A plaything that satisfied your needs while I was neglecting the real me.

Drowning, drowning into a chalice of nightmares

everyday I chose one of them to dream

without knowing I wasn't asleep...

Cause you were my nightmare all along,

the pain in my life in the first place...''.

opposite of each other, first time not occupying the same couch, Jimin was about to explain his entire story to his boyfriend. He had to learn not to call him that again cause he was certain of the outcome. Jungkook might be forgiving but he wasn't going to bear loving a manipulator. He would probably kick him out yet no matter the result they would both end up getting hurt.

''Before you say anything, just tell me... why? Why were you lying to me this whole time?''.

''It's my job. L-lying that is'' Jimin explained himself, averting his gaze to the porcelain cup being held by Jungkook's trembling palms. ''And that's the only way I could save my sister... and fall out of love. I want to save you''.

''Since when is hurting my feelings a means of salvation?'' the younger inquired intently. ''And I am perfectly capable of protecting myself''.

''I know you can... but you can't protect yourself from invisible enemies Kook'' he lowered down his gaze.

He knew.

He knew that the moment he's done explaining, Jungkook would kick him out of his place with a broken heart, shattered memories and unbearable pain. And Jimin, despite the heartbreak he was certainly going to experience first hand, had to let go.

''Then tell me! Just for this once... Think of everything we' ve been through. Think of our love if it is real...''.

''It is'' the blond interrupted.

''Talk to me. How bad can your past be anyway? Who is this invisible enemy that threatens our well-being ?''.

''Where am I supposed to start from?'' he questioned himself, unaware of which truth would actually hurt the most.

''Let me guide you then. I was never controlling you, right? Was it just a coincidence, a twisted game?'' the raven haired asked as calmly as he could.

''Y-yes'' he answered with a lowered head, Jungkook's chagrin written all over his beautiful eyes. ''You never did. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to say that I or we were the ones controlling you''.

''We? I...I don't understand'' he exhaled. It's not like a human mind- despite its IQ or intelligence- could even think about something like this.

''I just want to tell you this and please listen to me, okay? I have never fallen that deep in love. I always felt lust over my occasional partners but I truly, deeply love you and this is the most thruthful thing I have ever said in my life. To a point that I never believed a human heart could love. And by no means I am trying to redeem myself. I am at fault, I have been exploiting you but believe me Kookie, I didn't know some things as well. I just... All of my mistakes lead up to this moment of truth... But just remember that I truly love you. Do you recall that time you asked me if you have deceived me many, many times would I have forgiven you or not?''.

''I d-do''.

''I said I would. I said I would for a reason'' he shut his eyes, ''You believed I would never hurt you and if I was stronger, if I was more of a man may haps I wouldn't. However I've been exploiting you from the start. That's why I didn't want you to call me perfect or gorgeous... I want you to stop loving me, do this favor to yourself. Now that you are going to leave me...''.

''What? No...''.

''You will... and you have every right to do so''.

''Gorgeous... People don't say goodbye to the ones they love'' Jungkook wanted to hug him, feeling both of their ache torturing his chest. But this time, something held the younger back. He just wanted to hear the truth. For once.

And with a big breath, Jimin began to speak.

''My name is Park Jimin. Now at least. I have used many names before but I have to admit I like Jimin better. I am twenty five, I have raven hair and I hate rum. I am actually bi and my favorite colour has always been yellow'' he chuckled through the pain noticing his boyfriend's -if he can still call him that- stare growing dark and aloof. ''I don't work in a company and I...''.

''What are you talking about Jiminie?''.

''I know... How is it possible to experience so many coincidences at once? Well, you were never experiencing one in the first place''.

Jungkook's eyes were unable to focus on the blond man in front of him already sensing a feeling of detachment and utter dispassion.

''Some months ago, Kim Taehyung entered your residence pretending to be your friend'' he began explaining, the younger's parted lips quivering with sudden realization. ''For an odd reason he managed to gain your trust and you confided your phobia in him. That's all I know but he must have asked you something else, right?'' Jimin wondered. They kept him in the dark about the cameras in the bathroom, the microphone that Hoseok so conveniently decided to add as a final touch to the plan. They must have hidden other details of the plan too.

''How do you expect me to remember? It's been months'' Jungkook scoffed.

''Try. Anything is important at the moment... The most minor detail''.

''He asked me to visit the b-bathroom'' Jungkook refreshed his memory. Why does such a negligible question matter anyway?

''I thought so'' Jimin gritted between his teeth. ''It was that day, Taehyung planted a camera in your bathroom I guess. That day when everything started to fall apart for you''.

''What ?!''Jungkook yelled, the coffee cup falling from his hands and breaking on the floor. Jimin just wanted to vanish into thin air while drowning in Jungkook's painful expression. The blond could see the intensity in Jungkook's eyes knowing that the information he just revealed must have made him disgusted.

''After a month or so, Kim Seokjin did the exact same thing but in your living room. And if my calculations are right, Jung Hoseok that so easily managed to compel you with his charms managed to plant the devices in your bedroom. And during this entire time, a delivery man dressed from head to toe with scarfs and beanies was entering your place to check if everything was working appropriately, in the kitchen or in the living room. You were taking so much time to find your wallet that I had time to readjust the cameras or fix the equipment'' he gulped, his mouth dried out.

