I read a brilliant quote once. The thing we must discuss more is the hunger not love. There are a lot of topics for us to write, but most of us write about teen fiction, love and magic. So I tried something different. You won't find fairy tale love stories in my collection. I invite you all to read some realistic stories. You will find yourself or someone close to you in any of these stories.

How can you experiment with the photo used for the cover? What filters can you add, and how can you crop it in an interesting way? What about how you present your title? The font of your title should be matching your genre, but your title font is actually closer to a whimsical, almost romantic genre. I suggest finding a font that corresponds well with your photo, and find a better way to present it in terms of placement, style, and sizing.

Your title is on the longer side, but I think that as this is a book full of short stories, it does represent it well and shows that this isn't just one story. It definitely draws me in and piques my curiosity, along with accurately representing this book; which is essentially your emotions, dreams, and ideas that are put into play.

You did a good job at expressing and representing what this was about, but there were a few sentences that were awkward and could be rephrased. If "The thing we must discuss more is the hunger not love," is the actual quote, then there should be quotations around it. If not, you should put the actual quote there. If you choose not to, then you should rewrite this as, "The thing we must discuss more than love is hunger." Other than that, I was impressed by the concise way you expressed what you wanted, what you wrote about, and what you hoped would come out of it.

Most of your hooks were very weak. Although you dove straight into the stories, there were either grammatical errors, or it seemed like you didn't think long about how to introduce the story. This is very important, as readers can feel free to leave after looking at the first sentence. Therefore, I suggest taking the time to focus on the composition of your hooks. How can you make them more intriguing?

You often have repetitive and frequent grammar mistakes. Most of them are your punctuation with the dialogue, and your capitalization mistakes related to dialogue. If your dialogue is accompanied with a dialogue tag (he said, she yelled, they shouted, describing the way someone says something), the dialogue tag is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. For example, it doesn't make sense for the clause, "She said," to be a sentence by itself. This is also a perfect example of a dependent clause, because while it has a subject and a predicate, it doesn't make sense by itself; it depends on the dialogue to make sense. Therefore, it's part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue should end in a comma to indicate that the sentence isn't complete, and the start of a dialogue tag is not capitalized, as it's not the start of a new sentence. The opposite goes for action tags. If your dialogue is accompanied by an action tag (she grinned/he sighed/they walked away, basically an action), the action should not be part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue doesn't help the action tag make sense; the action tag should be a sentence by itself. Therefore, the dialogue should end in a period to signify the end of the sentence, and the start of the action tag should always be capitalized, as it's the start of a new sentence. Of course, the punctuation may vary. Exclamation marks and question marks can end a dialogue regardless of the tag accompanying it, as long as if it's a dialogue tag, the dialogue never ends in a period, and for an action tag, it never ends in a comma.

Example of dialogue + dialogue tag: "'I'm okay,' she said." OR "She said, 'I'm okay.'"

Example of dialogue + action tag: "'I'm okay.' She forced a smile." OR "She forced a smile. 'I'm okay.'"

You also had a lot of comma mistakes. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence, whether they're independent or dependent. An independent clause has a subject (who/what is doing the action) and a predicate (the action being done by the subject). Oftentimes, a sentence has two independent clauses, joined together with a conjunction. In the sentence, "I cried then Billy ran away," there are two independent clauses here. One is, "I cried," and the other is, "Billy ran away." Both have a subject and a predicate, and they're joined together by the conjunction, "then." Because of this, the two clauses still need to be separated with a comma, the correction being: "I cried, then Billy ran away."

Dependent clauses are just like independent clauses: they also have a subject and a predicate. However, dependent clauses are exactly like what they sound like; they're dependent on another clause. They don't make sense by themselves. For example, the clause, "I decided not to," has both a subject and a predicate, but it needs more context to make sense. There should be another clause attached or a sentence before it that it depends on making sense. When joined to another clause with a conjunction, the dependent clause should still be separated with a comma as well.

Commas are also used to separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," where the subject is "I," and the predicate/action is "went to work." The word "today" is not included in the clause, and therefore should be separated with a comma. The correction would be: "Today, I went to work." This is a lot of information to take in, but try to keep these rules in mind for the next time you're writing.

I also found that you excluded punctuation from the dialogue. The punctuation needs to be included in the dialogue for it to be accurate. You also had several tense problems. If you choose to write in present tense, don't slip up and write in past tense. You had these kinds of mistakes often, so I suggest carefully editing and proof-reading your writing before posting.

I found many instances where you used questionable filler words, included unnecessary filler words, and even misspelled the names of your own characters. I suggest slowing down when you write, and correct a spelling error as soon as you spot one. That way, you won't forget about it later. Anyway, I've pointed out a few of these mistakes in your chapter review, but the rest is up to you to find.

