《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: From NE to Cali
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From NE to Cali
MusicStoryLover05
Teen Fiction, Adventure, Life
LOVE IT. Cute and straight to the point!
Sweet and straight to the point. States the topic and conflict.
Establishes the main character and her friends are close and are in High School together. We see her character and interaction with other people.
Be careful with present and past tense. Needs a little bit of spell check.
I like how this story is going. It's what I would call a sweet and fluffy read. There is no major problem and you don't have to think. I do have one question... Did she really eat the puppy Chow??
4 💙💙💙💙
Keep writing, it's just in it's first stages. I might read on, but I have a hard time reading Complementary books.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial29 Chapters
Moonsneeze
Josef awakens in a bubbling goo-sac only to learn he has 164 hours to live – at least, that’s the longest record for a goo-drinker reborn at the underfunded Ba’ha Grotto outpost. Forced to flee or be instructed towards his death, Josef must learn to live and survive in the strange and wondrous world known as The Lush Heap. Along the way, he’ll meet a stupendous cast of heroes, quasi-heroes, and nomadic woebegones, each angling to discern the secrets of The Gentle Void. He’ll uncover magical sects and pathways, kingdoms visible and invisible, and the strange powers brought by the conjoined worlds. For fans of fantasy with a light touch the bizarre and a good helping of world-building.
8 134 - In Serial8 Chapters
Melio
A Stormy Beginning series is a lengthy world building prologue, setting the background for future events and detailing the history of the world called Melio. If you aren't interested in world building I suggest skipping onward to Chapter 1.----Synopsis----A young man and his father spend their days together in the outskirts of a small island settlement. The father spends his time focused on the synthesis of new and often strange tools, lost in a personal world of levers and gears, using small gems found within the worlds creatures called spirit cores to make everyday life easier. The son dreams of the life of a Hunter. A chance to venture beyond the settlement Wall and see the world, while participating in grand battles against the powerful creatures that stalk The Wild for a chance to gather new and rare materials. When he gets his opportunity to join in a venture, he discovers a strange spirit core that will turn his life, and the world, on its head.
8 162 - In Serial7 Chapters
my Buisnessman (dreamnotfound/gream)
!*DISCONTINUED*!Dream and George are friends, however Dream never showed his face to George, George is in an interview, but he doesen't know that Dream was the boss.(Disclamers: you might not like this ship and the first few pages are writen before, because the phone was broken, and english isin't my first language)
8 96 - In Serial43 Chapters
Drinks For The Soul | Poetry
A poetry collection poured from my soul...Cover credit: @flymetomoonwendy
8 173 - In Serial12 Chapters
False Assumptions
After running away from her last foster care Mariah was living on the streets for a few years. She makes a decision that almost lands her in jail but instead she gets taken in by Ms.Valentine the best thing to ever happen to her...Chris and his siblings have had a hard life, but one things for certain his mom always made a way. Helping his mom take care of his siblings and working to help pay the bills, he had to step up early but he never complains...Chris see's Mariah as a stuck up brat, who's never had to worry about anything in her life. She sees him as an arrogant asshole, who can't admit when he's wrong. After being forced to work together on a project they realize their assumptions are way off.
8 177 - In Serial36 Chapters
The silver sharingan warrior
The world of remnant is full of monsters that seek only death and destruction yes these creatures of darkness are called Grimm and at the time humans were always at the mercy of the Grimm that was until the silver eyed warriors were born with the ability to freeze Grimm into stone with just a stare as well as the branwen tribe and there sharingan which gave them amazing abilities and skill but at a terrible cost with both of them being the most powerful clans in remnants history what happens when a child is born of a silver eyes and a branwen. lets find out shall we#1 in tyrian as of 8/1/22
8 114
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