《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Drowned
Advertisement
Drowned
TheImperfectLife
Horror, Murder, Revenge, Suspenseful
OMG, it's beautiful, but I don't like how I have to squint to see your name.
I like it, but are you saying that the lake has a curse? In which the curse brings people back to life? You should say a little bit about the curse.
Everything is good. Sentence flow, grammar, and descriptions.
"I could never do what he once did."
"The moon reflected off the still lake giving off a shimmer of light."
This is the most suspenseful story I've ever read.
Don't forget to tell us who POV it is. Sorrow and grief is basically the same thing.
Is the 'Another life' a legit another life? Or a flashback?
Again POV. Oh, SNAP!!
POV again. WHAT!!!
4 💙💙💙💙
Besides your summary and the little things I pointed out above and in the comments; your story is golden. It's so suspenseful and intriguing.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial292 Chapters
FeralHeart
Disclaimer: This story is intended for adult audiences. You should not read this if you are under the age of eighteen. "I was born with an extremely prestigious but combat-weak logistics class. As the son of the clan head and the next heir, that just wasn’t enough of an excuse to spare me from my father’s grueling training. For in his creed the only strength that mattered was that grasped in one’s own two hands. In my journey through the lands with my harem, I was grateful for his training as it saved my life multiple times when my girls weren’t there to engage in combat. This is my story." Check out my Discord server for character art.
8 210 - In Serial18 Chapters
The First Gift
When the power you crave ends up destroying everything you love. *** Lara Skyborn has a destiny: to receive a Gift--the kind of magic heroes of legend like the First Lady Elena bore and granted. Having trained and studied her entire life for a chance at the honor, Lara has always dreamed of one day being worthy of being bestowed a Gift. What she doesn't know is that with a Gift comes a mission, and with a mission comes taking the lives of others, whether she wishes to or not. Not wanting to kill, Lara refuses her mission. As she leaves the place she calls home, she begins to learn more about the First Lady, the history of the Gifts, and her true identity. Things are never what they seem, and her destiny may lie in something else entirely. Also posted on Wattpad and Scribblehub Beautiful cover by @Lueur_laVespine on Wattpad
8 172 - In Serial17 Chapters
Trap and Fade: The Worst Fantasy
Light blinds the man. Dark dreads the man. His confusing existence reached from apathy to unexpected fate. Aoki Sasaki is the one who suffered for this. He bears from nothing to something. He who struggles is the one who stumbles from nothing. He craves satisfaction to cure his apathy. ----------------------------------------- This is the story of the boy named Aoki Sasaki who was sent to the world which he stumbled to be prejudiced as "The Greatest Threat throughout this world" although it gave him no clue as of—why? Even if fate offers him to create his own peace, what will be the result of the world? Follow his journey to ignore these circumstances before someone will chase and hunt him down.
8 91 - In Serial58 Chapters
Noble Assassin
When I died on death row, that should've been the end. Except I was transported to a new world with a System where I was the forgotten third son of a powerful duke. I tried to live a normal life, but I was executed for my family's treason. After that, I regressed back to when I was 17. Six different times. So it's time to try something different─like learn magic and exploit this stupid System to Hell. Maybe literally. Whatever it takes, right? Unfortunately, the System might already be exploited to Hell and I’m this world’s only chance at saving itself from being annihilated by demons. All I have to do is kill the strongest one of all. Read the author's notes for noble *ss jokes, memes, AI-generated art, commissioned art, and shilling. Cover illustration by Emily McCosh.
8 158 - In Serial137 Chapters
Deteoh – A Glitched World’s Isekai Story
When you die you're supposed to just go to either an afterlife worthy of your exploits or get reincarnated and start all over.Or you can be like me and volunteer to play hero to save a world!I even managed to negotiate immortality as a reward, well I have to become a vampire for that but its not half bad. Glitched skill system?God devouring artefacts?Death counts in scientific notation?What do you mean I just killed the heroine?What have I gotten myself into.I get the feeling I'm playing on impossible difficulty.Also why does everyone make such a deal about how I died?Just because I don't understand the scientific principal at fault doesn't make it important, right? [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
8 114 - In Serial10 Chapters
The Wolf Of Konoha -Naruto Fiction- (Soulmates) (Unfinished)
Neukdae Hoshigaki is the daughter of Kisame Hoshigaki, she know every single one of the Akatsuki member but she doesn't tell to no one.She is BestFriends with Naruto Uzumaki and she know about the 9-Tail beast fox Kurama..The first time she Hate Sasuke with her Heart but after the mission against Zabusa e Haku everything change and become friends and Sakura dosen't like a bit of that.. but team 7 dosen't know about her eaving a beast inside of her, but they know about her eaving soulmates
8 200
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
