Water, that's the last thing I remember. It was clear and then it wasn't. Not just that, drowning, I was drowning. That is what I remember before everything went black.

"Namjoon how do you think Y/n is doing?"

"Honestly probably not good, but don't worry. It will be fine from now on, after we tell her everything I'm sure she will brighten up"

"I hope so"

"You really love her don't you?" Namjoon says grinning exposing his dimples.

"More than anything" Yoongi responses now too smiling for the first time in days.

Both boys walk to the door of Y/n's apartment. Yoongi knocks once, no answer. Namjoon knocks twice, no answer.

"Maybe she isn't home"

"No I don't think that" Yoongi exclaims, his breath becoming thin.

Yoongi goes to open the door and to their surprise it's unlocked. Both boys calmly enter the apartment. Suddenly the air becomes cold and everything is silent apart from the subtle breathing escaping the boy's body and something else in the distance.

As they gradually make there way further and further in they notice the water leaking from underneath the bathroom door and the noise coming from within.

"Y/n are you in there?" Yoongi asks. No response.

The two look at each other, concern in their eyes. Namjoon slowly opens the door, it feels as though the world is slowing down as they await to see what's on the other side.

As the door fully opens both boy's hearts stop but their body's react and they rush to the scene. It was like something you would only see in movies or read in books, something no one should have to experience in their life time. What was in front of them was Y/n's body under the bright red water, blood still escaping her wrists. She wasn't moving, she was lifeless.

Yoongi pulls her body from out of the water, tears gushing from his eyes as he does so. His throat becomes tight as he cries out her name. His blue jeans bright with blood and his black top soaked with water.

Namjoon stands there. His body in complete shock as he witnesses everything in front of him. It's like he was moving slowly, like his body couldn't process it.

"NAMJOON CALL AN AMBULANCE NOW!"

"O-okay" He says with a shaky voice reaching for his phone not taking his eyes off Y/n.

"Y/n please wake up" Yoongi cries into her chest, he could feel a heartbeat. She was still alive but it was slowly faulting with every second that past.

Y/n's head lays back and her eyes are closed. The colour had escaped her face and her hair is tangled around her neck from the water. Blood, blood, blood. Red was all the colour you could see, nothing else was processing, like when a camera can only pick up certain colours.

Y/n was wilting, she was dying.

Flashing lights. White lights. I was conscious everyone once in a while, but I didn't know I was alive, not for much longer at least. I could feel that I was being moved, wheeled I think. I couldn't move my body, it was like I was paralysed. There was people around me talking to each other, I could hear them but still all I could see was white. Flashes of Yoongi's voice was there as well, he was yelling I think. It's like a dream I wont remember, is this even real right now?

"I'm sorry but you can't go in any further"

"No! I'm her boyfriend let me through!!"

"I'm sorry sir but you will have to stay here while she goes into surgery"

Yoongi goes to keep running, his body trying to push through all the doctors, his arms reaching out.

"Please, I need to be with her. Y/n! Y/n!" The boy cried. The doctors held him back as Y/n was wheeled away. Namjoon now held him back as well, holding his body tightly, tears now too escaping his eyes.

"P-please let me go.... I need to be with her" His voice slowly faded out and he had now collapsed on the the ground, his body couldn't do it anymore.

"Y/n..."

White, white, white no... colour, I can now see colour, everything adjusts. I open my eyes, I'm alive.

I look down in front of me, I'm in a hospital bed. Nurses and doctors surrounding me, keeping me alive. I go to move my arms but I can't, I'm tied to the bed, I can't blame them I guess. I catch a glimpse of my wrists, they're stitched and wrapped and to my left I have needles coming out of my arm. My body is aching and my head is pounding. I'm alive though, is that a good or bad thing? That I do not know. How am I alive? How am I here? I told no one, I should be dead but I'm not. Someone found me.

Suddenly I'm awoken from my daze. "Good you're awake. I'm glad, we only just managed to save you. I'm going to run some test's okay?"

I slowly nod my head.

After the doctor finishes and leaves a nurse enters my room. She's an older lady but her hair is dyed and she has a kind face.

"Here is some food, you're probably hungry" She helps me to sit up and feeds me as I am unable to do so.

"H-how am I alive?" I ask, such a direct question but one I need to know.

The women sighs loudly, sadness building up in her eyes. "Two young boys found you and rung an ambulance. One of which wouldn't let go of you when they brought you here, it was quite a challenge for us to get him off you"

"Yoongi..." I say quietly.

"Is he your boyfriend?" The nurse asks.

I nod my head once more.

"You're quite lucky. He's been waiting here for the past two days and hasn't moved at all. Did you want me to let him come in?"

"N-no, not yet. I'm not ready yet"

She pats my shoulder and stands up from the bed. "Okay, tell me when you are" she softly says and leaves the room.

