"I will make it absolutely clear to Miniprick that he stays away from you, yeah?"

My lips curl up the tiniest fraction. I'm torn between giggling hysterically at Alphason Conner's endless insults towards his former Beta and sobbing over the years-long friendship my never-mating-bullshit has ripped apart.

I settle somewhere in between laughter and tears, close to bizarrely empty. It's the best way to describe it. I've been running on pain and then anger for so long that it feels strange to have any other emotion, let alone no emotion. I know what is happening. It's my wolf. She's confused by Braxton and terrified of Sean and of all the shitty things, neither of us ever expected two males to want us.

Sean rejected me, or was going to, and it destroyed me and my wolf. Through the extreme depression and scary weight loss, the withdrawal from everything and everyone that I love, my mate never bothered to notice what was happening to me. He was dating my sister, coming to our house, going to school, and he never saw my rapid deterioration. He ignored me and that hurt almost as much as the stuff with Georgina did. How do you ignore your own soul?

Braxton was my best friend. I understood his withdrawal from me, or at least I told myself that I did. Even when he pushed me away I stuck by him. Losing Caroline was excruciating but I never understood how bad it must have hurt until I overheard Sean that awful day. The same rules apply to Braxton in a way, though. How did he never notice me, never look at me? Then he pops back up just as I am crawling back to my feet and he tries to overwhelm me and stake his claim.

I bite my lip to keep the tears at bay. The emptiness is being filled back up with the familiar fear and uncertainty. I don't want that. I don't want to be numb or empty or afraid. I want to be angry and stay angry. It's what keeps me alive.

"Ili? You OK?" Alphason Conner asks me tentatively.

Blinking back tears, I look up (and up and up) to his face. He looks so uncomfortable that my smile grows a little. "I'm good," I croak out. "Why am I still moving to the packhouse, though?"

He lets out a huff. "It's safer," he tells me quietly. "Same reason for why RedMoon is here," his face twists in disgust when he says that.

I shake my head, "what do you mean? Is it about the kidnappings?" We were told months ago to take precautions. Don't go anywhere alone. Stick to the curfew. Inform one of the pack officers if you see anything suspicious. Typical stuff, really.

"I had a meeting with the GhostMaw a few days ago. Some of the small Appalachian packs have lost young females lately. Alpha Inuit, up in Canada, also thinks that some of the tiny packs to the east are missing females."

I swallow hard as dread fills me. "It that... abnormal?"

He nods absently. "Just be cautious, OK? Dad and Uncle Alex want all of the... ah... females to move to the packhouse."

I frown at him. "All of them?" His green gaze bores into me and it clicks. "You mean the unmated females."

A faint smile crosses his face. "I do mean that, yes."

"But, why Sean's family?" I ask desperately. "Why can't I live by myself or with my friends?"

His eyes soften in sympathy. "Dickhead is right about your health, Ili, and his parents really are the best." A crafty look steals into his eyes, "you want to be at your physical best, right?" Damnit. I do. He nods as his smile grows. "Good. I'll bring you now."

As I carry my lightest suitcases downstairs I am sufficiently pissed off at Sean again. I hug my mom and dad. Mom is crying, but dad looks as shocked and stunned as he did an hour ago in the dining room.

"I'll drop her off straight away," Alphason Conner tells Dad in a low voice. Dad's jaw clenches, but he nods his agreement.

The knock on the door grabs everyone's attention. I let out a startled jump when Alpahson Conner snarls. When he swings the door open I have to catch my breath. For just a split second, one tiny, minuscule heartbeat, I am entranced by my handsome, powerful mate. The moment ends just as quickly. I shudder in distaste at my own stupidity. My she-wolf retreats and hides away deep in her den in my consciousness. She's not interested in being present for this after what Sean pulled earlier. Should I call him Miniprick from now on? I think I will.

"What the f-" Alphason Conner cuts off his own words. Swallowing, he pastes a sickly grin on his face. "I was bringing Ili to the packhouse, Sean. Remember?"

"I must have forgotten," Sean replies with cool nonchalance.

Holy shit. You could cut the tension with a knife.

"Yeah," Alpahson Conner doesn't budge from his spot in the door. I'm grossly fascinated by the two posturing males. I've never been this close to a potential alpha-fight. Their musculature swells up. Fur creeps from knuckles and thickens along bared, tightly clenched forearms. I can't see Alphason Conner's face, but Sean's canines are elongating, glinting in the light from mom's chandelier. Peach light, she told us, to add a soft glow to everyone's skin.

