《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: What's The Worst That Can Happen?
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The Bad Boy's Secret
Browneyed_Writer
Romance, Young Adult, Bad boy
Nice, I really like how it's in black and white. As well as the font used for the title.
There is something missing. What happened to Alex? Maybe add some dialogue.
"Ella, come on. Get out of bed,..."
Don't use 'Since then' because this is the present. Try 'From that day forward I swore no more boys." (Or something like that. Keep it in the present)
'they are' or 'they're'
Who is Cole? Brother? Roommate?
We know Kat is her bff and Adian is Kat's boyfriend, but who is everyone else?
'I knew by now, the pizza place should've been here. I must've gone the wrong way. I decided....'
'You're the one who bumped into me without apologizing.'
'I open one eye to find...'
'...and the scream that was trying...'
I know your book is for young adult, but because you used F** you have to change it to mature. So far this is very good.
I like the change of view. I love books with both of the lovers POV.
We know he's Alex, but Ella forgot who he was.
3.5 💙💙💙
Overall it's really good for being your first story on Wattpad... mine...well...was pretty bad... There is something you need to fix like there is missing 'the's and 'to's. Read your story out loud that will help. The cover is good. Summary is missing something, I'm not sure what. The rest I mentioned above. I actually might read on (if I find the time 😭) Keep writing.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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