in·tel·lect /ˈin(t)lˌekt/

-The understanding or mental powers of a particular person.

The Wave took the world, consumed it without mercy. The population plummeted with no one remaining. Except for seventeen-year-old Embrie Whitewater and her family..or so she had thought.

After a supply run to the city uncovers things meant to remain hidden, she soon discovers a secret organization... and a looming war.

Embrie finds herself in a world she was never meant to be in.

"I was broken, shattered like glass gliding across the tile as it collided with the floor."

Humanity was never meant to survive this long. And this was the consequence.

Your cover has a minimalist feel to it, which I enjoy. The photo used looks a little blurry, but you can always add filters and edit the photo using apps such as PicsArt. I love the font you used for the title and how it's centered on the page, but it is hard to see from a distance. If I'm being honest, your cover does not do your story much justice. Using apps like Phonto, you can experiment with the boldness and design of your title. There are also amazing cover artists on Wattpad who can create your cover for free. Overall, your cover is a solid 7/10.

From reading your first few chapters, I'm getting the idea that Embrie has some kind of mental power, and she's communicating with a person in her dreams. Hence the title. It makes sense. When I first started reading it, I could not really understand the title. However, it clicked for me. Good job!

So your blurb is heading in the right direction. It's clear that you have put a lot of thought in making your sentence structures the best it can be, and which lines will pull in your readers. However, it is too long. There are a few things that you can edit and remove. Honestly, from reading your story so far, your writing is advanced and your plot is unique. The blurb might be driving potential readers away. Along with that, if your title is about mental powers, and Embrie is experiencing mental communication with someone, then I'd find it important to put in your blurb. The main idea here is that the Wave took over the world, and Embrie has to survive while communicating with a person in her dreams. If I were to shorten your blurb, I might just say: "The Wave took the world, and consumed it without mercy. Seventeen-year-old Embrie thought her family were the only ones left—that is, until she discovers—with the voice in her head to guide her; a hidden organization. 'I was broken, shattered like glass gliding across the tile as it collided with the floor.' Humanity was never meant to survive this long. And this was the consequence." This is short and sweet, and leaves the reader thinking. Honestly, the ending of your blurb definitely hit hard. It will definitely be the selling point; the reason that people will click on your story. It's intriguing and leaves the reader thinking.

From the very start, your use of personification ("the rays peeked through the branches") and your use of descriptive language and imagery had me hooked. You showed off your writing skills, which will make your readers trust your ability to put together a delightful story. Frankly, your hook did its job, and I have nothing else to say. Also, this isn't really part of your hook, but in your second paragraph, you explained the difference in the world, letting your readers know what it was like living through your character's eyes. I think you described it beautifully, setting the scene of your story.

I have thoroughly read through your five chapters and have found common grammar issues that repeat frequently. These are the errors that you need to watch out for in future writing and go back and fix in your first five chapters. First, your use of capitalization. In dialogue, if Embrie says something, and breaks off as the narration continues, then speaks again, her new dialogue should be capitalized. (if this makes little sense, I'll point this out during the specific review of each chapter.) Along with that, just remember that if it is the first word of a sentence, specific person, place, or thing, it should be capitalized. Especially the use of "mother" and "father."

Second, a common mistake is where you place your commas. Most of the time, you do not add commas where they should go. A sentence generally has two clauses. For example: "I graduated last year, and I started college this year." There are two different topics/clauses fused together and separated with a comma. This is really important, and something that you frequently miss repeatedly throughout your chapters. Another thing is that you also misplaced commas. These are less frequent mistakes, and ones that I will point on as we go on.

Another thing to keep in mind is that your story is set in past tense. You do a good job at staying in past tense, but you sometimes mess up and write something in present tense. I will point out these mistakes when reviewing each chapter, but keep in mind that I will not and cannot point out every single one to you. You must go back on your own and look carefully for tense inconsistencies.

From what I've read, I've found no spelling errors. I've definitely found a few incorrect words such as "then" instead of "than" and "insight" instead of "insight." I'll explain those more as we go along. But for the most part, there were no typos, and I can tell you really focused on editing each chapter and making sure that there were no spelling errors. However, we are all humans, and we all make mistakes. To ensure that no spelling errors or grammatical errors will be found on your manuscript, try using ProWritingAid or any other site that offers help in writing your story.

Contrasting many stories I find here on Wattpad, your plot is unique, fresh, and original. You kept me guessing with each new chapter, and I genuinely did not know what was going to happen. I enjoyed how you threw in certain twists, such as adding in mental powers on top of the fact that the Wave took over the world. I was not bored at all while reading your chapters, and you really had me hooked and engaged through each paragraph.