I enjoyed the dark narratives here. You approached concepts that not many writers are willing to even acknowledge, and your thinking/message with each story was very deep and meaningful. I took off two points because it seemed at times that your writing was very one-sided, as though a character in particular only had one way of thinking. Keep in mind that humans are very complex, and there are often several sides that they fight through with themselves. Even if they make a decision, they can still doubt it. Try to show different sides with your characters, and how one might argue with oneself.

My advice here is the same as I've mentioned above. Although your stories were very powerful, your characters weren't. I understand that maybe this was because the protagonist here could be anybody; which is why you didn't bother with physical or internal descriptions. But it's still good to establish emotions. How can you personify fear? How can you turn anxiety and sadness into a living thing? That way, you can bring your characters to life.

Although you had a powerful way of spreading certain messages with each short story, there were still hiccups along the way. Just by cleaning up your grammar errors will improve your writing voice drastically. Along with that, you also used weak words, such as "got" and "went." They don't invoke emotion, unlike "sprinted" or "sauntered." I suggest finding stronger verbs, and look for ways to incorporate metaphors, similes, and sensory detail.

For the most part, your story flowed very nicely. There were a few times where I was confused with how you addressed a scene, and I've pointed them out below. Make sure to read over each story to make sure that it makes sense and don't dismiss awkward transitions.

"But she cannot unsee what she had seen a minute before." (p.1). You have a tense slip-up here. Keep in mind that this story should stay in past tense. Correction: "But she couldn't unsee what she had seen a minute before."

"There were no windows. It was dark in there. Somebody locked her inside." (p.1). If you read this passage out loud, you'll find that it sounds stilted and awkward. The reason for this is that each sentence has around the same words and syllables. How can you make one sentence longer than the rest? What about describing the darkness? How can you personify it, and how did she feel?

"Someone said inside her head. 'Don't open the door ever. You will be locked in the room forever'." (p.1). "Someone said inside her head" is a dialogue tag, and should be continuing the dialogue sentence. I also suggest rephrasing the first dialogue sentence, as it sounds awkward and almost sounds like a rhyme scheme with the next sentence. Correction/Suggestion: "Someone said inside her head, 'Don't ever open the door. You will be locked in the room forever.'" Did you notice how I included the punctuation inside the dialogue as well, not the outside? I also suggest starting a new paragraph with this, as paragraph 1 is long enough already.

"It was strange, it was her voice, she was hearing in the dream." (p.1). I suggest splitting these clauses into separate sentences, and you have an unnecessary comma. Correction/Suggestion: "It was strange. It was her voice she was hearing in the dream."

In paragraph 2, you mentioned the color "yellow," twice. That isn't a lot of repetition, but what other words can you use in place of "yellow"? Examples can be buttercup, lemon-yellow, etc.

In paragraph 3, I suggest replacing the second "Merry" with simply the proper pronoun, "her." Along with that, the, "I called out," should actually be part of the next sentence in the next paragraph. The correction is: "I called out, 'Neil, remember...'"

You seem to use proper nouns more than proper pronouns in your writing. I suggest refraining from using this technique. It sounds repetitive and stilted. If you already wrote, "Rain," in one sentence, you can write, "she" or "her" in the next.

In paragraph 6, I suggest writing out numbers. That way, your writing will look more professional and less lazy to your audience.

"What gift you want from us." (p.7). This is a question, so it should be phrased as such. You are also missing a filler word. Correction: "What gift do you want from us?"

"Then she remembered the dream." (p.8). The independent clause here is, "she remembered the dream," and the subject is "she," while the predicate is that she "remembered." The word "then," is an introductory word that isn't part of the main clause. Therefore, it should be separated from the main clause. Correction: "Then, she remembered the dream."

"You and mom." (p.11). "Mom" should be capitalized, as there isn't a possessive noun in front of it, so Rain is referring to a specific person. Along with that, punctuation should go within the dialogue, not after the dialogue marks. Correction: "You and Mom." In the next paragraph, you should also capitalize, "rain."

"Prince Felix was staring at the parchment, Liana has given him before her journey to the Haldiva, her kingdom." (p.1). You have an unnecessary comma here, as well as an unnecessary definite article. Correction: "Prince Felix was staring at the parchment Liana has given him before her journey to Haldiva, her kingdom." I also suggest writing out the number "twelve."

In the beginning of paragraph 2, you are missing quotation marks. Along with that, I was also confused at the abrupt scene change, and it took me a moment to realize that the first paragraph was part of a story read by the real protagonist and friends. I suggest that when your protagonist is reading out the story, italicize it to make things less confusing.

