though your thoughts rang in my mind all those months, i think i chose to ignore the obvious.

i've been ignoring the obvious even now.

or perhaps it was doubt — denial. same difference. they don't bode well with my being.

just as well as guilt.

i cant allow it to. there's the after thought of it swallowing me whole — but no, i've never regretted anything i've done.

never the murders — i cherished stealing their last heart beats.

why do you ... why are you different?

there's a depressing lull in the back of mind telling me i know the answer already but i snuff it out before i even have the chance to dwell.

you wanted me to kill you?

i've wanted it for awhile now, you hook a finger under my chin gently, it was easier that way.

easier? a breath of disbelief plumes past my lips.

i was too much of a coward to do it myself—

you're many things but you're not a coward.

you stare at me before backing away, don't get sentimental.

the score that leaves me nearly felt forced — hardly — suddenly feeling like a stranger in my body and i hate it.

i don't say this with any malevolent intent, but you drove me to a madness i didn't think there was any refuge from — you pause as your eyes catch sight of my neck — of the bites.

the knowledge of knowing you wouldn't ever love me back was enough for me, it was really... and then you had to fuck it up by trying.

i blink at you, you were suicidal because i tried?

squeezing your eyes shut you shook your head, you take credit for everything don't you?

you spare my neck one last glance as you go to the door.

don't fuck up her life like mine, she's a nice girl.

you're gone before i can utter an explanation— the fact i even try to scramble for one is out of character for me.

grasping at nothing but air like a mad man claiming to fight of the demons who whisper to do bad things.

i have nothing to explain to you. i don't owe you anything.

in three months time i'll be gone from this castles wretched halls and never have to see you again.

you've rewritten my acceptance of you passing the moment you decided to be a ghost. the reminder of what i had done lurking in corners like a poltergeist in waiting.

yes, i knew why i killed you.

why i had to.

it was necessary, truly.

for both your well-being and mine.

yet i know, despite you now having an eternity, you'd never accept it.

even if you dripped veritaserum down my throat — hell you could even make me overdose on it, diana — i'd be like the god you wished to believe in.