After what happened to his grandmother, Theo gave up playing the piano. But that seems destined to change when he lets kooky violinist Addy into his life.

{━━━⋆⋅☆♬☆⋅⋆ ━━━}

Ever since he lost his love for music, Theo Collins can't seem to find anything worth living for. And then he meets prima ballerina Saskia - his classmate at school and the most beautiful girl he's ever seen.

After the school meme queen Addy Alstreim finds out about Theo's feelings for Saskia, she offers to help him get closer to her - on account that he helps her get closer to her own crush - Cillian Catambay, musical theatre extraordinaire.

Theo tries his best to keep Addy at a distance but her infectious charm and thirst for life disrupt his impassive flow. And after he sees her play the violin for the first time, he can't help but wonder if he could learn to love the piano again...

What I love about your cover is that it represents what your story is about. The quarter/eighth notes and piano keys featured on the cover clearly represent what your story is about. A solid ten out of ten.

Just from reading your title, I can immediately make a connection from it to your blurb. I love how you've incorporated music into your title, but also hinted at emotional struggles your main character is going through, which then indicates at the plotline. Your title is unique and creative, and I'm in love with it!

One thing I like about your blurb is that it's clear and includes the main plot for your story. I can tell that you've put a lot of thought into writing your blurb and especially focused on not making any grammar/spelling mistakes. All you need to do now is shorten it. I know it may seem like it's the shortest it can be, but there are some things that can be removed. For example, you could even just keep the very beginning of your blurb and call it good. The main points that you need to remember is that Theo is struggling, Theo has a crush, and Addy has a crush, and somehow with incorporating music, these things are all related. How can you write two to three sentences outlining this? I suggest keeping your blurb here short and sweet, then you can provide your full synopsis in your story.

Your hook hooked me in. I really enjoyed the personal aspect you've incorporated into your hook, letting your emotions shine through your characters and bringing up a thoughtful realization for Alex. You dived straight into the action and I can see that you've thought long and hard about your hook. You immediately set the scene, the setting, and the people around the person's POV. The only thing is that your story is set in past tense, but you wrote in present tense in your first paragraph. I'll elaborate on that later during your chapter reviews.

While reading your first few chapters, I only caught two types of grammar errors that were consistent throughout your writing. First and foremost, your tense. Your story is set in past tense. However, you often slip up and write in present tense instead. I've pointed out a few of these mistakes during your chapter reviews, but I suggest that you go thoroughly through your writing on your own to catch the rest of these errors. Along with that, I've noticed that you often leave out a comma where it is needed. Commas are used to separate independent clauses, usually with a conjunction (and, or, but, so, nor, and so on). It indicates a break/soft pause. It can be hard to detect when a comma is actually needed (or not needed) in your writing, so I suggest using a writing site that focuses on your grammar and spelling mistakes. My personal favorite is ProWritingAid, because while it points out mistakes, I'm also learning to not make these mistakes on my own. ProWritingAid also points out different ways to tighten and restructure your sentences to make it easier for your readers to read. I like to use these own tips and also proof-read through my chapter to catch any major mistakes. After a bit of editing and rewriting, your story will be good to go!

I'm so impressed with the lack of spelling mistakes I've found! It's very clear that you focused on editing your work thoroughly and worked on your diction and catching any spelling mistakes. I don't have anything to offer here because it's clear that you are well on your own and don't need any help in this area.

Your plot is unique, original, and fun! I love the humorous twist you've put into it, and you've incorporated so many elements; such as addressing the idea of romanticizing mental illnesses and still making it a light-hearted story while showing your readers a darker side of your characters. You've spun so many ideas into one plot, and it's staggeringly beautiful.

While reading through your chapter, I definitely got a sense of Theo's dry humor, sarcasm, and stubborn personality. It's clear he doesn't like changes. It's always a sudden flip of the switch when you transition into Addy's POV, because she's so worried about everything and unintentionally funny; everything that Theo is not. I love the dynamics between the two, and it's easy to tell them apart from one another. One thing I'd suggest is developing the personalities of Addy's friends further, because it was hard to tell who was who. Try to differentiate them by establishing their personalities, and the different ways they speak. Along with that, just remember for when you write in the future that your characters should be developing throughout the story. Maybe by the end, Theo will learn that it's okay to have someone to lean on, and so on, and so forth. Along with that, this isn't necessary since you're already deep into your story, but in the future, try to write characters that have completely different names. You should always avoid writing two characters whose names start with the same letter (like Addy and Alex.)

I was definitely able to see through your writing style and discover who you were as a writer and a person behind the computer. The way you have your characters interact with one another and how you address certain issues really shows your passion for writing, and spreading awareness of certain things. Your writing voice is funny, unique, and I don't think I've read any other story quite like yours. You've accomplished what so many strive for. All you need to do now is nurture that voice and let it grow on its own. It'll take time, but you are definitely on the right path.

