"As she stared at that star, shining so much brighter than all the others with its tinted green glow, she couldn't think of any one wish that would fix everything she and the rest of her family had been through. So she squeezed her eyes shut and made the only wish she could think of.

'I wish wishes came true.'"

One night, Evelyn Myre got out of bed, planning to spend a peaceful night sleeping beneath the stars.

She makes it outside, alright, and she does, indeed, spend a night under the stars. But the night is far from peaceful. And the days that follow? Even stranger.

Eve is introduced to a world she never knew existed, with people she never imagined. And just as Eve is finally coming to terms with her discoveries, she realizes there's something else, something darker coming.

And it's worse than anyone imagined. Secrets are revealed and a cruel villain comes into play - a villain with a private agenda; a villain who will do anything to get what they want.

Now, on top of the pressure of navigating an entirely new world, Eve is told that she is something new and different, something that could fix everything - or ruin it. And the only one who can decide that is... her.

The days following the star incident will give Eve a mix of emotions: relieved. Angry. Terrified. Excited.

Because sometimes, wishes come true.

I can definitely see the connection here with your story and your title. However, it's lacking some creativity. In what ways can you position the font, color, and sizing? What about where to place the author's name instead of just at the bottom? You can leave it as it is, but I suggest getting more help on the cover by asking for one from a Wattpad cover maker. Your story is genuinely interesting and overlooked, and the cover could be part of why.

Here, I can already see the connection your title has with your story. It's an obvious lightbulb moment and draws in the right readers for your story. I'd like to mention that the title itself is a bit generic, however. It's vague, and readers might not have the best first impression upon seeing it. You can keep the title as it is, but I suggest that you be more open-minded with your title. As you write your story, think about any quotes or concepts that attract your attention; these may contribute to a title that really appeals to you.

I was pleased by the lack of grammatical errors you have in your blurb. However, your blurb is also long and confusing. You could restructure your sentences better and tighten them up. Along with that, you're revealing a lot of unnecessary information. Most of what you've written here could be removed. In addition, you have tense slip-ups here. Try to stay consistent with your tense, or potential readers might immediately catch onto your mistake. If your plot is that Eve makes a wish and her days become strange after that wish, then just leave it as that. Eve makes a wish, sleeps under the stars, and wakes up—only to realize things are different. And it isn't until she cracks under the pressure of navigating a new world that she realizes the only person who can change things...is her. Because sometimes, "wishes come true" [after all]. Do you see how I've summed up your blurb to the key points? Using your own writing style, I suggest you find a way to shorten your blurb, and give away your plot without giving away too much.

"When she was fourteen years old, Evelyn Myre accidentally swallowed a star." That is possibly one of the most hooking hooks I've ever read. It immediately intrigued me, and I was so pleased by the execution of your hook. Well done!

The main problem I'm seeing here is the amount of commas you have. While most people don't have enough commas, you have too many of them. It's good that you're separating each clause in a sentence, but this can get tricky in more advanced sentences, such as sentences with more than two clauses. In that case, you often have to get rid of a comma and meld two clauses together. This can be hard to wrap your head around, as to where the comma is unnecessary and where it applies to. So I suggest using ProWritingAid, because even I struggle with this problem as well, and this writing site will make suggestions to help you understand how to fix your mistakes.

The other small thing is that there were a few tense slip-ups throughout your chapters. It wasn't a lot, and I've pointed them out in your chapter reviews. There are also times when you have tense-shifted correctly, when you're writing the story as though recounting the details in the past. In this case, you can take breaks in your narrative to converse directly with your reader, since you're describing the past as though it already happened, and you're reflecting upon it as you go on. You did a good job at that, and I just wanted to point it out so you can keep that in mind in future writing.

While I didn't spot any typos or silly spelling mistakes, there were times where you've confused words with one another. For example, there was a case where you confused "when" and "where." When you're writing a sentence, I suggest that you look over your words carefully and see if you're using them correctly. ProWritingAid can also help with this. Otherwise, your document is cleanly edited, and I'm impressed!

Honestly, I've seen a few instances where a writer used this concept; of having their wishes come true, and it slowly turns into something they shouldn't have tampered with. However, while reading your story, I felt like I was relearning these things all over again. You executed the plot perfectly and dived straight into the action. The wish about the hair color and eye color changes were unique and fresh, and I had a good laugh while reading it!

The first thing I want to address is the physical descriptions of your characters. I loved how you gave a brief and simple description for each of them and also provided something for your readers to categorize them as; or just to remember them easier. For example, how you've written Oak as an anime like girl with a big personality. This made it a lot easier for me to remember, and the description of the mother was wonderful as well. You also made your characters relatable and sprinkled in some real-life situations. For example, you described Oak as wrinkling her nose when entering Eve's home, although she didn't mean to. This made your characters look much more realistic and showed many sides to a personality. I can also sense room for personality development here. So overall, your character building is flawless!

