《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Our Sinful Fate
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Our Sinful Fate
CittyKills
Action, Romance, mafia, bad-boy , Mature
Mysterious. I love the use of black & white coloring. The man standing out more.
I really like it. It has me thinking; how will these two meet? How will they fall for each other? And who will leave their life, the mafia world or government world?
5 💙💙💙💙💙
There are some things you need to look over. Some missing I's and the's and the subject (EX: The yellow what?) I really like how it is paced, it's action. I really enjoy how she is the badass one, not the damsel in distress. This story is just WOW! At first, i thought it was going to be like this mafia series I read from Amazon, but it's WAY different. Which is good. I will definitely try to read more when I have time. Keep Writing.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial677 Chapters
Ranker's Return
In the early days of the virtual reality game, Arena, meleegod was the strongest ranked player! He deleted his character and suddenly left. In order to restore his bankrupt family, he returned to Arena!"Do you want to create a character?"
8 1715 - In Serial151 Chapters
Pantheon Online
Two worlds collide in the new VRMMORPG, 'Pantheon Online', as Colt Anderson desperately joins the game in a bid to save his failing gaming career. At first, he thought it would be like any other game…That was until he discovered the players would be the Gods of this world. The goal? To spread their influence among the mortals (NPC’s). However, if their Divinity ever reached zero, they would be forcefully ejected from the game forever.As Colt is driven forward by his ambition, his beliefs as a gamer are called into question. Tough choices lay ahead, while his feelings for an NPC become complicated as they face the coming storms together.
8 90 - In Serial23 Chapters
Birthday
Treasure hunting Ersel steals an effigy she thinks might pay off her family's debts. Problem is, the effigy is alive, and he's a bit of a narcissist. (This is a story I wrote back in 2015. It is half finished, though I was planning on picking it up as I promised myself I'd finish it after I submitted another piece to a publisher, which I did.) ((Oh and skip the first chapter))
8 192 - In Serial17 Chapters
Far cry: My life in a fantasy world as a gunslinger (Idea dump go to Far cry of an anti-hero for a more refine one)
Awaken his after an unknown demise, the anti-social neet Mitsuha is greeted by "god" who informs him about his status. However, "god" wishes for him to live, and changes his thoughts about humanity, so Mitsuha is given a chance to start anew. Mitsuha is then sent to a fantasy like world where he assumes the role of a hero gunslinger. With modern day weaponry and technology, Mitsuha sets off a journey in his new life. I messed up so i'll start to rewrite the story as well as try to find a better title for noir, another novel i'm writing. *I'm not dropping this, it's gonna be like an idea dump for the remaster one Far cry of an anti-hero. Which will be darker and somewhat more comedic in a way... read it pls i'm so bad
8 181 - In Serial76 Chapters
Soulmates of an original (Rosalie and Emmett )
Andrea Mikaelson wanted to get away from all the drama that is her brother Niklaus.She decides to move to a small town called forks. This town also holds a few supernatural secrets. Andrea meets a few people that change her life for the good. (I'm not good at descriptions)Twilight: CompleteNew moon: CompleteEclipse: CompleteBreaking Dawn part 1: Complete Breaking Dawn part 2: Complete**I only own Andrea. I do not own the vampire diaries or twilight***crossover with tvd and twilight*
8 198 - In Serial6 Chapters
Revelations - A 3Ninjas Fanfic - Colt/OC
Brooke "Ember" Sinclair grew up next door to the Douglas'. She's known them as long as she can remember. Rocky has had a crush on her, impressed by her skill in ninja. Colt couldn't be the least bit interested. He believes she's too annoying, although their personalities are the same. Upon Brooke's junior year of high school, Brooke's father is offered a job across the country. When Brooke argues with her parents about leaving, Jessica Douglas offers her the spare bedroom down the hall from the boys. Will Colt and Ember finally get along? What's the reason for all of Colt's hostility? Will living together cause them to come together or tear each other apart? Read and find out!
8 152

