. Kasi ro'n pa lang, nawala na 'yong pagka-bad girl niya. Hindi naman siguro niya kailangang magpaalam pa sa katulong 'di ba? If she's a bad girl, why would she even ask for permission or respect a mere maid? Moving on, don't be too fast in your pacing. I saw that you keep on "lumipas ang ilang araw..." doing this which is wrong. Hindi dapat natin inii-skip ang mga importanteng scene. 'Wag mong i-skip ang scenes na nagko-contribute sa plot, author. What am I talking about? The part where Jazz is already bullying Joaquin, instead of actually narrating the tension between them, you just skipped it. And also the scene where she and Joaquin are fighting, you skipped it. Also, I highly suggest that you show the readers first of what kind of person Jazz is before or as she bullies Joaquin. Because honestly, sobrang bilis ng pacing e. Wala pang iilang chapter, boom, wala na agad si Nerd. Patagalin muna siguro natin, para maging effective abg pagiging bad girl ni Jazz. Next is her bullying her target - the nerd. That period - which really contributes a lot to the plot - is really short at mukhang minadali lang talaga. Gaya ng sabi ko, 'wag na 'wag mamadaliin ang mga importanteng senaryo na nag-aambag sa plot. Siguro, palipasin muna natin ang ilang linggo bago mag-dropout si Joaquin. Pero sa loob ng mga linggong 'yon, huwag puro pambubuyo. Maraming paraan kung paano maipapakita ni Jazz ang pagiging bad girl, at hindi rin naman required na 24/7 siyang nakapokus kay Joaquin. Ang isa sa mga paraang maipapakita niya ang ugali ng isang bad girl, ay ang pagiging rebellious niya. Then after a couple of weeks, he can drop out. Also, palipasin din muna siguro ang kahit isang chapter (or more) bago ipakita ulit si Joaquin. And within those chapters, you can showcase the relations between her and her family.

Any student won't be sent in a guidance office just because he/she cursed.

▪ In most cases here in the Philippines, students don't get to go to the guidance office to meet the principal just because they cursed. Commonly, the teacher that witnessed him/her cursing would only lecture the student. You don't have to go far away and have Jazz's parents to come by her school. I mean, halos lahat na nga ng mga estudyante ngayon e nagmumura na. So, parang ang hectic na kada may magmumura, mapapa-guidance 'di ba? At saka, masyadong busy ang principal para pagtuonan ng pansin ang mga ganiyan.

Is she really a bad girl?

▪ If Jazz considers herself as a bad girl, then why would she even bother to agree to her mom, and make a promise? Why would she bother to study so hard? Correct me if I'm wrong, but bad girls are rebellious, blunt, etc.

How come ngayon lang ito na-realize ni Jazz?