"She deserves it!"I told myself after berating her.

I maintained a tight grip on my chair with both my hands to stop myself until she leave my room, so that my traitorous legs might make their way to her, my stupid hands might not hug her and touch her and assure her that I didn't mean whatever sh*t I said to her.

She deserves my every fu*king insult for cheating on me, for trapping me into her web of lies.

Then why?

Then why I feel like I should f**king kill myself for being a jerk to her!

Why?

Then why I feel like I should throttle my neck whenever I showed her right place to her!

Why? Being with her or seeing her everyday makes my inner-self calm where as her disappearance makes me tense, afraid and weak.

I was a happy man before. I f**king never cared about others falling but now...

Life has its own way of showing us what it is capable of. I've never thought or expected myself to be in a tight spot that I'm currently in.

I loved her.

I loved her even after knowing what a dreadful thing love is! I know love only leads to hurt, betrayal but my fucking heart has a brain of its own!!!

I know still loving her makes no sense! But I still do.

We may not have had a long period of dating nor did we sleep with each other but still my feelings for her are very strong that I'm surprised that her profession meant nothing to my heart.

It mattered to me but... like my grandma always says, a heart knows better.

The past month was not something very pleasant to me to live. Sienna and her secret was not the only problem but my feelings for her are getting on my nerves too.

These feelings are budding even more since she started living with me. Though all I do is to insult her and hurt her, I also fall into a seamless depth of questions on I am doing exactly what I am doing.

Is it because I use to have very deep feelings for her that I hurting her, or is that I still have feeling for her that I'm trying to show her how helpless I've become?

"S-sir, Mr. Ricci is on the line, wants to talk to you about the shipping project." She said softly with her held eyes held low entering to my cabin again.

All these days of one whole month, I didn't see her looking into my eyes and talking. Her face was always filled with despair, hurt, pain and defeat.

I nodded at "Arrange refreshments for Mr. Hedgewood and give all the shipping details while I join in the meeting in ten minutes." She nodded her head slowly and was about to go out and I continued, "Oh, And also, Do not show your real face to him. I have a reputation to hold in society. Be discrete at your sexual interests."

I nodded slightly but I can see the tears are ready to fall from her eyes. I can see that she's fighting hard to keep herself from crying which made me want to go to her and hug her and whisper that everything will be alright.

But I held myself from doing that reliving the moments of being betrayed. I wish this was easy for me.

Once outside, I saw her staggering and hurriedly leaning towards a wall. I immediately went towards her and was about to get her into my arms but resisted myself from doing so.

"Such a Drama Queen. Did you even have your breakfast?" I asked harshly concealing my worry behind it. She just looked at me with a scared look but nodded slightly yet again dropping her gaze down towards the ground.

What happened to her?

Is she alright?

She's short and puny but she was healthy woman too so what happened suddenly that she's feeling dizzy.

"Then why are you Tango-ing around in my lobby?" I gritted half heartedly because I am worried sick for her.

Her face looked extremely pale as if she had low supply of blood in her body. She looks sick.

"I-I- I'm okay. Thank you. I promise I will not let this happen again."

Am I being so much of a brute that she's hiding her sickness too?

"Well then, get your stuck up face back to the mansion right now. I don't want you falling here and be blamed for working my employees to death." I gave her a disgusted look while all I felt was immense pain and concern.

Where have we reached in our life, Lilliput! I just wanted you all for myself forever and now you are with me for lifetime yet you are not mine.

How conundrum-able!

"No, that's not necessary, sir." She started but I'm too irritated and anxious that I cut her off with a growl and looked dead at her.

"So it was all an act, isn't it? To trap me and make me pity you. Am I not right?" I scowled knowing too well that she was genuine. I just want to send her to the safe of my house where there are servants to carter to her.

I... I just want her out of here. I don't want her unwell. I –I – I don't know what I should do with these confusing feelings.

"Get your things and leave right away. I don't want your pale ugly and unhealthy face here" I fisted my hand tightly trying to sound as cruel as I can.

For a fraction of second, I noticed a light glint in her eyes but she immediately nodded and walked to her desk slowly to pack her bag and other things while I texted my driver to drop her at the mansion.

I doubt if I can ever see her in a new light but the warmth that I feel in my heart seeing her is mounting day by day.

At the time when I just saw her as my PA and a fiancée, the emotions and outlook I had for her, towards her was not this intense. I felt... happy to be with her. I didn't knew her, not just likes and dislikes nor her profession, the real her. This one month took the most precious thing I think I had but also gave me a new outlook.

'Leo, darling. Without the needed Identification, even the most costly and beautiful diamond also is nothing but a mere rock. What makes it precious is the time and process. Every process the rock goes through gets polished into something worthy. Same goes with people too. No person is yours without giving yourself to them. These feelings are called 'feelings' because they have their own standard of refinement. The more you feel, the more they get refined and sorted. That's what life is. That's what love is.'

My friend Nicolo's grandma said these same words when I called her few days ago and told her about this certain friend who is going through a girl problem, not letting her know that it was actually me.

Now that I think about it, what she said has some weight. The attraction or love-that-I-thought-is growing deeper. The Lilliput I used to think I loved is not the person I am looking at right now but still, I feel even more attached to her.

The reason I didn't touch her sexually all this month was because... somewhere in my heart, I wanted to be a person who's unlike the men she met before.

Everything I think is related to her and everything I do is about her. I feel like I'm nothing without her. I shouldn't feel like that, isn't it? Then why am I?

Wait! What if on the way to down stairs she faints and no one is there to catch her from falling?

I made my way downstairs running, hoping she is not hurt.

"Hahaha, how considering. I'm alright, thank you so much." Lilliput laughed out softly, tapping the man in front of her on his shoulder in a friendly gesture when I saw her.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

I couldn't see his face as his back is towards me. Who might he be? Her past lover or... or... her present one?

Who the hell is dare to make my fiance laugh!!

"Are you really alright? But look at me, I don't think I am alright after meeting such a beautiful lady. May I ask you something if you don't mind, sugar." The man said, giving her an exaggerated bow.

This voice...!

This man's voice is quite familiar.

I slowly started striding towards them in slow but confident steps. Dare of this girl, flirting in my arena?

"Sure. Please do ask. After all you are my savior." Lilliput spoke with the gentlest smile on her lips. Wow, look at her, she didn't give such a smile till now to me but for other men, she has an unlimited stock.

Her voice was soft and surreal which I didn't hear till now. Well, I didn't know many things about her so I don't think this is any new to me.

"From which part of Elysium are you from?" He asked in a raspy voice that made me want to throw up but made Lilliput laugh out loud.

He is going to her at full swing, I see. Elysium, huh? Such a lame pickup line to court a lady.

"My life is anything but a paradise, sir. But thank you for such kind words. You filled my heart with so much warmth and happiness." She replied smiling softly towards him but I can detect a tinge of sadness in her voice.

"Sir? Oh Sienna, I asked you call me –"

"Arsenio" I cut him off saying his name with so much detest and disgust.

The beast who is craving for blood is awakened when I saw 'that useless man' flirting with my woman but what got me was she is flirting back with him.

HOW DARE SHE IS?