《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Reaching For The Perfect Star
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Reaching For The Perfect Star
VMinMoonchild
Fanfiction, Drama, BTS, Romance
LOVE IT. A little generic, but I like it.
Cute, but what???
very good. I would like you to explain that the girl is not Koren. Is she American (etc)? What does she look like? What do the boys look like? (I don't really know this K-pop band; I've seen some pics of them) What is the strange outfit?
How did she mess up? Was she singing? Dancing? Both? (Nevermind you explained in flashback)
Okay, flashbacks, love them.
Even though I couldn't understand the lyrics what she was thinking really helped figure out how she is feeling. Her world crashing around her.
I love how you made it that Erin wanted proof that the main was a talent scout. *clapping hands*
4 💙💙💙💙
I suggest you do a chapter at the beginning as a word bank. Explaining what the Korean words you use mean. Also what is the difference between Korean age and Philippines age and Probably north America (since Wattpad is Canadian) Everything is pretty much stated above.
I actually might read on (if I find the time 😭)
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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grass whistle ~ poetry
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