In a world, where superheroes are illegal, Alisha is forced to put on her super suit.

Alisha has always been in her sister's shadow but when Nova gets kidnapped by the notorious Black Void, it's up to Alisha to save her.

Will Alisha be able to save the kidnapped heroes? What happens when a certain supervillain comes into her life? Will Alisha be able to control her powers?

I appreciate the color scheme used and the representation your cover has for the story. It looks very clean, minimalistic, and professional. The only complaint I have is that the first half of the title is hard to see, but I'm just being picky here.

I think your title is very simple and portrays your story/genre very well. There are several stories on Wattpad that have the same title (or a variation of the same title) as this one, however. This is a basic, obvious title choice that one would turn to when blank on options. I suggest keeping your mind open to new title suggestions. A title could be a metaphorical phrase that's important to your story, a symbolic object, or a character's name. In this case, you could include the city of your protagonist, or have it be a reference of something related to superheroes. You can also look at other Wattpad stories about superheroes to get inspiration for creative titles.

For the most part, I appreciated how clean and concise your blurb was. There was one grammar error I caught; in your first sentence, the comma isn't necessary as "In a world where superheroes are illegal" is one clause, not two. Additionally, I found that you were lacking in some parts. You could provide more background information for potential readers. For example, it was only subtly mentioned that Alisha's sister was a superhero. You also said, "Will Alisha be able to save the kidnapped heroes?" which means that her sister wasn't the only one kidnapped. You included the triggering action, but not the reaction afterward. What changed, and how did that make your protagonist react? What about the obstacles? You could hint at her powers for suspense and provide more information about the potential antagonist or love interest.

This was a great way to start your story off. By mentioning the time passing, you're giving your audience a sense of urgency and providing the current mood of your protagonist and start of your story. Right off the bat, however, I noticed two errors. One is that you didn't write out the numbers. While it's not necessary, by not writing out the numbers, you could be breaking the flow of the story, and there are picky readers who'd point out that in a traditionally published story, numbers are typically written out from one to ten. It's better to be safe than sorry. Additionally, you have a tense slip-up. It looks like your story is set in past tense, but you used the word "that's", which is a contraction for "that is." That is present tense, when in reality, it should be in the past form, "that was." You could also use this opportunity to show off your writing capabilities. As a reader, I would have appreciated more description surrounding the current atmosphere, setting, and urgency. This could also have helped fill in a visual for your characters to your audience and set up the rest of the chapter.

You struggled with your punctuation and capitalization with dialogues. If your dialogue is accompanied with a dialogue tag (he said, she yelled, they shouted, describing the way someone says something), the dialogue tag is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. For example, it doesn't make sense for the clause, "She said," to be a sentence by itself. Therefore, it's part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue should end in a comma to indicate that the sentence isn't complete, and the start of a dialogue tag is not capitalized, as it's not the start of a new sentence. The opposite goes for action tags. If your dialogue is accompanied by an action tag (she grinned/he sighed/they walked away, basically an action), the action should not be part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue doesn't help the action tag make sense; the action tag should be a sentence by itself. Therefore, the dialogue should end in a period to signify the end of the sentence, and the start of the action tag should always be capitalized, as it's the start of a new sentence. Of course, the punctuation may vary. Exclamation marks and question marks can end a dialogue regardless of the tag accompanying it, as long as if it's a dialogue tag, the dialogue never ends in a period, and for an action tag, it never ends in a comma.

Example of dialogue + dialogue tag: "'I'm okay,' she said." OR "She said, 'I'm okay.'"

Example of dialogue + action tag: "'I'm okay.' She forced a smile." OR "She forced a smile. 'I'm okay.'"

You had a lot of comma mistakes. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence, whether they're independent or dependent. An independent clause has a subject (who/what is doing the action) and a predicate (the action being done by the subject). Oftentimes, a sentence has two independent clauses, joined together with a conjunction. In the sentence, "I cried then Billy ran away," there are two independent clauses here. One is, "I cried," and the other is, "Billy ran away." Both have a subject and a predicate, and they're joined together by the conjunction, "then." Because of this, the two clauses still need to be separated with a comma, the correction being: "I cried, then Billy ran away."

Dependent clauses are just like independent clauses: they also have a subject and a predicate. However, dependent clauses are exactly like what they sound like; they're dependent on another clause. They don't make sense by themselves. For example, the clause, "I decided not to," has both a subject and a predicate, but it needs more context to make sense. There should be another clause attached or a sentence before it that it depends on making sense. When joined to another clause with a conjunction, the dependent clause should still be separated with a comma as well.

Commas are also used to separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," where the subject is "I," and the predicate/action is "went to work." The word "today" is not included in the clause, and therefore should be separated with a comma. The correction would be: "Today, I went to work." This is a lot of information to take in, but try to keep these rules in mind for the next time you're writing.

