《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Our Sinful Fate
Advertisement
Our Sinful Fate
CittyKills
Action, Romance, mafia, bad-boy , Mature
Mysterious. I love the use of black & white coloring. The man standing out more.
I really like it. It has me thinking; how will these two meet? How will they fall for each other? And who will leave their life, the mafia world or government world?
5 💙💙💙💙💙
There are some things you need to look over. Some missing I's and the's and the subject (EX: The yellow what?) I really like how it is paced, it's action. I really enjoy how she is the badass one, not the damsel in distress. This story is just WOW! At first, i thought it was going to be like this mafia series I read from Amazon, but it's WAY different. Which is good. I will definitely try to read more when I have time. Keep Writing.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial16 Chapters
Dracula: Patient zero
A new take on the subject of vampirism. Who was the patient zero? What do we truly know about Vlad the impaler ? A quick look at the man behind the legends known today as Dracula the first Nosferatu. ------ Author's note: I'm self-taught in English, so the grammar may suck. I'm no professional writer so the writing style may suck. I hate FF that spend entire chapters describing stuff.. So my describing skills may suck. The main character will also suck... (Blood) I'm writing this just for fun, so if you enjoy, good for you... If not.. Then suck it..
8 112 - In Serial32 Chapters
DayDream
All the humans are gone.From Earth.From this galaxy.After hundreds and thousands of years, the last A.I. remains in a supercomputer on Earth, in a lab.It had finally completed growing a physical body in its lab, and uploaded itself into the body. It decided to launch itself into space, in search for a new life, a new beginning, a new adventure..._____________________________________________________________________________________________-My first fiction, I am willing to accept all constructive criticism and thank you all for reading. Updates usually come at Weekends. Please be aware that the tags may be changed in certain points of the story. Enjoy! ;-)Cover image by TuberculosisGeorge on DeviantArt, taken in Space Engine. Edited by the great me.
8 155 - In Serial7 Chapters
Sol
Auryn Parnyr is a young naval cadet, enlisted in the military of the very empire which had taken over his planet: the Holy Empire of Sol. Auryn leaves behind his home planet in order to chase his childhood dream of exploring space. As a result, he must be flown to the empire's military institute for military education and training. Through his journey, Auryn enters a circle of grim betrayal, unshakable friendship, and epic romance as he crosses paths with various people who would soon prove to be influential figures in the Solean Empire as it is plunged into an unwilling war where Auryn would unknowingly forge a destiny in the stars. - You can also find this novel on Webnovel.
8 119 - In Serial6 Chapters
Laws Raine
During a time when humans no longer exist, but instead replaced by fractions of sub species we follow a group in their time of era to find themselves. The story is set in a world where pure humans don’t exist. “Humans” are now categorised into 5 ex-species. Subhuman, Herbivore, Omnivore, Carnivore, Obligate Carnivore. We follow a young gathering of Subhumans about to embark on their practical to decided what roles they play in their society — but what they didn't expect was their results. Carl, the abandoned bastard son of a noble has other ideas... Not being as talented as his best friend Azekah and surely not as skilled as their leader Tyle; he spots an opportunity to trump them and prove himself as the one and only best Crafter — but how far is he willing to go? Could he even forsake his friends and trample on them, all for the good of his own social position? With Master Crafters being the most sought after position in the Sub-human species — since they create everything from skyscrapers, to furniture and even weapons; just by being a high ranking crafter can bestow a life of luxury. How will these young protectors come to terms with their careers, will they be able to adapt? Or will they cave in? Their lives are only just beginning, but could the Laws of the lands as well as Carl have other ideas for them? This is Laws Raine!
8 168 - In Serial35 Chapters
The Shattered Heavens
"Escort the Federation team. Keep them out of trouble." Those were Octavia Tiberius's first orders out of cryosleep. As a Guardian of the Amaranthian Empire, it was her duty to represent and protect her people. She expected it to be just like the simulations; guns, ships, explosions and the like. What she didn't expect was to fall in love. How does a cyborg soldier find a shoulder to cry on in the middle of a war? Is there room for a heart within the suit of armor? What is a person if not their soul? And what will it take to end this war once and for all?
8 284 - In Serial42 Chapters
Heartbreaker Or Heartbroken
What happens when love turns into hate, don't try to collect the broken pieces of my heart you will end up hurting yourself
8 213
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