Another two days pass and still I lay in a hospital bed but now I can move my body. The same nurse comes back into my room, she's such a kind lady and has been looking after me the entire time I've been here.

"Y/n he haven't left once since you've been here. I think you should let him see you"

I breathe in quietly and slowly nod my head.

A few minutes pass and I wait in anticipation. My heart begins to beat faster and I fiddle with my fingers. I hear the door open but I don't look up, I can't. I don't want to see his face, what I put him through because of what I did.

"Y/n!" I hear his voice but still I don't look up. I feel his arms wrap around my body, his breathing in my ear, his warm body against my cold one. I feel his hand on my face.

"Y/n please look at me" His voice was so calming, so forgiving.

"I c-can't, not after what I caused you to go through"

I feel his hands move my face to his. "It's okay, I'm not mad, I'm just happy you're alive"

I look at his face and immediately I begin to cry once more. "I'm so sorry Yoongi. I'm so sorry" My face goes into his chest as I cry uncontrollably.

Yoongi sit's down in the chair next to my bed and doesn't leave, not once. My entire is world is sitting right next me, holding my hand. I can't give that up, not again. Every once and a while he begins to dose off but stops himself before he does. He brings me snacks, drinks, he ties my hair up for me and helps me to eat. I missed him so much.

I open my eyes again the next morning and I'm feeling so much better. Yoongi stayed in the same position he did as the night before, I feel bad keeping him here.

The silence is then broken and a sleeping Yoongi is awoken, the other six boys have arrived to visit me.

"Y/n!" They all say together and already we are crying together.

"I'm so sorry Y/n. This should've never had happened" Namjoon cries, his voice cracking.

"It's not you fault Namjoon, it's my own" I quietly say.

"But I should've never let you go that day" Tae announces.

"And I should've shouted louder" Jimin too says.

"And I should've held you tighter" Hoseok cries holding me.

"We all should've done better otherwise this never would've happened to you Y/n, this is our fault. We shouldn't have distant ourselves just because we were scared"

"Jin it's okay. Look at me, I'm here, I'm alive. All of you I'm alive. Let's not talk about it now, tell me how have things been with you all?"

"Well we were all really busy but then we heard what happened to you and now we're no longer busy"

"Good explanation Jungkook" Hoseok laughs.

"Well it's true"

"Yoongi Hyung you stink!" Jimin suddenly exclaims moving far away. "Y/n how can you let him be that close to you when he smells that bad"

"Hey it's not my fault I smell. I didn't want to leave Y/n alone"

"Aish go home and have a shower, freshen up a little, have a nap" Namjoon begins to push Yoongi away.

"But.."

"Not but's" Tae then begins to push him away as well.

"It's okay Yoongi you can go, I'll be fine" I say with a smile.

"Don't worry Hyung, we'll look after her" Tae says once more.

"Fineee I'll be back soon. Love you"

"I love you too"

"Cuteeeee" All the boys say together, god I missed this.

After all that we don't do much else. The rest of the day was mainly filled with back and forth arguing between Jungkook and Jimin, Jin trying to feed me all the time and Tae asking if I was comfortable every five seconds and constant hugs from Hoseok. I loved it though, being around them again. It hasn't been like this for a while, I missed it so much. All of their faces smiling, their laughs, their voices, I can't believe I was ready to leave all that behind. I still feel guilty.

After a few more hours of the boys entertaining me they decide it's best for me to get some more rest. They all leave except Namjoon who the entire time has been quiet and not his usual self. He sit's down next to me, where Yoongi would usually be sitting. He seems so serious and that makes me anxious.

"Is something wrong Namjoon?" I ask a little concerned.

He breathes in loudly, clearly he is not okay. "You know I was there with Yoongi when we found you in the bathtub. I was so scared, I thought we were too late. I froze, I stopped moving. In a very long time I thought I had failed, I thought I had failed you, Yoongi and the rest of the members. You see all we want to do is help people, make sure everyone is okay and if I couldn't do that for one of the people I'm closet with then that mean's I'm failing all of them as well. I don't know if I could live with that"

"Namjoon.... I'm sorry"

"Don't apologise please, it's not your fault. But if you every feel like you did that day, please, please, please come to us. We will always be here for you no matter, no matter how far away or distant we might seem we love you so much and we always will y/n"

"I love you all as well" Namjoon then raises from his chair and gives me the biggest hug, I don't often receive hugs from him so this hits deep.

"I'll see you later. I'm sure Yoongi will be back soon anyway. Rest well"

And with that he left. I sit there in bed, mixed emotions filling my brain. I feel loved and thankful for the people I have around me but I feel so guilty and selfish for wanting to throw it away like it was nothing. I will try to be better.

I go back to school tomorrow rip me. I hope you like this chapter and thank you for all the kind comments