《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Maiden Heart Zwei
Advertisement
Maiden Heart Zwei
Canislupus54
Fantasy, Magic, Adventure, Swords, (Fanfiction)
Needs a cover....
It's simple, but not enough. Also you should probably mention more for people who don't know the anime, Maiden Heart Zwei Tri.
I really liked this. The imaginary was on point and you didn't have unnecessary information. I do suggest though you put for the break 'Years later' or 'in the far city of {Blank}' I got a little confused when it switched over.
Good, Good. I really enjoyed this chapter. I can see potential with this story. I have a feeling you enjoy this story. I notice your writing is a bit different in this one compared to 'The Elf Princess'. You should maybe say sooner that she is a squire and explain what a squire is.
3.5 💙💙💙
I really wanted to give a 4 so 3.5 . You need a cover. Your summary needs some fixing. Your prologue was good except for the break, explain why the view changed from Lucia to Ellie. Chapter 1 was amazing. This is actually the first story that is in third person that I can understand. I have a hard time understanding Third Person. If I have the time I might read on. Keep Writing.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
-
In Serial22 Chapters
Gaia- Legend of Sura
Born with average talent. Helius Sura a person who only excelled at one thing, and was someone who was given a gift to change his life. I won’t die as a normal being. I need to find my lost feeling, I will not stop until the day I get it back. And the day I find it will be the day that my soul will find true peace. Guys this story is evolving as it goes, so there may be some changes here and there, that's the reason for me changing the synopsis 3 times. I don't have a perfect goal in front of me, the story will shape itself according to the extent of my imagination.
8 265 -
In Serial8 Chapters
Is It My Time Yet?
Follow this grandma’s unhappy journey of being transmigrated with all her memories intact. ‘“Why me?” she cried to herself “I can't even die in peace?” “...at the very least, I demand compensation!" "Erase my memories!”
8 129 -
In Serial47 Chapters
ACCIDENTAL
"he thinks i'm his mother?""and he thinks i'm his father..." ( CHANGKYUN | © monxsthetic. 2019 )#9 in monstaxfanfiction (20.07.06)#7 in monstaxfanfiction (20.07.08)#2 in monstaxfanfiction (20.08.15)
8 116 -
In Serial16 Chapters
Zombies
This is one of three stories that I am offering as a test run. If you like it, then I'll choose to continue working on it. I have a whole plot line ready to explore! What can I say, I'm a sucker for rebirth, regression, and transmigration stories. This one is a regression story. The main character get's yeeted back in the past, to where the end began. Read on tortured souls as I do my best to break the weak, and sooth those who don't have a soul to break. I spent some time trying to make a story that explores all the gritty situations a resident of the apocalypse would encounter. Unfortunately, I do struggle with pace. I get just as impatient as you when I can't get to the next bloody encounter. But I despise OP characters, and I really wanna stop and explore the fascinating death of civilization. I write this in hopes of making a main character who get's to be the bad-ass I can't be, without, you know, skipping the good stuff.
8 171 -
In Serial14 Chapters
Phoebe's Afterword
When a story ends another one begins. Follow the journey of Silvia, a strange being coming from a now lost place, on these new lands. Hello everyone, this is the first story I ever wrote, in english on top of that (I am french).I hope you will have a good read.
8 93 -
In Serial21 Chapters
criminal minds imagines.
imagines of our favorite agents ! <>requests are closed!
8 124
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
