《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: The King and The War Dancer
Advertisement
The King and The War Dancer
TONYANN
Fantasy, Erotic, Romance, Short Story
Sets what type of dancer she is. Love the change of front.
Sweet and straight to the point.
OMG the dancing I can imagine her dancing. The slow change of thinking she's performing for a crowd and then to only be dancing in front of one man.
One word.. Oh Snap...This King is one Badass
OMG
Woah
SHIP IT!!
Oh Snap..Brother
Coward move, but needed to be done
My heart!
4.5 💙💙💙💙
Amazing word choice. OMG as you can tell above, I read this whole short story. I couldn't stop reading it. I was a little bit confused about her born curse. You might need to explain that differently or it could just be me. Some words misspelled, just read through it.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial80 Chapters
Unlimited Evolution
ABANDONNED! Summoned to another world and forced to fight a war, Alex didn’t even survive the first day, dying at the hands of a grotesque monster. But things aren't over for him when he found himself reborn as an imp in a dungeon. Having experienced death once, Alex swore to never let himself be killed again. However, in an environment where even the beings of the same species are your potential enemies, can such a thing be possible? Thankfully, Alex still had access to the system he gained as a transmigration bonus when he was summoned to this world. With it, maybe it is possible for him to survive the hellish prison called a dungeon, and one day he would have his revenge against the empire that summoned him. All in the future though, but first, he has to survive the terror of goblins that loomed over his head...
8 562 - In Serial10 Chapters
Trials of Sanity (New Version)
When 23-year-old Leo is suddenly transported to a new dimension filled with horrors, he needs to adapt to survive. Taken from earth together with thousands of others, they must do anything to come out on top. In their new reality, under the all-powerful System, their human limits are no more. Will this newfound power breed cruelty or compassion?Follow his struggle and journey, as he grabs hold of whatever he can only to see another day and another fight. Human nature and morals will be put to the test with each passing moment. When the horrors of the imagination become all too real, the feeble minds of men and women alike are brought to the brink of insanity.If we are the product of our environment and culture, what sort of people will be born of a place filled with violence, nightmares, and horror? Forced to fight for his life, Leo must remain sane. And so does the people around him, if he is ever to survive. ----------------- Two chapters a week.
8 254 - In Serial25 Chapters
The Orphan and the Thief
From the very beginning it was all Toad’s fault. A blundering, quick-talking thief, he was the one who cut a deal with the dangerous Edward P. Owl: track down the ingredients to the Seeking Solution, or else. Twenty-five thousand gorents, he’d said to her. That was all it took for Melena, a lonely orphan with a knack for potions, to pack her bags and join in on the quest. From the majestic forest of Holly-Harp Wood to the labyrinth caves of Dunthur to the frigid waters of the Blackens, they search for Owl’s ingredients. Toad and Melena must face sea dragons, cave monsters, birds as large as wagons, kidnappers, and thieves. Toad’s in it to save his head – cross Owl and start digging your own grave. Melena’s in it to get paid so she can start a new life, one that includes her missing brother. But you really can’t trust thieves. The Orphan and the Thief is also available on Kindle and in paperback via Amazon.com. Thanks for reading!
8 232 - In Serial29 Chapters
Apartment Below- Partly Dialogue ✔
Highest ranking #40 in short stories(Unedited)"I have hung up on you twice already. Don't you understand that I do not have time for you to complain about the fact that you have to clean your room Elizabeth?!""I am not Elizabeth. I just called to ask you a question-""Well I do not have the time to talk too you either."----When a boy calls the girl above and keeps calling.
8 133 - In Serial37 Chapters
The Sun Dragon
Where in the eldest child of the Silver Prince survived the Sack. And she was a dragon, and her flames burned hotter than the sun. And she would shake Westeros with Fire and Blood for she was Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken.Rights to the owners. I only own the plot & my OC's.
8 227 - In Serial49 Chapters
Skywalker Rises
A post-TROS fix fic. Ben & Rey's story after Episode IX.This story contains plenty of spoilers from Episode IX, and some from the Mandalorian.These are not my characters, world, or artwork.
8 116

