7 February, 2018

( 2 years ago )

Dear Diary,

Today was way too hectic. We, I mean Hans and I have decided to get married on the upcoming 14 February, yes Valentine's Day. So I went to Williamson's Office to meet Mr. Williamson. Being my only legal guardian, he deserves to know about this decision of ours.

I had to take appointment to meet my own so called father. We both saw each other after 3 whole years but still there was no expression of contentment on his face. In fact, he was in rush like always as he had some meetings to attend.

I just had 17 mins to catch up, exchange pleasantries and inform him about my decision. So I told him about the wedding without wasting any time, which was apparently more valuable to him than his own blood.

And guess what, his clear cut answer was no. He said that I'm naive and being my father he can't let me marry Hans.

Exactly what I expected. So now out of the blue, he wants to be my father and criticize my decision of marrying Hans. Where was he when I really needed a father? Did he criticize his own decision of marrying that woman? No he didn't!

How much does he know about me, my life and my choices, to tell me what should I do with it and what not. He must knows it very well that I'm not the one to follow his orders. Now, no power on this damn universe can stop me from marrying Hans.

The way he said all that, it made me so furious and I gave him a rude reply, I told him that I didn't go there for his bloody permission. I went just to inform him that I'm going to get married. And he will be welcomed if he'd care enough to attend or he could just stay at his office and stare at his computer screen.

And then I left the invitation card at his table and left.

I know that was very rude and indecent of me. I shouldn't have behaved that way, despite of the fact that he never gave a damn to me, he's still my father and the way I said those words in such harsh tone was definitely not ideal for a daughter while speaking to her father. Momma must be super mad on me.

But Diary Hans is the only thing that motivates me to wake up every morning and get out of my bed. Being alone is not very easy but I've done that for almost all my whole life and I can't do it anymore. I don't want to lose my only hope, my Hans.

I'm already regretting what I said to him, I mean how can I marry in his absence. In our family, usually, the fathers escort their daughters to walk down the aisle.

I'm totally screwed up. Let's just hope for the best. Goodnight Diary.

Love Noriana.

❤❤❤