Chapter 17: Grayson Intolerant

I hate myself. I hate myself so much. I glared at myself in the mirror before slumping down onto my bed. How could I have a crush on Grayson Carter? It doesn’t mean that I like him, right? I mean, I haven’t even known him long enough to develop a crush on him! Of course, I’ve been around him but I haven’t known him. We’ve only been working together for about a month now and I’m already crushing on him? This needs to stop and it needs to stop now.

I approached my mom as she stood in front of the stove, humming. She glanced at me and offered me a sweet smile. “Hey, honey, what’s going on?”

“Mom, why is it that we like people that we really don’t like?” I asked her curiously. She furrowed her eyebrows as she opened the oven and took out the casserole. Sliding off her oven mitts and sitting down on the stool across from me, she gave me a confused look.

“What do you mean?” she questioned.

I sighed, placing my hand on my cheek. “Why is it that we have crushes on people that we hate?”

My mother laughed. “I’m pretty sure you’re the only one experiencing that problem. Are you sure you hate the person?”

“I hate almost everything about him,” I snapped almost immediately. I gave my mom an apologetic look but she didn’t look affected by my slight outburst.

“Like what?” she asked.

“I hate how he’s perfect. I mean, he plays sports; he’s smart; and he excels in almost everything- relationships included.” I didn’t bothering telling her that her best friend’s son is considered a mini player. I don’t think that’d go over well with Emily and it’d make Grayson hate me even more. He already isn’t talking to me.

My mother sighed. “What else makes him so perfect?”

I frowned. “He sings amazingly; he dances pretty well too; he’s funny; he’s kind when he wants to be; he has pretty cool friends; he’s cute; he's popular, he’s just so perfect. I don’t like him, but then again I do.”

“You have a crush on this boy?” she asked, her eyebrows rising.

I sighed, slumping down and resting my head on my entwined arms, nodding my head. “Unfortunately, hopefully, it’ll blow over. We haven’t been talking as much anymore though, so I think some time apart will help me sort out my confused feelings.”

“May I ask who this boy is?” I internally groaned. Of course she’d want to know who this boy is.

I shook my head. “You don’t know him.”

“Well, tell me about him so you can introduce me to him,” she guided. I shook my head again.

“We’re not talking anymore, so an introduction isn’t really necessary,” I explained.

“Is it Grayson?” My lips parted slightly at her realization. When she saw my expression, she laughed. “You’ve always had a thing for that boy.”

“Yeah, it’s always been hate,” I muttered under my breath. Now seven people know.

“Don’t you remember when you came to me crying because you didn’t know why he didn’t want to talk to you? You were a mess. You said that he likes his Gameboy more than you," she laughed at me as I glared at her, cringing.

“I was, like, seven, mom," I informed her. “Besides, I didn’t know what hate was but I’m pretty sure it was there then, too.”

“Do you also remember when you told me that Grayson was so cute? As in 'cuter-than-Jesse-McCartney' cute?” She asked.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking- there’s some things you forgot to tell us while introducing yourself. Give me a break, I couldn’t start off this friendship with a whole ‘I liked him, hated him, and now I have a small crush on him.’ Do you see what I mean? You wouldn’t be able to take me seriously.

“Mom, that was years ago,” I told her.

She smirked. “Obviously, the feelings haven’t gone away; they just buried themselves under hate, or at least what you think is hate.”

“It’s going to go away, buried far under the hate. Just you watch,” I responded with a shake of my head.

“Why don’t you tell him? That you like him, I mean, what’s the worst thing that can happen?” she asked.

I gaped at her. “Uhm, I don’t know - he can embarrass me in front of the whole entire school; he can shun me worse than he is right now; he can do a lot of things.”

My mom sighed. “He’s shunning you?”

“Yeah, he’s angry at me for something really stupid,” I rolled my eyes with a sigh.

She waved her hand as if telling me to continue. I told her about Sam and about her brother Sebastian, who I’m using to get Grayson jealous because it seems as if he’s using Natalie to get me jealous. My mother listened the entire time, nodding as she sipped her coffee.

“So you’re only talking to this boy to make him jealous?” she asked, earning a nod from me. “That’s really stupid.”

I scowled. “He started it!”

“Did you ever consider that maybe he likes this Natalie girl?” she asked.