''It was you... the whole fucking time... it was you...'' he exhaled heavily. His head began to ache, the once burning flames of amber turning into liquid pain and despair. ''This is impossible''.

''I visited you two maybe three times before, unrecognizable. The moment Seokjin learnt that you would name your character Park Jimin and the instant we found out about the description, I was chosen between fifteen people to be your experiment. I was always covered from head to toe to always remain unknown. I was only supposed to be a secondary character, only visiting you to check if the cameras worked or not. Yet later you chose me. The red haired that brought us pizza took my place in the shop afterwords. I introduced myself as Park Jimin to her, not expecting she would actually remember. I guess fate is playing tricks with both of us, huh?'' Jimin uttered.

''What did you mean by boss? Who a-are you referring to?''.

''Min Yoongi. Author... psychopath. The man I am working for and the man that has been driving you insane'' he retorted. ''He...he is my employer. And he wanted to get rid of you. Not to kill you. Just turn you into a numb machine. Stealing your ideas and making you unable to write ever again''.

Jungkook was incapable of forming existent words, his heart's palpitations having increased, a sting hitting his chest repetitively not allowing him to think clearly. ''Don't lie to me Jimin''.

''He... He hired me to... to enter your place and manipulate you, turn you into my toy. And I tried, I tried so hard to make things work, be successful and carelessly leave you afterwards all broken and shattered but I never expected to fall in love with you. Forgive me. Forgive me for falling in love with you'' he pleaded.

The younger was just staring at the floor, many pieces of the puzzle still missing yet somehow on the right track to find the last piece. With his palm wiping his eyes, the corner of his pupils noticing the older licking his lips in agony, Jungkook stood up and forcefully slapped the blond immediately regretting his decision after seeing the red mark his palm left on the cottony skin.

''Don't. Don't say that you love me. Stop lying to me. Not anymore''.

''This is probably one of the few times I am true to myself Kook''.

''Don't call me that! You don't deserve this perk''.

''I love you. This cannot change for I can't control my heart anymore. I love you so much that I ruined the entire mission hurting myself in the process''.

''Are you begging for redemption now? Seriously? After saying all these bullshit, you are explaining yourself? You are so fucking pathetic!'' Jungkook hissed.

''I am not asking for forgiveness, I don't deserve it anyway. I never wanted to fall in love with you but damn your smile and loveliness took me off guard''.

''Stop... please. Every word you mumble makes things even worse''.

''I am just trying to explain like you asked''.

''Do you have any idea how I feel like right now? How fucking stupid I feel for believing that someone could fall for me that easily only to find out that everything is based on a lie? You manipulated me into doing you favors to the point you fucked me in my own bed'' the younger yelled when a sudden thought hit him. ''Oh my God! Did they watch us doing it? Don't tell me they did Jimin '' he gasped repulsed by the new-found information.

''No! I had destroyed all the cameras, I have searched all the left corners...''.

''You were all exploiting my phobia? That's why you were asking me all these questions? Cause you knew I would search?!''

''I...I... I deactivated all of them. There was a microphone in the pillow that I didn't know about though... That's where that breath came from the other night. You did hear something, Yoongi was just trying to scare me, show me who the boss is'' Jimin added.

''When did you take off the cameras? Why?'' he inquired. He had so many queries, not knowing what to ask first.

''Cause it's your privacy. I know I sound so fake right now but that's why I didn't want to do anything in the bedroom, until I made sure that nobody was watching us. I couldn't let them...''.

''But they did, didn't they? Cause I had sex with Hoseok before you came, I almost made love to you in the living room... They saw me touching myself, bathing, having a panic attack. They heard us making love! Fuck, I feel like I am going to vomit'' he felt the loathsome taste of his own breakfast in his esophagus.

''I am sorry... I did this to save my sister. I am so sorry''. Jimin was so unfamiliar with the word but now he used it more than any other.

He never asked sorry.

Or said please.

Or said the word promise.

And he did say all these to Jungkook. His comfort.

''This is inhuman! I trusted you, you piece of shit! I was in love with you, you fucking asshole and... and I feel so disgusted for even letting you touch me... Did you get what you wanted? Did you mess with my life long enough? Did you all satisfy your repelling needs? All this time you were hurting me and I kept on apologizing because I actually felt guilty for making you feel bad. You are messed up... You...You...You are a fucking sociopath!'' Jungkook pushed the older away from him.

Stop touching unhealed wounds. They won't ever be treated if you always poke them.

And Jimin knew that this trauma would remain like this forever. Because even if he managed to convince himself he wasn't a sociopath, the person he loved the most in the world just called him one.

''Kook...''.

''Oh my God! I am a piece of your game, huh? None of this was real? What would you gain from all of these? You turned my life into a twisted mess just to save your sister in jail? A woman that got herself in there because of your stupid acts. You are insane... '' he shouted, disgusted by Jimin's confession. Jungkook left the living room in a hurry, utterly repulsed to even look at the blond's eyes.

Jimin's arms hugged his figure when he heard his love vomiting in the kitchen sink. With a distant stare and a monotone voice, his elegant facial features down-turned, the blond sat down and sighed heavily.

''Well Kook... Perhaps my parents and Yoongi were actually right. Maybe I indeed am''.