The thing I like about your story is how smooth your transitions are. You start off the scene by establishing the setting, the characters, and the mood. It immediately gives me a sense of security; because I know where I am in your story, and I know where your characters are in the story. It's hard to seamlessly transition from one scene to the next, so I'm impressed by how you've executed this in your writing!

"During junior year I had to come to terms with the fact that no matter how painful a memory or experience can be, it's all just gossip the second the students in your grade get a wind of it." (paragraph 1). I love this sentence. You've set the character's age and set the story in motion. The only problem here is that you switched from past to present tense here. Along with that, saying "students in your grade" is unnecessary. It can be hard to read for your readers. You can simplify this by replacing it with the school's name to further feed information to your readers. Correction: "During junior year, I had to come to terms with the fact that no matter how painful a memory or experience was, it was all just gossip the second students at _____ school got a wind of it." Did you also notice the comma I've added to separate the clauses?

I love the following dialogue you've added to let your readers know what the other students at school thought about the suicide attempt. It definitely did the job at riling me up, and you did wonderfully at playing with your readers' emotions.

"See what I mean?" (paragraph 19). This is written in present tense. Make sure to convert it into past tense to stay consistent. Correction: "See what I meant?"

"The teacher hadn't arrived yet but I silently took my seat—" (paragraph 22). By using the word "but," you are insinuating that there is a problem; a rebuttal to your first clause. I suggest replacing it with "and." Along with that, you are missing a comma to separate the clauses. Correction: "The teacher hadn't arrived yet, and I silently took my seat—"

"I suppose that was understandable." (paragraph 22). Here, I can see that you've tried to write this sentence in past tense. However, you forgot about "suppose." You need to convert it into "supposed."

"Not even Violet, who is the most caring, empathetic person I know." (paragraph 23). Again, you made a tense slip-up here. Words such as "is" and "know" should be changed to "was" and "knew."

In paragraph 25, you have another tense slip-up. Can you find it? (If not, feel free to ask me.)

In paragraph 28, I love the descriptions you've described for Theodore. You've painted a nice picture in my head about how he was good at things, but never good enough. Just remember to write out numbers, including height. "5'8" should be "five feet, eight inches tall" or "five-eight."

"There shouldn't even be an us." (paragraph 31). There is a tense slip-up here. Correction: "There shouldn't have even been an us."

In paragraph 35, you have another tense slip-up. "Might be" should be "Might've been"

Check paragraph 38 and 40, you have another tense slip-up.

In this chapter, I'm so thankful you've addressed the issue with people romanticizing topics such as depression and suicide. It's a serious thing that many people don't know how to react appropriately to, and your method of approaching this to your readers is beautiful.

"My head feeling like it was full of smoke, I looked around the classroom." (paragraph 61). I love your description here. Try adding to it. "Looked" can be replaced with a stronger description, such as "I stole a glance around the classroom" or "I scanned the classroom."

I love the ending of your prologue. You've tied it up nicely and brought the topic back to your plot.

I'm sorry, but I don't really have a long review for this one. The reason is that these are exchanges of emails, so it makes sense that your writing here is formal and rigid. This is good, because you made these emails sound professional and realistic. I like that you left out the descriptive language (since it is unnecessary here) and slyly inserted information about Theo, his musical achievements, and his current family matters. As I was looking, I found no grammatical or spelling errors, so I can tell you've gone back and thoroughly edited this chapter. One thing I'd suggest is to make this information more clear to your readers. It's likely that many of them will skip this chapter. Try shortening your emails (it may not be realistic, but it'll fit into the mold of your story) and go more into depth about Mrs. Collin's hospitalization.

Also, this is unrelated, but are you British? Because you didn't put periods after Mrs or Mr. It's not incorrect, it's just that I've noticed that while Americans like to put periods after Mrs or Mr, British people omit the period. (Correct me if I'm wrong, please). Anyway, moving on.

Your first few paragraphs of chapter one is absolutely lovely. I can really see the pain and complicated feelings you've expressed through Theodore. It really helped me imagine the pain he was going through and gave me a visual of what state of mind he was in at the time. Wonderful job with your descriptions, keep up the good work! Just keep in mind to stay consistent in your tense.

In paragraph 4, I suggest you write out the numbers. Say "ten" instead of "10," and "eleven" instead of "11." That way, your writing will look more professional and less lazy for your readers.

Same thing in paragraph 5. Try to write out numbers.