“First, you’re telling me that I should tell Grayson that I have a crush on him and now you’re telling me that he probably likes this other girl? Aren’t mothers supposed to encourage their daughter’s relationships? Because right now, you’re doing dad’s job,” I groaned. My mother just grinned at me.

“All I’m saying is that maybe he likes this girl,” she sighed. “I could be wrong but you never know. So tread lightly, and let him know that you’re not in a relationship with that boy. Tone down your jealousy, too.”

I frowned. “But I like seeing him jealous. Doesn’t that mean he cares?”

“Sure, it does, but are you sure you’re doing the right thing by pretending to be in a relationship?” she questioned me and I nodded, sighing. “And whatever you do, don’t try and ruin his relationship because you like him. I didn’t raise you to make someone else unhappy because you’re unhappy.”

Walking upstairs, I decided that I would tell my group of friends tomorrow at lunch about my new status with Sebastian. That’s the best thing I can do.

~~~

Entering the lunch room was like usual. Going to the table was like usual, all conversations stopped- aside from Grayson and Natalie’s. Natalie looked ecstatic that Grayson hadn’t broken eye contact when I sat down. I, on the other hand, frowned slightly. He’s the one I wanted to discreetly address my small speech to.

I turned to Sandra and smiled. She raised an eyebrow as a smirk slipped onto her face. “So, how are things with Sebastian?”

“I don’t like him, not like that at least. I mean, we’re friends but…nothing more.” I told her with a small smile. She nodded, glancing at Grayson out of the corner of her eye.

“That’s cool, so you’re just friends?” she questioned and I nodded.

“Who are just friends?” Lola asked as she plopped down into her seat beside Kyle.

I couldn’t help but notice their closeness. “Me and Sebastian.”

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows. “Didn’t you guys almost kiss?”

I frowned slightly. “How’d you know about that?”

Kyle looked over at Grayson, who was still talking to Natalie. “Grayson told you about that?”

Kyle nodded. “Well, Grayson didn’t get the full facts. We almost kissed, yeah, but I don’t like him. Sometimes, you almost kiss people you don’t like, you know?”

Sandra and Lola stared at me in shock. They were the only ones who had understood the last part of my sentence. “So you mean, you don’t like…?” Sandra asked and I shrugged.

“I’m trying really hard not to,” I muttered and she nodded, Lola mirroring her actions.

Carson shook his head at me and surprisingly, Kyle just rolled his eyes. I’m surprised he wasn’t shaking his head in disappointment. I looked around the table, my head tilting sideways. “Where’s Shane?”

“Working on a project with Josie,” Kyle answered and I furrowed my eyebrows. Once he saw my confusion, he smirked. “Josie’s his crush of the week.”

I nodded, rolling my eyes as I started to eat my burger. “So how were your weekends?”

I looked up to see Natalie smiling at everyone. She finally stopped talking to Grayson. “My weekend was nice, I went out.” Kyle smiled at Lola as she blushed.

“My weekend was also nice,” Lola giggled. I made a note to self to question her about her whereabouts this past weekend.

Sandra shrugged. “I stayed home, watched a new series on Netflix.”

Carson turned to her. “What series?” he asked and she shrugged.

“'Dexter', I’m still on season one but it’s pretty good, so far.” She grinned and Carson nodded.

“I love it!” They delved into a conversation while I sat there, an outcast. Shane wasn’t here to keep me from looking alone amongst the couples at the table.

Assuming the question didn’t apply to me, I sipped my juice, surprised when Natalie said my name. “What about you, Audrey?”

I shrugged, glancing at Grayson who was staring off to the side, at nothing in particular. “My weekend was okay. I worked on Saturday; I didn’t get much done because my coworker, being immature as he usually is, was and still is ignoring me but I survived.”

“Your coworker sounds like a jerk,” Natalie scoffed with a shake of her head.

I snorted. “He is and he’s sitting right beside you.”

Natalie gasped and had a horrified facial expression form on her face. “Don’t worry, because I’m in this conversation, he’s probably not listening. He gets angry over really stupid things by the way. Don’t forget to write your name on your paper or else Grayson will rage and ignore you for a year.”

Grayson turned towards me with a glare on his face. “I’m not a jerk nor do I get angry for stupid reasons. I get angry for sensible reasons. I’m only mean to certain people because they get me frustrated.”

“I smell lies; you are a jerk, I can confirm that. You get angry for really stupid reasons. In fact, I don’t even know why you’re angry at me,” I replied.

As if suddenly realizing something, his facial expression changed from angry to calm in a second, frightening not only me, but Natalie as well. “You know what? You’re right. I have been a jerk and I’ll stop. I also do get angry for stupid reasons, so I’ll stop doing that, too. In fact, I have no clue why I’m angry at you, either. I’ve been stupid. I’m sorry.”

Taking me by surprise, all I could do was stare at Grayson in shock. What is he playing at? He’s obviously up to something. I slowly nodded before turning my attention back to my food. This can’t be good.

