《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: From NE to Cali
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From NE to Cali
MusicStoryLover05
Teen Fiction, Adventure, Life
LOVE IT. Cute and straight to the point!
Sweet and straight to the point. States the topic and conflict.
Establishes the main character and her friends are close and are in High School together. We see her character and interaction with other people.
Be careful with present and past tense. Needs a little bit of spell check.
I like how this story is going. It's what I would call a sweet and fluffy read. There is no major problem and you don't have to think. I do have one question... Did she really eat the puppy Chow??
4 💙💙💙💙
Keep writing, it's just in it's first stages. I might read on, but I have a hard time reading Complementary books.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial70 Chapters
The Demon and The Angel (Complete)
Book 1: In the Virtual Reality World of Aurora events begin unfolding behind the scenes unseen by the masses. When the God of Evolution woke from his slumber he only brought misfortune to some by unconsciously cursing them. Though unfortunate they also hold fate on their hands as they grow in power they will soon be the greatest powers in the three realms. Back to their most primal form watch how a young imp and fallen angel fight to grow and regain their lost power and their rightful place as the Prince of Demons and Princess of the Gods before a new Great Celestial war comes hunting for their lives baring their fangs at the changes to the world their very existence are causing. PSS: Please vote and leave reviews i want to know how the story rates not only overall
8 225 - In Serial11 Chapters
Red Smile
Never was he more sure of himself than when he slipped his knife across his own throat. When he woke up in a room full of other people who arrived by similar means he was less sure. It wasn't until the wizard floated into the room that he knew he'd made a terrible mistake.
8 178 - In Serial7 Chapters
Veracity: A Tale of Seven Sins
Larceny is a crime, but that never really stopped anybody in Soccordia. When Rhys' endevors begin to draw attention from the wrong kind of people, he is eventually coerced into pulling off a heist on nothing less than the King's own treasury - simply as a test to gauge his qualifications. When the gears begin to turn and Rhys' real target takes him across Continents, to other Kingdoms the size of the world amazes him. For a boy who has never ventured outside of his own city, Rhys is thrust into the throes of magic, the might of knights and a story that is not his own - a story of Rulers. P.S: The cover actually gives some really different vibes as compared to what the actual story is going be about. Please do not be put off by it :p
8 199 - In Serial29 Chapters
Hunger for affection
"I'm hungry" This thought haunts the head of Rin Shin, a beastly hybrid throughout her unfortunate life. In a region where human dominance ruled over other races, she was the undesirable fruit of a slave and her master. Since she was little she was sold many times for various reasons, but nowhere did she receive affection, if not hatred and disgust, and the only thing that saved her from the greatest misfortune was her luck and discretion. But now when her mind was fed up with everything, she was sold as the lowest ranking servant to the most prestigious but dangerous place in the region, the crown prince's palace. It is in this place where the opportunity for freedom will finally be presented in exchange for being able to resist several years of servitude. But can she get her freedom?. "I will be posting this story on scribblehub.com too" Timeline: the false master of death (at the same time) | not related The folly of a failed magician (at the same time) | not related The ice queen and the nobody (prequel) | not related 7 envoid of the end (at the same time) | little related
8 69 - In Serial21 Chapters
Demon Archon Of Naferanam
Did you know the story of other side? I mean the underworld. Teyvat have their own crisis when the demon roaming their land until 1 person come out and controlling those demon. She is the one that people call Demon King or Demon God. She created another new place where all of her subject can live in there. This place called Neferanam. Thousands of years pass and she still the absolute ruler of the Neferanam for all of the demon only forever accept her order.
8 153 - In Serial9 Chapters
Backwards rollercoaster || Mairimashita! iruma-kun
[ "Don't walk in front of me... I may not follow. Don't walk behind me-I may not lead. Walk beside me... just be my friend." ] -Albert CampusBecoming the demon King was quite the task for Iruma, but to rewind all of the hard times again with the same people? Had God finally come down with his hands-punishing Iruma for his sins?*This story will be purely imaginative after the latest manga chapters. All words aren't canon unless the creator released more manga chapters the same as this (storyline.)This is a fanfiction for Mairimashita! Iruma-kun.
8 152
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