"I'd missed the tour that all new students are supposed to receive but that didn't really matter because the hallway was filled with other students my age who were all heading the exact same way." (paragraph 5). This is a run-on sentence. You need to add commas where the clauses should be separated. Along with that, you have a tense slip-up. Correction: "I'd missed the tour that all new students were supposed to receive, but that didn't really matter because the hallway was filled with other students my age who were all heading the exact same way."

In paragraph 7, remember to write out numbers (and you can just say "a thousandth of a second" or something like that) and to stay consistent in your tense.

Again, in paragraph 10, you slipped up with your tense. This happens frequently, so make sure to go through your chapters thoroughly to fix this mistake.

I enjoyed your descriptions in paragraph 15. I definitely got a visual for the students at school, the school itself, and how Theodore was feeling being where he was.

"The building had been gorgeous, but it wasn't the same kind of gorgeous as Alstreim." (paragraph 16). I love your description here, but you are missing a comma. Correction: "The building had been gorgeous, but it wasn't the same kind of gorgeous as Alstreim."

In Addy's POV, I love how automatically I can see how desperately she wants to fit in. You've established her character, her personality, her appearance, and even her friend's appearance. Great job!

From paragraph 67 to the end, you've converted your writing to present tense. Make sure to rewrite these into past tense so it fits with the rest of your story.

As always, a wonderful start to the chapter. It has a touch of humor and makes the reader want to know more.

I've found through reading your chapters so far that Theodore has his own way of speaking, whether it be in his thoughts or out loud. I've also been able to really see Addy's own voice shine through when you write. You've done a great job at really bringing your characters to life!

"Getting close to people had brought me only trouble in the past so I did my best to dissolve into my surroundings." (paragraph 4). You are missing a comma here. Keep in mind that commas are needed to separate different clauses, such as "first and then" kind of situations. In this sentence, your "first" would be that getting close to people brought Theodore trouble in the past, so the "then/solution" would be that now he tries to blend in with his surroundings. Correction" Getting close to people had brought me only trouble in the past, so I did my best to dissolve into my surroundings."

"If he didn't, wouldn't he have felt the need to start talking." (paragraph 22). Because this sentence is phrased as a question, there should be a question mark at the end as punctuation. Along with that, you are essentially saying that if he didn't feel sorry for Theodore, wouldn't he have started talking? Don't you mean that if he didn't feel sorry, then wouldn't he have not started talking?

"She stepped away from the mic, her heeled shoes clicking as she walked to her seat and then, the headmaster entered." (paragraph 36). The comma is misplaced here. Along with that, a better alternative to write this sentence would be to separate the clauses with a semicolon or simply start a new sentence. For example, "She stepped away from the mic, her heeled shoes clicking as she walked to her seat; then the headmaster entered."

In paragraph 55, I suggest you write out numbers so your readers will see your work as more professional and less lazy.

I liked my new name, I think it suited me, but I wasn't quite used to it yet and I'd forgotten about my name change on the first search." (paragraph 62). This sentence is very long. I suggest that you tighten this sentence and separate it into several sentences rather than just separating the clauses with commas.

I'm very impressed by your proper punctuation at the end of your dialogues and use of capitalization. At this point, I'm struggling to find mistakes to point out. Well done!

In paragraph 116, make sure to write "one-tenth" instead of "1/10).

"'Addy?' He repeated." (paragraph 4). "He repeated" is not a sentence by itself. It is a continuation of the dialogue sentence, so "H" should not be capitalized. Correction: "'Addy?' he repeated."

"The internet lies." (paragraph 13). Remember that your story is set in past tense. Correction: "The internet lied."

"'To tell you the truth, he wanted me to be there from the start of sophomore year but I was able to convince him to give me this one last month.'" (paragraph 42). You have a missing comma here. Correction: "'To tell you the truth, he wanted me to be there from the start of sophomore year, but I was able to convince him to give me this one last month.'" Remember that you need to separate your clauses, and with conjunctions (and, but, or, etc), commas are usually accompanied.

In paragraph 55, you have another tense slip-up. This happens often throughout your chapters. I won't point out all of them, because I'm hoping you'll see the pattern and be able to catch them on your own.

"It looked beautiful but now that I knew it was run by a madman, I wasn't sure if I could trust it." (paragraph 60). You are missing a comma here. This happens frequently along with the tense slip-ups, so I suggest that you turn your focus to these two points when you write in the future. Can you guess where the comma should go? If not, feel free to ask me and I will help you out.

In paragraph 64, you are missing another comma. Remember that commas are used to separate dependent/independent clauses/topics, so make sure to thoroughly read through your work and judge whether a comma is necessary or not. Again, if you can't see your mistake, don't be afraid to ask me!

"The first time I saw her she was crying." (paragraph 70). Another missing comma here. Correction: "The first time I saw her, she was crying."