《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: My Sister's Social Agony
Advertisement
My Sister's Social Agony
Friendforever21
Teen Fiction, Complementary
Needs a cover
Okay, but what is this book about? Is it a girl or a boy? Does something happen to them?
WOW. That was good. There is a little bit of things I would look over. Such as "After twenty steps the stairs,..."
Your first chapter was beautiful in third person. You can't jump from third to first. In Third person you can see into the minds of everyone, in your story. If you're in the present you can't go into the future; it ruins the flow.
3 💙💙💙
Mostly due to no cover, need a clear and supporting summary, as well as some fixes in the chapters. Most are stated above. If you need a cover go to clubs; here on Wattpad. Keep Writing.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial539 Chapters
Falling In Love : I Love You, Today And Forever
Aria and Ivy are twin sisters whose father has gone missing for three years. They have left no stone unturned to find him, but all in vain.
8 9964 - In Serial9 Chapters
The Days of Path Dust
In a dark age of the distant future, a curious young monk defies a power-hungry minister by exploring forbidden realms in an effort to solve the mystery of his sister's disappearance.
8 217 - In Serial22 Chapters
The Hawkshaw Inheritance
The Hawkshaw Inheritance is a completed story, with twenty chapters in total. For as long as almost anyone can remember, a small percentage of people have possessed fantastic gifts. Superhuman strength, speed, and smarts are just a few of the many such abilities on record. Some choose to exploit these powers for personal gain, but most use them for the benefit of their fellow man. Thanks to these people, who we call superheroes, the world is safe. The reality is a little more complicated. Most heroes are content to stop the supervillain and pose for the cameras. But it takes more than a few costumed cops and superpowered celebrities to save the world. Humanity is in danger from forces that ordinary heroes are woefully unequipped to handle. But neither they nor the public will ever be aware of the danger they are in, thanks to the efforts of the Council. For more than twenty years, the world's most powerful, influential, and intelligent metahumans have worked tirelessly in secret to protect the world, and subtly steer it on a better course. Six months ago, one of their number, the infamous vigilante detective known as Hawkshaw, disappeared without a trace. Now it falls to his protege to take up the mantle of Hawkshaw, learn the truth of his mentor's disappearance, and uncover the secrets of the most powerful people in the world... as well as what they're willing to do to keep those secrets buried.
8 178 - In Serial41 Chapters
Re:HUNTER *DROPPED*
Sgt. Chris Wandell, a US Marine Sniper, passed away in a war somewhere in Afghanistan. Now he reborn in a new life with no fragment of any memories of his past life, but soon he later discover a persona within him as the one who was famed "VAMPIRE". "What comes in your mind if I ask what Vampire is, you'll that it meant about those ancient evils that feed on blood of the mortals, had fangs and Lord of the Night. Well you are right, but it also another meaning rather than a Mythical Creature. It also meant as Hunters of the Shadows, Reaper of Dark, and Silent Killer." Condition: DROPPED Link: http://wp.me/P6wr8i-2P Note:• Updates are more likely posted in random. • Story may be either whole or partially revised. • This Title and Names is just either Permanent or Temporary. • ENGLISH is not my main language, so don't expect a good grammar. Hello readers, This is me, cjayr369, telling you that this webnovel had long been dropped. I'm sorry that some of you had been expecting me to continue the story but because I lost my material that I used as inpiration to continue the story. That is why I decided to rewrite the whole story from the start. Some changes would be make and it would still follow the plot I design to move towards. I can't say when I would upload the story, but I would happened in the near future.
8 387 - In Serial6 Chapters
Mage Vein
Mages span throughout the three realms. Mortal, Heaven, and Hell. However, it is discovered that a fourth and possibly fifth realm exists. Time and space. Aleius and Baltar challenge the seat of heaven, but soon discover the most powerful of mages to be enslaved by a threat hidden amongst the stars. In their inevitable loss versus the cosmic being, they return to the mortal realm with the help of their Deities. Licking their wounds in the shadows of a powerless realm, they cultivate a new class of mages to combat what lurks in the voids of space. This is my first novel so any and all comments and critiques are much appreciated!
8 180 - In Serial30 Chapters
Shadows {Book one in the Coriana Johnson series}
Coriana Johnson is a seventeen year old girl whose life has been nearly the exact opposite of normal. She's lost pretty much everything, and the only thing she has left is one last chance to find her long-lost sister, who happens to be Daisy Johnson, Inhuman and Shield Agent. Can Cori get past her painful past and trust Shield? Or will this next chapter in her life end in pain just like all of the others? [Agents of Shield Fanfic] [Takes place not too long after the episode Parting Shot (3x13)]{Under Editing!}
8 174

