《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: You Get What You Wish For
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You Get What You Wish For
ScreamingTumbleweed
Horror, Thriller, Supernatural, Non-Fiction
The cover is your stereotype horror cover. The color of the font is really hard on my eyes, but I'm bad with the color red.
To be honest your summary didn't attract my attention, but the part saying this actually happened to you did.
Tell us about the night. Who is Jessica?(OHHHHH, I get it now)
When you say "The cup was not as empty as we left it to be." Try to say that differently, I didn't know what you were saying till I read more.
At first I was a little confused, but I get it. The ghost is manipulating him using his mom and Jessica.
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!
4 💙💙💙💙
OH MY FREAKIN GOD!!!! This is the best thing I've ever read, in horror. I'm not a big horror fan. But I do watch paranormal shows. I do suggest getting a new cover. Try going to Clubs-Multimedia, there are people there who can make you an amazing cover. I'm not sure what, but your summary is missing something. As I said above, the only thing that really hooked me was "this really happened to me." But now I need to know are you, "I" or Peter. Also, are you going to explain in the future if you and Peter did what you did because of the spirit?
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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