~~~

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” This caught me by surprise. I turned to see Natalie holding my elbow between her claws, I mean, her hands.

“Sure,” I reluctantly told her as I slowed to a stop. I still had four minutes to get to class. Shaking her hand off of me, I quirked an eyebrow as if telling her to speak.

“Do you like Grayson or something?” She wrinkled her nose, placing her hand on her hip.

I furrowed my eyebrows, slowly backing away from her. “Of course I don’t. You know what? I’m not going to have this conversation with you. I have to get to class.”

Placing her iron grip back on my elbow, she forcefully turned me around. I ripped my elbow out of her hold and she narrowed her eyes at me. “I hope you don’t plan on trying to date him because I’m already on my way to becoming his girlfriend.”

I scoffed, wanting to internally cheer- not about the lie that just spewed from her chapped lips, but about how I was right; I knew there was something off about her. She's a nut. “Have fun with that.”

“But of course you know that you never had a chance with him, yeah?” she called out. “He hates you, you know that right? He told me himself!”

Whipping around to look at her, I scoffed again. “Desperation isn’t a good look on you.”

“You act like I’m the bad guy but I’m not. I’m just doing what you don’t have the nerve to do. I can tell that you don’t like me all that much. I gave you a warning by telling you that I like him but you proceeded to continue to flirt with him," she nearly shouted, drawing attention from a few onlookers. I continued backing up until I was in front of the Forensics Science classroom.

“You really like him, don’t you? Does he like you?” I asked her.

She placed her hand on her hip. “Of course he likes me; he wouldn’t talk to me as much as he does. He tells me everything.” She smirked.

I nodded, knitting my eyebrows together. I bit my lip. Don't say it; don't say it. “So you know about our kiss? And our almost kiss that Grayson prompted? Of course you know about that, right? If Grayson tells you everything, then you ought to know. Before you go around shoving your "relationship" in everyone's face, be sure that you know all of the facts.”