"'... but this one you read, it is stupid'. Aida talked..." (p.5). You're missing a filler word, and you have the wrong punctuation at the end of the sentence. If you use a period, it should be inside the dialogue, not outside. The period here should also be a comma, as "Aida talked..." is a continuation of the sentence. In addition, I suggest writing, "Aida talked..." as "Aida said..." as it makes more sense and adds more fluidity to your story. Correction: "'... but this one you're reading, it is stupid,' Aida said..."

"Four of us went to the field and we had a hard time, while you were eating that dumb book..." (p.8). You have an unnecessary comma here, and I believe you misspelled the word, "reading," as "eating." Correction: "Four of us went to the field, and we had a hard time while you were reading that dumb book..."

"'It's your job'. Ron interrupted." (p.11). Again, the punctuation should be within the dialogue. Along with that, the dialogue is accompanied with a dialogue tag, which is a continuation of the sentence. By ending it with a period, you're essentially saying that "Ron interrupted" is the start of a new sentence, which is incorrect. Correction: "'It's your job,' Ron interrupted."

"Friday, I will tell the staff, you did nothing and Ms Diana is looking for a reason to give you trouble." (p.13). You have misplaced commas here. Correction: "Friday, I will tell the staff you did nothing, and Ms Diana is looking for a reason to give you trouble."

"... and her head got hit on a signboard." (p.16). This sentence is phrased in an awkward way. You're also using passive voice here, meaning you're saying that something was done, rather than directly stating the action and saying that something happened. Suggestion: "... and her head hit a signboard." Or even better: "... she bumped into a signboard."

In paragraph 21, "O" should be spelled out as "Oh."

"One more chapter dad." (p.25). You're missing a comma, and you should capitalize "dad" as there is no possessive noun in front of it. Correction: "One more chapter, Dad."

"No, Liana said he won't go with him and she took the offer of the wizard..." (p.34). You're using the wrong proper pronoun here. Correction: "No, Liana said she won't go with him, and she took the offer of the wizard..." I also added in a necessary comma.

"Slowly the kingdom starved." (p.1). In this sentence, you have a clause and an introductory word. The main clause is "the kingdom starved," and it's an independent clause as it has a subject "the kingdom" and a predicate "starved." Therefore, the word "slowly" isn't included in the clause, and should be separated with a comma. Correction: "Slowly, the kingdom starved."

"'Yes, they all are going to get punished'." (p.5). Another reminder here that the punctuation should always be inside the dialogue. Correction: "'Yes, they all are going to get punished.'"

"He will do that. He must warn them. Hin said in his mind." (p.9). Here, it doesn't make sense for "Hin said..." to be its own sentence. Correction: "He will do that. He must warn them, Hin said in his mind." I also italicized the thoughts, although that's optional.

"They all are thin." (p.10). Remember that this story is set in past tense, but you had a tense slip-up here and wrote in present. Correction: "They all were thin."

"His mother said, getting drunk is a sin and no act of repentance can eradicate that sin." (p.11). You have an unnecessary comma here, you need a comma in a certain place, and this sentence should be converted into past tense. Correction: "His mother said getting drunk was a sin, and no act of repentance could eradicate that sin."

"Fin almost forgot..." (p.12). Shouldn't this be "Hin"?

"'What is this?' She asked..." (p.13). Since "She asked..." is a dialogue tag, it is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. The beginning of the dialogue tag shouldn't be capitalized, as it isn't the start of a new sentence. Correction: "'What is this?' she asked..."

"He wont fell in his trap." (p.25). This sentence doesn't make sense, and you need an apostrophe in "wont" to say, "won't" as in "will not." Correction: "He won't fall in their trap." Consider that you should convert this into past tense as well.

"Their rough voice has shaken Hin." (p.27). Since this is more than one policeman, you need to write "voice" as plural, and conjugate "shaken" in a shorter and more accurate form. Correction: 'Their rough voices shook Hin."

"His mother was talking to the neighbors who has crowded..." (p.29). Since "neighbors" is plural, you need to conjugate the word "have" correctly to fit with the form, as "has" is a conjugated form of "have" but in a singular form. Correction: "His mother was talking to the neighbors, who have crowded..." I also added a necessary comma.

"The paper boat is ready." (p.1). Your story is set on past tense, so make sure to convert this into past tense. Your entire first paragraph is mixed with present and past tense, so make sure to correct these. I also suggest separating this paragraph into several paragraphs, or readers will skip over some information.

"The boats became more perfect than it is used to be." (p.2). The word "is" is unnecessary here. Correction: "The boats became more perfect than it used to be."

"'They will go far'. He said in a different language and they watched it floating to an unknown land with their hands locked together." (p.3). The beginning of the dialogue tag shouldn't be capitalized, as it's not the beginning of a new sentence. The punctuation should be within the dialogue, and replaced with a comma as it's not the end of a sentence. You also need to properly conjugate a word and add a comma. Correction: "'They will go far,' he said in a different language, and they watched it float to an unknown land with their hands locked together."