First things first: I love how you addressed the flaws of your character. You talked a lot about Embrie's fears and weaknesses, and not only that, but you extended your descriptions to the other characters as well. I can sense a character arc that will happen throughout the story. You've put a lot of thought into each character's background, their personalities, and their own voices. I can definitely differentiate between Paisley and Embrie, and Embrie and her mother. They have complicated and unexplainable feelings (which you did a good job of explaining) and I was thrilled by the amount of depth and detail that pulled me straight into your story. A solid ten out of ten.

I could go on and on about your writing style and voice. It is unique and descriptive, and I can really see that you understand that writing a story is not just writing down what happened. It is like writing a song, or the passion of playing an instrument. You really swept me away with the first word, and your choice of diction really blew me away. You have a well-rounded vocabulary and a knack of making even the most mundane things interesting. Well done. I'm sure that in time, your writing will only improve. Just keep writing this story, and readers will find you.

"No more trucks stirred up the dirt as it flew by ignoring the speed limit." (paragraph 2). Here, you've used the word "trucks," meaning plural. However, you then described "trucks" with "it" which is singular. Correction: "No more trucks stirred up the dirt as they flew by, ignoring the speed limit." Also, take note of how I've separated the two clauses with a comma.

In paragraph five, you wrote: "I decided it would be no different, even though she's dead." From what I've gathered by reading your first few paragraphs, this story is based on past tense. However, here you have slipped up and used present tense. A correction to this would be: "I decided it would be no different, even though she was dead."

In paragraph six, you used present tense again in your first sentence regarding the same topic. Can you find this mistake? (if not, please let me know).

Who exactly is Rosemary? Was she a neighbor, or a grandmother? Try to provide a little context by sliding in a few details through your paragraphs so that the reader has a good idea of who Rosemary was.

"The same words that made me cry every time, breaking havoc in my ears." This is a beautiful description! I can really feel the pain that Embrie is feeling in this sentence. Keep up the good work.

"Even crows are tethered to the sky." (paragraph 10). Are you going to provide an analysis in Embrie's perspective to the reader? This sentence can be hard to understand for many readers. Unless you are going to reveal the true meaning further into the story as a breakthrough for your character, it's best to provide some context to where these words come from, and what they mean.

"I walked through the large lawn before I hesitantly clutched the doorknob." (paragraph 12). Is this sentence really necessary? These words do not contribute to the plot or really help transition into the next scene. You could skip these words and instead say something like: "Dread swirled in my stomach as I hesitantly clutched the doorknob, wondering what side of my mother I would see today." The part about walking through the lawn does not need to be added, and your readers will not gain anything by reading it.

"On the floor sat Paisley, cradling our mother in her arms." (paragraph 1). Here you are using passive voice, which can take away from the experience for your readers. It's best to describe the action directly. A way to rephrase this sentence would be: "Paisley sat on the floor, cradling our mother in her arms."

In paragraph 23, you wrote, "'Embrie, you mean the world to mom.'" There is a capitalization error here. "Mom" should be capitalized, because Noah is referring to their mom, not just a mom. So unless you put the word "our" in front of "mom," it should be capitalized. Correction: "'Embrie, you mean the world to Mom.'"

"Entangled in the warmth of her arms, was a teddy bear mother gave to her when she was two." (paragraph 28). There is an unnecessary comma in here because there is only one clause, not two. Along with that, "mother" should be capitalized. Correction: "Entangled in the warmth of her arms was a teddy bear Mother gave to her when she was two."

"I gazed out the window admiring the moon." (paragraph 29). There should be a comma separating the two clauses. Here in this sentence, one clause is that she gazes out the window. The second clause is that she is admiring the moon. Do you see why they should be separated? Correction: "I gazed out the window, admiring the moon."

In paragraph 30 you wrote, "I slept on the couch, now." There is an unnecessary comma. There is only one clause here, which is that she slept on the couch. Correction: "I slept on the couch now."

"I would take anything over the pain of those stupid pictures." (paragraph 30). You do a very good job at keeping your past tense consistent. However, there are a few slip-ups. The correction to this would be: "I would've taken anything over the pain of those stupid pictures." Make sure to go through your chapter thoroughly to catch these stray mistakes.

In paragraph 34 you wrote, "She was confused, judging by the look on her face." This sentence is slightly awkward. A better alternative to rephrase this sentence would be: "Judging by the look on her face, she was confused."

