《Critique And Editing Info》Critique:The Forsaken Know My Name
Advertisement
The Forsaken Know My Name
TONYANN
Fantasy, Horror, Paranormal, Romance
LOVE IT. A little blurry and can't read the smaller words.
I like it! States the problem within the character himself and the world around him.
Love the describing. To me it was too much, but some people enjoy that. It reminded me of Sarah J. Maas books how she describes every little detail. Also the Mate bond, Perfect!
4 💙💙💙💙
It's really good keep writing!
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial128 Chapters
The Great Core's Paradox
A tiny snake with great potential. The sole creation of the Great Core. That was who I was. That was what I was.It was just us, the Great Core and I, tucked away in our little corner of the World Dungeon. Together, we hid from the bad-things and the Coreless of the world outside — safe from the horrors that would consume us.Until, one day, the Coreless found us. Until they tried to steal away my creator. Until, with no other option, I swallowed the Great Core that had made me.Only after that did I become what I was always meant to be.At last, I became the Great Core’s Paradox in more than name.[The Endless Cycle] began.Thus begins the story of a little snake zealot and his journey to greatness.
8 865 - In Serial16 Chapters
Known Danger System 42
The world has changed. Who will survive? Jax had hardly a care in the world, life was good. Then the System hit and it hit hard and now it seems like there is only one way to survive. Kill or be killed. That is what life is like when everyone around you views you as a source of potential experience. - This will be a work in progress, it is also my first try. I hope to create something which everyone can enjoy. I have a lot of ideas and appreciate reviews and insights. If you have advice then please share. If you see mistakes then please inform me and I will correct them. I have gained inspiration from a great deal that I have read on RR and elsewhere. Thank you.
8 242 - In Serial15 Chapters
M-King
What if it all started with The King? The story takes us back roughly 3 million years into the past where we get to follow Marcus, who is a friend, son and a true explorer. Marcus lives together with his tribe on Red Mountain. For the most part, they live up in the canopies where they are protected and safe but Marcus feels that there has to be more to life then hanging from a branch and picking lice. He wants to learn as much as possible about life, may it be in the trees or on the ground. His tribe, which are one of the most knowledgeable on Red Mountain, have high values and specific paths for their young ones to take in order for them to surive and for their tribe to thrive. Marcus is set out for an advanture that will shape the course of our history and thanks to his eagerness and willingness to learn, the outcome is something that nobody could have expected.
8 138 - In Serial22 Chapters
Gangs From Another World
This story takes place in a world like our own where magic and high technology rule the day. This particular world is ruled by a feline race. The race is divided up into 12 clans (like Greek city-states), with their own territories, solar systems and planets. These 12 clans answer to the original Home World for external disputes, negations, emergencies or to direct military operations only. Within the time-frame of this story, a new Emperor has recently ascended the throne, approximately a year has past since the ascension. He was the previous ruler of the Clan Ya-kith-Thar or Clan founding #3, world of the artisan cats. Unfortunately, not all residents have benefited from technological wonders. The forgotten, who were not lucky enough to be Royal born or middle class and above, experience a hard life, like those of the colonial worlds. The poorer denizens see the technological marvels from their windows, and yet experience little of it. This is the story of one such group living in the ghetto of the Capital city, written by Horus Blackburn, leader of the North-Central Gang.
8 138 - In Serial31 Chapters
Of Demigods and Wizards
When Ron Weasley discovers that he's the son of Poseidon and a mortal woman, he has no idea of how much his life and the lives of his friends will be changed forever...
8 252 - In Serial19 Chapters
Canary After Lightning
[Book one of the Lance-Allen series]There was once a Lance who found her true love after a break in... Yea that's the story you wanna tell your kids...(OC x Barry Allen)
8 73