I noticed the amount of comma splices used as well. A comma splice is joining two different independent clauses together, and separating them with a comma, but not a conjunction. An example of this is: "I went to work, I drove in my car." These are two different independent clauses, "I went to work" and "I drove in my car." They both have predicates and subjects, and are separated with a comma. However, you must separate them with a conjunction as well. Without a conjunction, this turns into a comma splice. You have two options in this case. You can either replace the comma with a period and turn it into two different sentences, or add in a conjunction. In this case, the correction can be, "I went to work, and I drove in my car," or "I went to work. I drove in my car." You have many cases of comma splices in your writing, which I've pointed out for you. There were many that I haven't pointed out, so make sure to do that.

You often slipped up in your tense. Whether your story is set in past or present tense, you need to pick one and stay in it. If you're in past tense, you should use words such as "didn't" and "wanted." If you're writing in present tense, you should use, "don't" and "want." I've shown a few examples where you slipped up your tense below, so keep this rule in mind for future writing.

I was impressed by the lack of misspellings/typos in your writing. I can see the effort put into editing/proof-reading. There's not much to be said in this area, but I do suggest expanding your vocabulary and experimenting with your diction. What synonyms can you find for common words that spice up your writing?

Your plot so far is going strong. I got the general gist and mood of your story. However, you were missing several elements. This is a superhero story, meaning most readers are looking for suspense, adrenaline, and danger. In the five chapters I've read so far, it was hard for me to become invested based on those factors. In the several times your protagonist was potentially in danger, you could have expanded on her emotions and the settings to heighten the connection with your readers. For example, when the supervillain suddenly drops her, you could describe the wind rushing through her ears, the sudden realization that she could potentially die, and her reaction. While I understand your character is flippant and a no-nonsense type of person, it's still necessary to show that she could have been ruffled from the experience, such as being shocked, then angry. You also didn't have a lot of world-building. I don't have a lot of information about where she lives, or the superhero society. Additionally, despite it being her sister who is missing, you didn't focus on that as much as you should have. I didn't feel the urgency from your protagonist, and a few times forgot about the missing sister entirely. Make sure to add that level of urgency and remind your readers of the main point throughout your story.

As I've mentioned earlier, you need to provide more emotions and reactions within your protagonist (and the other characters as well). Your characters aren't lacking in the personality department, but you tend to provide vague details/descriptions of scenes. You want your audience to relate with, sympathize, and connect with your characters. That means whenever something happens, you should have your characters react and reflect appropriately based on the scene. In fact, since this is a reading experience, I suggest playing it up to show your readers that this may or may not mean something to your protagonist. Instead of just saying that someone was crying, describe the feeling. Add metaphors and similes. Describe the overwhelming feeling of helplessness your characters might have felt. You want to make your readers cry with the characters. You struggled with expanding on the emotions, so in the future (and when you're editing), show, don't tell.

I had a lot of fun reading through your first five chapters, especially because of your writing voice! You built up your character to be witty and humorous, and it helped me connect with you as the author on another level. You have a simple, distinct writing style. The grammatical errors and brief descriptions do take away from your writing style, however. For now, focus on cleaning up your writing and expanding on scenes when necessary. Then you can begin to further advance your writing style. That means incorporating sensory detail, figurative language, and metaphors/similes. Adding this artistic style to your writing can make your voice memorable, and your readers won't just stay for the story, but also your writing.

For the most part, I had no trouble with your story pacing. Each scene was appropriately timed, and I didn't feel that you rushed or slowed down parts when unnecessary. I took off a point because again, there are some parts where you need to expand. Some of the more emotional and important scenes were too vague. In this case, I suggest slowing down, focusing on adding to the power of the emotional aspect, and when you're happy with what you have, you can leave it as it is.

"Usually, she'd at least call or be on the news giving an interview or something." (p.3). You could rephrase this sentence, and you need a comma here. "Or something" is a phrase ending the clause, but it isn't part of the actual clause itself. Therefore, it should be separated with a comma. Additionally, it's awkward to say "on the news giving an interview." Instead, I suggest shortening and tightening this. Correction/Suggestion: "Usually, she'd at least call or be featured on a news interview, or something."

"I wish I could help her but for some reason, she wouldn't let me." (p.4). You're missing a comma here, and you slipped up in your tense. Keep in mind that you're writing in past tense, not present. Correction: "I wished I could help her, but for some reason, she wouldn't let me."

"It was a little unnerving seeing her like this, usually she'd be the one grilling me..." (p.6). You have a comma splice here. A comma splice is when you combine two independent clauses together with a comma, but without a conjunction. To correct this, you should either replace the comma with a period, or add in an appropriate conjunction. Correction: "It was a little unnerving seeing her like this. Usually she'd be the one grilling me..." OR "It was a little unnerving seeing her like this, as usually she'd be the one grilling me..."