"'Here,' I turned to see Paisley holding out the can for me." (paragraph 37). There should be a period after the dialogue, not a comma. "I turned to see..." is a new sentence by itself, not part of the dialogue. Correction: "'Here.' I turned to see Paisley holding out the can for me."

In paragraph 38 you wrote, "But, we were and I had to accept that." The word "But" is not a clause by itself, so it does not need a comma after it. Correction: "But we were, and I had to accept that." Did you see how I moved the comma? The first clause is that she was admitting that they were alone, and the second clause is that she needed to accept that fact.

"A smile is a smile, though." (paragraph 41). Correction: "A smile was a smile though." I removed an unnecessary comma and fixed a tense slip up.

There are a lot of misplaced commas throughout your chapter that I didn't mention. I only mentioned a few so you could get the pattern. If you still need help with commas, message me privately and we can work on it together.

"We sat on the couch staring at the flickering television." (paragraph 1). There needs to be a comma here. There are two different clauses here. If you haven't guessed it already, the first one is that they sat on the couch. The second clause is that they stared at the television. Therefore, they need to be separated by a comma. "We sat on the couch, staring at the flickering television."

In paragraph 5, the word "TV" is actually an object and an acronym for television, and therefore should be capitalized.

Also in paragraph 5, you are describing the hair of the woman speaking. You are using the word "greased" to describe her hair, which makes it an adjective. Therefore, it should be converted into "greasy." Correction: "She wore a dark blue suit with her short, greasy black hair resting neatly above her shoulders." (I also removed an unnecessary comma).

When Embrie is dreaming of a person, she describes the person as "they." Unless this person is gender fluid, you should assign a proper pronoun to this mysterious person, such as "he" or "she." If you want to keep their gender a secret for now, you can also refer to the person as "the figure" or "the face."

"It was as if it melted all of my feelings into one." (paragraph 12). Here, you are referring to the person as an "it." This is not the correct pronoun, so either refer to the person as "he," "she," or "the person."

"I said wrapping my hand around a rotten apple and chucking it down the hill," (paragraph 16). There are two clauses here. The first clause is that she said something. The second clause is that she wrapped her hand around a rotten apple and threw it down the hill. There should be a comma separating the two. Along with that, the sentence should end with a period, not a comma. The dialogue that comes afterwards is not part of the same sentence. Correction: "I said, wrapping my hand around a rotten apple and chucking it down the hill."

In the same paragraph, when you start your second dialogue, I know it may seem like you are continuing the dialogue from earlier so it shouldn't be capitalized. However, this is incorrect. These are two different sentences, so even if she continues to talk, the first sentence in the dialogue should be capitalized. Correction: "'For weeks they let us ponder in misery..."

In paragraph 17 you wrote, "He nodded, 'I don't know.'" The comma you used before the dialogue is inaccurate. "He nodded" is a sentence by itself, and the dialogue "I don't know" is a sentence by itself. Correction: "He nodded. 'I don't know.'"

In paragraph 18, watch out for capitalization issues. The word "mother" should be capitalized because Embrie is referring to a specific person.

Paragraph 19. Make sure to capitalize "dad."

In paragraph 26, you wrote: "The stress got to them, too, like it usually did." There is an unnecessary comma. Correction: "The stress got to them too, like it usually did."

"'You can't be serious right now?'" (paragraph 31). This sentence is actually not a question. Embrie's mom phrases it as a statement. It should be written as "You can't be serious right now." If you wanted it to be a question, it should be written like this: "Are you serious right now?"

Look out for capitalization on the word "dad" in paragraph 32.

In paragraph 32, how do you know that Embrie's mom is taken aback with her foul language and lack of respect? Remember, the reader is in Embrie's head. As far as I know, Embrie does not read minds. If you want to let your readers know that Embrie's mom is surprised by Embrie's behavior, you can say something like: "Her eyes flashed to me, filled with shock at the way I've addressed her."

In paragraph 40, you described that Embrie "smirked" as she thought about how humanity disappeared to hide her sadness. However, the word "smirked" is a word to describe a playful smile, and does not clash well with the meaning of your words. A better alternative would be a "sad smile" or "grim smile."

"Westcove High wishing I could have graduated." (paragraph 41). I'm not sure what this sentence means. I think what happened here is you cut off the previous sentence short and started a new sentence with an unfinished thought. Correction: "I ran my fingers over my high school logo - Westcove High - wishing I could have graduated."