What I've noticed about your voice is that you write in a very factual way, but in this case, it actually works. I can see that this type of writing is your style, and it flows seamlessly with your story. You are very to the point and waste no time in dilly dallying with your descriptions. What I do recommend is making your paragraphs shorter - or separating them into more paragraphs. That way, it's easier for your readers to read, and not be tempted to skip past. I also suggest more prose. It doesn't hurt to weave in some figurative language and metaphors/similes. This will only enhance the flow of your writing and bring your readers deeper into your character's world.

You were very to the point in transitioning from scene to scene. Your transitions flowed very naturally. I have noticed some repetitive transition markings, such as the word "then." Don't be afraid to transition in a unique way! You can start by setting the scene, characters, or setting. You could start with your character's inner reflection, or with a dialogue. You could also recount the previous scene, and build upon it by layering the new details on top.

"It always felt this way, but, whether it was from her failed test at school earlier that day, the long night of babysitting for hardly any pay, which was emptier than it had been in weeks, she didn't have the energy to let more sleep go to waste before getting up and doing it all over again." (p.3). Can you see how this sentence is abnormally long? I suggest that you get rid of all the unnecessary commas and narrow down the list into at most three things. That way, you won't confuse your readers. Correction/Suggestion: "It always felt this way, but whether it was from her failed test at school earlier that day or the long night of babysitting for hardly any pay, she didn't have the energy to let more sleep go to waste before getting up and doing it all over again." (also, you have some extra lines after your first paragraph. This will probably confuse your readers, so I suggest you get rid of it).

"Nights, long ago, where her mother had held Eve tight in her arms next to a window, pointing out constellations and stars with eyes just as bright and joyful as the stars themselves." (p.6). Here, I suggest that you replace "where," with "when," since you're referencing time. Along with that, this sentence can be shortened and tightened. Correction/Suggestion: "Nights long ago, when her mother had held Eve tight in her arms as she pointed out the window at the constellations and stars, her eyes just as bright and joyful." I also suggest you replace "where," with "when," in your next sentence as well.

"All she knew was that she was tired of working, and being hungry at night, and getting bad grades because she didn't have time to study." (p.11). You have an unnecessary comma here. Correction: "All she knew was that she was tired of working and being hungry at night, and getting bad grades because she didn't have time to study." Generally, when your sentence has three clauses (or "topics,"), your first two are melded together as one clause to make room for your third.

"Her brain was screaming 'get out of here now before it crashes into earth and demolishes everything - including you!" (p.16). You should have a comma in between "screaming" and the dialogue here. Correction: "Her brain was screaming, 'get out of here now before it crashes into earth and demolishes everything - including you!"

"The star was flying towards her with speeds that were only heard of in sci-fi books - and she really didn't want to know what that meant for her." (p.16). Here, the word "star," is singular. However, you used the word "speeds," to be plural. Correction: "The star was flying towards her with a speed that was only heard of in sci-fi books - and she really didn't want to know what that meant for her."

"And, reacting on pure, stupid impulse, she swallowed." (p.18). You have an unnecessary comma here. Correction: "And reacting on pure, stupid impulse, she swallowed."

At the end of the chapter, you switched your narration voice. Make sure to keep your narration voice the same. If you wrote the chapter in third person, then I suggest you keep it that way instead of having a break to address your readers.

So you're writing chapter two in first person. In order to not confuse your reader or look unprofessional, I suggest that you convert your first chapter in first person as well.

"No matter how realistic it had seemed, that's all it was." (p.1). Despite what it looks like here, you have a tense slip-up here. This one's a tricky one. The word "that's" translates into "that is" which is present tense. Make sure to correct it and write it as "that was."

"I tried to clean when I could, but, truth be told, I was like every other teenager in the aspect that I hated it." (p.2). You have an unnecessary comma here. Correction: "I tried to clean when I could, but truth be told, I was like every other teenager in the aspect that I hated it."

"I tried to make DIY's when I could, from dollar store materials, and it did spice things up a little." (p.3). You have an unnecessary comma here. Correction: "I tried to make DIY's when I could from dollar store materials, and it did spice things up a little."

"Then I wrinkled my nose distastefully and entered the bathroom to start my daily routine." (p.4). Here, you're missing a comma. Correction: "Then, I wrinkled my nose distastefully and entered the bathroom to start my daily routine."

