"so guys. well, what do you think of the beard?" kelso asked the gang.

"he's really lost it, huh?" isabella asked eric as he nodded.

"yes, it's not bad after one week, huh?" kelso asked.

"i think it's stupid. you look like a hobo." jackie told him.

"well, you're crazy." kelso replied.

"well, you look like a hobo." jackie said.

"crazy!" kelso shouted.

"hobo!" jackie shouted back.

"yeah, well, i like it. i think it looks rugged. look how thick it's coming in." kelso said.

just as he said that, fez walked in and they saw him with a fully grown beard.

"hello." fez said.

"wow, fez, that's a nice beard." donna told him.

"it will be, once it really comes in." fez said.

"i think it suits you." isabella told him.

"doesn't michael look stupid? i mean, it's not even growing in right. it's all patchy." jackie said.

"ha ha. poor patchy." fez said laughing.

"all right, i don't have to take this." kelso said.

"oh. now we made patchy upset." eric said making kelso storm out.

"bye patchy." they all said.

"so long, patchy." fez said as the door slammed shut.

"i miss patchy." eric said.

"doesn't michael look hot with that beard? i mean, it's all rough and forbidden." jackie said making isabella laugh.

"that's the best thing i've heard all day." isabella said.

"i thought you said kelso looked stupid." donna said.

"well, i can't tell him i like it. i hate his guts! but i hate him even more now that he's so hot. that hot bearded jerk." jackie said.

"what about my beard?" fez asked her.

"it has egg in it." jackie told him making him turn away to take it out.

"laurie, what are you doing? church starts in 10 minutes." kitty asked as the two came downstairs.

"mom, i'm not going!" laurie told her.

"what?" kitty asked.

"well, eric's not going either." laurie argued.

"oh, of course he is." kitty said.

"well, no, ah, i thought... mom, i thought you said we had the choice." eric said as kitty agreed.

"and i chose no. but, uh, yes was a close second." eric told his mother.

"you know, i don't understand this at all. you give me one good reason why you don't want to go to church." kitty said.

"it's hot." eric said.

"it's boring." laurie said.

"the music sucks." eric said.

"the pastor's ugly." laurie said.

"i have to wear a tie." eric said.

"i have to wear a bra." laurie said.

"enough." kitty said.

isabella turned her head when she saw hyde walk into the room and she smiled at him. he smiled back at her.

"what about hyde? i mean, he doesn't have to go." laurie said.

"while i respect the judeo christian ethic, as well as the eastern philosophies and, of course, the teachings of muhammad, i find that organized religions have corrupted those beliefs to justify countless atrocities throughout history. were i to attend church, i'd be a hypocrite." hyde said grabbing an ice cream sandwich and going back into his room.

"okay, you know what? i am leaving in five minutes. and i'm sure you will make the right decision. no. you'll make the right decision, and you drag her with you. something tells me i will not be sitting in that pew alone." kitty said before laughing and going back upstairs.

-

"how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? one. two! ah, screw it." fez said biting into his candy.

"ow, my tooth. why did i bite?" fez said.

"eric, if you don't want to wear your ass for a hat, you'll get up here, pronto." red said from the stairs.

"you'd better go. you know how that ass hat screws up your hair." donna said as her and eric went upstairs.

"poor forman, huh? working for red like that? i wouldn't wish that on my enemies." hyde said.

"must be rough." isabella said.

"i would. those suckers must pay." fez said.

"hey, jackie." kelso said when she walked in.

"michael, why don't you save the sweet stuff for the next idiot who's dumb enough to date you?" jackie said.

"did she just burn herself?" isabella asked hyde.

"i believe so." hyde replied as they both laughed.

"you know, jackie, if you're in the market for a new lover, they say once you go fez, you never go back. in my language, that rhymes." fez said.

"okay, uh, where's donna?" jackie asked.

"she's upstairs with forman." hyde told her.

"and don't follow me, michael. we've broken up and i mean it!" jackie said stomping up the stairs.

"oh, i wasn't. it's a good thing we're broken up, because... damn it. i miss her." kelso said sitting beside isabella.

"jeez, man. who wouldn't?" hyde asked making isabella laugh.

"spare me the sarcasm, hyde. i am really hurting here, and i'm totally lonely." kelso said.

"oh, boo hoo. i haven't dated anyone since i got cheated on last christmas." isabella said.

"man, i've seen people get shot who complain less than you." hyde told kelso.

"okay, so what do you miss about her? all she ever did was call you names. heck, i can do that for you. you idiot. see?" fez said with a smile.

"oh. thanks, fez." kelso said.

"no problem, fart face." fez replied.

"i'm friends with a bunch of idiots." isabella said with a chuckle.

-

everyone was in the basement and they were glaring at laurie who was sitting on the couch beside isabella and donna.

"hey, uh, laurie? yeah, could you, uh... get out! thanks." eric said.

"come on, kelso. come up to my room. i need you to, um, help me move my bookcase." laurie said with a wink before going upstairs.

"that means we're gonna have sex." kelso said.

"thanks for cracking that code." hyde said.

"we would've never guessed." isabella said.

"what are you doing?" eric asked kelso.

"they're going up to have sex. get the wax out of your ears." fez said.

"man, you can't bring my sister down to the basement. this is our fortress of solitude." eric told him.

"well, i'm sorry, but she's my girlfriend, and i love her." kelso said.

"no, you don't." donna told him.

"well, i like her." kelso said.

"no, you don't." hyde said.

"i think she is okay, and the line between love and okay is pretty fine. but the line between doing it and not doing it, that's not fine at all." kelso said.

"right." isabella said.

"just like the line between moron and idiot?" donna asked.

"exactly. you know, it took me months to get jackie in the sack. well, laurie, she already let's me do it, and plus, i'm over here all the time, anyway, so there's like the convenience factor." kelso said.

"kelso, my bookcase isn't going to move itself. or maybe it will." laurie said before rushing back upstairs.

"damn it! i gotta go." kelso said running after her.

"dumbest babies ever." hyde said.