Judging by the look on her face, she didn’t know. Grayson hadn’t told her and that somehow made me upset. Was he embarrassed to have people know that he kissed me? You did tell him not to tell anyone. I sighed and sat down, already urging for the bell to ring.

~~~

I was grateful that all I had to do today was organize books. Walking into work, the usual music didn’t greet me. Instead, I was alone. It gave me some time to think about how my actions could affect Grayson. What if he really did like Natalie? Although it made me a bit upset to think about, I realized that I shouldn’t have told her about it. If Grayson likes her, he could have told her when he felt ready but I had to go run my big mouth.

I was in the middle of organizing a small amount of books when Grayson walked in. He and his friends definitely made the load smaller when they organized the books the other day. He was quiet. I had my back to him but I heard him drop his bag on the table and walk over to the other cart of books.

We were silent as we worked until about ten minutes in. I was definitely on edge. What if he knew? “Is there anything you want to tell me?” he prompted.

I coughed. “No, why?”

I saw him shrug out of the corner of my eye but I couldn’t see his face. He walked into a hoard of shelves to put his books away. “It’s just that Natalie told me something very interesting.”

I felt my eyes widen as I shoveled through the books in my cart. The girl technically knew that I liked Grayson. Make that eight people that know now. She could have told him about that! She could’ve told him that she knew about our kiss thanks to me! “Yeah, and what was that?”

“You didn’t happen to tell her about how we kissed right? And then how we nearly kissed?” he questioned. I couldn’t see his face so I couldn’t tell if he was angry or not. He could run out of the shelves and round house kick me back to the hallway earlier so I could take back what I said.

Right now, I was internally screaming at the top of my lungs. I scoffed. “No?”

“Is that a question or a statement?” he muttered from his area in the array of shelves.

I coughed as I thought about whether or not I should lie to him. “A statement?”

“Are you lying to me?” he asked.

“So maybe I told her,” I prompted.

Grayson hummed in affirmation. “Mmhmm, and why did you tell her?”

It was hard to decipher what he was feeling when I couldn’t see his face. “Why didn’t you tell her?”

“I didn’t feel it was necessary,” he told me, plucking a nerve. So he didn’t think much of our kiss. At least not enough to tell the girl, who's flaunting about the fact that she's on his arm, about it.

“Well, you should always tell someone about your past encounters if you are planning on building a relationship with them; especially if you sit at the same lunch table with the person who you’ve had an encounter with," I explained as I placed an armful of children’s books back onto the shelf in which they belong.

Grayson was silent for a few seconds. “Did you tell Sebastian about it?”

I let out a sigh. “No, but that’s different. I don’t plan on starting a relationship with Sebastian.”

At least I know he heard me and, hopefully, was listening to what I was saying. “Who said I was planning on starting a relationship with Natalie?”

I scoffed at his stupid question. “She did.”

Grayson seemed surprised by this. “Well, that’s surprising, because I remember telling her that I wasn’t looking for a relationship at the moment.”

I felt my heart soar. Although he said that he wasn’t looking for a relationship, it means that even if he doesn’t date me (I wouldn’t even date him if he asked but it’s not like he would), he won’t be dating other girls. “According to her, she’s already on the path to becoming your girlfriend.”

Grayson scoffed. “Well, you don’t have to worry about me dating her.”

I froze up. “Why would I worry about that?”

“You’re my friend and it’s pretty obvious that you don’t like Natalie, so you don’t have to worry about having to deal with her if she was to become my girlfriend," he explained.

“What happened to calling her Nat?” I questioned, feeling my stomach sink at the fact that he just friendzoned me. I shrugged it off. It'd be petty of me to get angry at that, especially now that we're just patching things up. Besides, it's not his fault that he doesn't like me the way that I like him.

“That reminds me of the small annoying fly: a gnat," he replied in a plain voice.

“And again, what happened to calling her Nat?” I asked and Grayson laughed. I couldn’t help but smile. Maybe he wasn’t up to something. Or maybe this is all a part of his plan. “Are you up to something?”

“What do you mean?” he asked innocently and I could tell that he's plotting.

I groaned. “Can you not do whatever you’re planning to do?”

“No, sorry," he mused.

“Can you at least give me a hint?” I asked with a sigh.

He laughed before speaking. “It involves dairy products.’

~~~

I sighed the following morning as my mom asked me if I wanted cereal. “No thanks.”

“Why not?” she asked and I refused to tell her that I was scared that something would pop out of the milk carton and rip my face off, so instead I just shrugged.

“I’m not really hungry," I told her as I left the house.

I started wearing my uniform pants instead of my skirt. It’s cold and although I drive to school, it still is a long walk from the parking lot to the building. I sighed when I realized that I hadn’t asked Lola to give me a lift to school last night. I began walking to school before someone beeped behind me. I turned to see Grayson slowing down his father’s car. “Need a ride?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m not going to sit down in a puddle of milk or something, right?”

He shook his head so I walked towards the passenger’s side. I reached for the handle but the car jerked forward. I took a step in order to reach for the handle but the car jerked forward again. “Quit it!” I grumbled as he tossed his head back and laughed. I grabbed the door handle and yanked the door open, getting inside of the toasty car. “You’re such an idiot.”

He just continued chuckling as he drove us towards the school. “Why didn’t you drive yourself to school?”

“Sebastian is picking me up today,” I told him and he nodded, his eyebrows rising and dropping quickly.

“I thought you guys weren’t dating?” he inquired and I shook my head.

“Just because he’s giving me a ride home doesn’t mean we’re dating. We’re friends. Plus, he’s Sam’s brother,” I admitted.

His eyebrows furrowed. “Sam? As in the girl you sit next to in Pre-Calculus?” he asked.

“That’s the one," I nodded.