"They were a green that's so horrifying I felt like I might have a heart attack just from looking at them." (p.6). You have several tense slip-ups here. Keep in mind that while it's okay to tense-shift during a break in the passage when you converse directly when your readers, you should stay in past tense when narrating the actual part of your story. Correction: "They were a green so horrifying that I felt like I was going to have a heart attack just from looking at them." Did you also notice that I've restructured and tightened your sentence (optional)?

"No one but Oak and Miss Riley, one of my teachers, and of course my mom and brother, saw me." (p.14). I suggest using a hyphen here. Correction: "No one but Oak and Miss Riley - one of my teachers - and of course my mom and brother, saw me."

"I narrowed my eyes, even though I knew she couldn't see them." (p.18). Here, you have an unnecessary comma. Correction: "I narrowed my eyes even though I knew she couldn't see them."

"Her voice was tired, as always..." (p.4). Here, you have an unnecessary comma. Correction: "Her voice was tired as always..."

"It always soothed me to listen to it." (p.4). This sentence is awkward, and I suggest that you tighten/shorten it up by removing filler words. Suggestion: "It was always soothing to listen to."

"Then I took the bowls over to the sink and washed them with an internal scowl." (p.6). You're missing a comma here. Correction: "Then, I took the bowls over to the sink and washed them with an internal scowl." Along with that, I've also noticed that you often use transition words such as "then." I suggest that you refrain from using these and find more creative ways to move the scene alone.

"She gasped. I sighed." (p.15). These sentences are very basic and awkward. Is there another way you can rephrase this and add to this, or restructure the sentences? Suggestion: "I sighed at her startled gasp."

"'I really have no idea, mom. I just woke up this way." (p.21). Here, the word "mom" should be capitalized as Eve's referring to a specific person. Correction: "'I really have no idea, Mom. I just woke up this way."

"she bit her lip," (p.24). Here, the word "she" should be capitalized since it's the start of a new sentence. Along with that, the sentence should end in a period, since the following dialogue isn't a continuation of the sentence. Correction: "She bit her lip."

"'But, they're glowing!' She said, wringing her hands." (p.28). You have an unnecessary comma here, and the word "she" shouldn't be capitalized, as it's not the start of a new sentence. Correction: "'But they're glowing!' she said, wringing her hands."

"The rest of the day and the next passed without incident, except gasps from my mom whenever she saw me and small yips of shock from me whenever I looked in the bathroom mirror." (p.1). You're missing a comma here. Correction: "The rest of the day and the next passed without incident, except gasps from my mom whenever she saw me, and small yips of shock from me whenever I looked in the bathroom mirror."

"Since I usually came to her house to hang out, instead of the other way around, she wasn't really used to our circumstances as I was with hers." (p.5). You have an unnecessary comma here. Correction: "Since I usually came to her house to hang out instead of the other way around, she wasn't really used to our circumstances as I was with hers."

"My mom was still asleep, and she was a light sleeper now that she was more caught up on it and not completely exhausted." (p.6). This sentence is longer than it could be, and I suggest leaving out obvious information. Correction/Suggestion: "My mom was still asleep, and she was a light sleeper now that she was more caught up on it."

"It was still too dark outside for my friend to be able to see my hair and eyes, that was how early it was, and Oak looked ready to combust." (p.6). Here, I suggest that you leave out obvious information, or use a hyphen to make your sentence more clear to your readers. Correction: "It was still too dark outside for my friend to be able to see my hair and eyes - that was how early it was - and Oak looked ready to combust," or "It was still too dark outside for my friend to be able to see my hair and eyes, and Oak looked ready to combust."

"Then Oak groaned." (p.8). Missing a comma here. Correction: "Then, Oak groaned."

I've found that the word "gasped" is very repetitive throughout all of your chapters. I suggest finding new synonyms to replace it with, such as "gaped" or "sharply inhaled."

"She 'harrumphed' and folded her arms across her chest." (p.12). Here, I don't believe that the quotations around "harrumphed," are necessary here. Suggestion: "She harrumphed and folded her arms across her chest."

"I paused and blushed at the absolute absurdity of what I was about to suggest, but they were both looking at me eagerly now, and I'd already started the sentence." (p.13). This is a long sentence, and it can be tightened and restructured. Suggestion: "I paused and blushed at the absolutely absurdity of what I was about to suggest. But they were both looking at me eagerly now, and I'd already started the sentence."

"As usual, I slunk down in the back of class, only speaking when spoken to, only lifting my head when absolutely necessary." (p.25). Here, you're missing proper conjunction in between your clauses. These are independent, so they should have a conjunction. Correction: "As usual, I slunk down in the back of class, only speaking when spoken to and only lifting my head when absolutely necessary."

"She was, for once, quiet." (p.27). There's nothing wrong with this sentence here. But it's a bit awkward. Is there any way you can rephrase this? An example: "For once, she was quiet."