"I simply nodded and made my way past her and my father who was now pacing the living room." (p.7). You're missing a few commas in this sentence. I suggest removing "simply" as it's a filler word, and by excluding it, readability can be enhanced. You also have a repetition with the word "now." In the paragraph earlier, you used the same sentence structure to say her mother "now stood by my room's door." This is similar to "... who was now pacing the living room." I suggest avoiding repetition like this and don't use passive voice to describe things. Correction/Suggestion: "I nodded, and made my way past her and my father, who paced the living room."

"A hint of annoyance in his voice." (p.8). This is not a complete sentence. While you have a subject, you don't have the predicate (action). You need to say that there was annoyance in his voice, or the annoyance in his voice did something. Correction: "There was a hint of annoyance in his voice."

In paragraph 13, make sure to write out numbers from 1 to 10 to enhance readability and not break the flow of the story.

"'I wouldn't be here if she were picking her calls up, David.' I stated matter-of-factly." (p.16). You have the incorrect punctuation at the end of your dialogue here. Since there's a dialogue tag accompanying the dialogue, this is one whole sentence, and should be separated by a comma, not a period. Additionally, "were" should be "was," since "she" is one person, and the word should be conjugated to fit the singular form. Correction: "'I wouldn't be here if she was picking up her calls, David,' I stated matter-of-factly." Notice how I also did a bit of rephrasing here.

"'No, it's fine you can tell us....'" (p.21). You need a comma, since "it's fine" and "you can tell us" are two independent clauses. Correction: "'No, it's fine, you can tell us....'"

"David was now sitting by the sidewalk crying." (p.29). You need a comma here. Correction: "David was now sitting by the sidewalk, crying." Also, you can spot the repetition here again with the word and structure-use of "now." I suggest fixing it to not be repetitive.

"'Alisha's right.' Glare stated. While David kept shaking his head and crying." (p.34). Again, because of the dialogue tag, the period in the dialogue should be replaced with a comma. Additionally, the second sentence is technically incomplete, as it's a continuing thought for the first one. Correction: "'Alisha's right,' Glare stated while David kept shaking his head and crying."

"Is she ok? Will she even come back? What do I tell my parents? Maybe I can help the other heroes, maybe this is my chance to finally prove myself." (p.2). Here, "ok" is a shortened version of "okay." If you choose not to spell out the full word, you should capitalize it to be "OK." Additionally, you wrote this all in present tense. If these are thoughts in her head, then I suggest keeping it as it is and italicizing it instead. If not, then these need to all be converted to past tense. You also have a comma splice here. Correction: "Was she OK? Would she even come back? What would I tell my parents? Maybe I could help the other heroes. Maybe this was my chance to finally prove myself."

"'Hello, Earth to Alisha,' He said, snapping his fingers in my face." (p.5). This is one whole sentence. The dialogue tag is a continuation of the dialogue sentence, so "he" shouldn't be capitalized, as it's not the start of a new sentence. Correction: "'Hello, Earth to Alisha,' he said, snapping his fingers in my face." This mistake happens often throughout this chapter, so make sure to thoroughly edit this part.

"Wait a minute, aren't you, Tyrant..." (p.9). You have an unnecessary comma here. Correction: "Wait a minute, aren't you Tyrant..." In paragraph 10, make sure to maintain your professional side by writing out numbers.

"I started feeling bad for him, it's not every day you meet an annoying supervillain." (p.18). You have a comma splice here. You also have a tense slip-up. Keep in mind that you should stay in the tense you choose, and in this case, it's past tense. Correction: "I started feeling bad for him. It wasn't every day you met an annoying supervillain."

"Well shit." (p.30). I love the humor here! Also, you need a comma. Correction: "Well, shit."

"So, to distract myself and possibly catch the attention of an actual superhero I started screaming." (p.32). You need a comma here. Correction: "So, to distract myself and possibly catch the attention of an actual superhero, I started screaming."

"'Can you stop screaming, you've already deafened half the people in our city.' Tyrant said while putting a hand on my mouth to muffle me." (p.36). Since a part of the dialogue is phrased as a question, I suggest adding punctuation to make it read so. You need to replace the period at the end of the dialogue with a comma because the dialogue tag is part of the sentence. Additionally, I suggest replacing "on" with "over." Correction: "'Can you stop screaming? You've already deafened half the people in our city,' Tyrant said while putting a hand over my mouth to muffle me."

"I simply glared at him..." (p.37). While this only happened once or twice since the last time I saw this, the word "simply" caught my attention. Again, you've used this particular sentence structure before. The word "simply" here is unnecessary and doesn't contribute to the current scene.