There's nothing soft about the expression on Sean's face.

"Do you think that the muscle enlargement of the male wolf's posturing is due to blood flow to the extremities or does a partial shift cause expansion of extracellular space? I doubt it's the cellular structure itself. I hypothesize its intercellular space, but then what causes the shift of those cells to form wolves?"

"Bailey. Honey, I really wanted you to wait in the car for us," Alphason Conner grits out, glaring even harder at Sean.

"Yes, but then I saw that Sean was here and I wanted to say, 'hi,'" comes her ultra-sweet reply. "Hi, Sean."

"Luna Bailey," Sean mutters.

"Hi, Bailey," I call out from behind Alphason Conner.

"Hi, Ili. Guys, can you move? I want to help Ili move into her new room sometime tonight."

Both males move out of the doorway, looking chastened. Alphason Conner wraps his arm around his mate's shoulders and relaxes a bit. Ah, the power of a luna. Sean clears his throat, then grabs my bag from my hand and strides back to his truck. Its engine is still running. Clearly, Sean planned on leaving in a hurry.

I hear my mom whimpering behind me, my dad continuing to shush her.

"Bye, sweetheart," dad says quietly. "Call me tomorrow, OK?" I nod without looking at him. He has to deal with my crying mom, now, which sucks. I just don't know how to approach this disaster with Dad. What must he be thinking?

Humiliation tastes sour in my throat. I wrap my arms around my body tightly and hurry outside. Sean looks at me steadily, but climbs into his truck and drives away without saying a word. He still has my suitcase with him, so I guess I haven't seen the last of him tonight.

I can hear Alphason Conner and Bailey talking in low voices behind me as they follow me out to the driveway. "The fuck, babe. I told him to keep his distance. I need to beat him down again, yeah?" Bailey shushes him, but I heard it.

The packhouse is a rambling structure, a condo building but with two large mansion-like wings containing single apartments and larger units spread out between them. Several jogs in the building foundation that cradle its many entrances. Sean's parents have a welcoming, landscaped entryway, but I know that his apartment is somewhere else. Near the top of one of the wings is where Bailey and Conner are staying until their house is built.

The door swings open and Meghan, Sean's mom, embraces me before I can even make it through the opening into the apartment.

"Poor baby," she croons to me. "It'll all work out, Ili. We'll help you. The pack will never abandon y-"

"Mom, she's exhausted," Sean interrupts his mom's rant gently. Alphason Conner looks like he's a split second away from delivering that second beating. Only Bailey's small hand patting his chest is containing him.

"Thank you for letting me stay here, Mrs. Green," I rush out. Now, if everyone could just leave....

"Of course, honey, and you let me know if you need anything." Sean's mom ignores her son while corraling me down the hall, leaving the males and Bailey behind me.

"Do you have any extra blankets?" I ask her quietly when we enter the pretty bedroom. The bedspread is a lightweight white quilt with purple flowers. Under it, a fuzzy cream-colored blanket is tucked around the pillows and I know that I'll freeze tonight. My dangerously low weight means that my wolf can't keep my body warm like normal shifters. Hell, I am cold even by human standards. At night I have started to wear thick red and green checked flannel pajamas that I got from Freda as a joke gift for my thirteenth birthday and I still pile on the blankets.

"Mom, I told you to have that thick comforter ready. Iliana gets really cold at night, her body temperature is still low," Sean scolds his mom softly. Apparently, Alphason Conner didn't gatekeep him away.

I toss Sean a glare over my shoulder. "It's all right, Mrs. Green," I tell her when I see the worry on her face.

"I think that comforter is in storage," she frets. "There are extra blankets in the closet, let me grab them for you." She hurries toward the closet door.

I beat her to the closet and grab a stack of them. "No, it's ok. I didn't come here to act helpless," I say firmly.

Mrs. Green smiles at me, wordlessly helping me unfold the three new blankets over the others. "Oh, my," she says softly when we are done, looking at the cozy pile on the bed with a faint look of dismay. I fight my grimace. My mom had the same reaction when she realized that I had unpacked the winter comforters, my own and my parents, to sleep under in the middle of summer.

"Is that enough, babydaisy?" his high and mightiness chimes in with his annoying petname. Sean is leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed over his chest, muscles bulging, eyes staring at me as I putter around the room getting ready to finally sleep.

"Yes, Beta," I snap. "I am sure your mom has better things to do than scrounge up even more blankets."

"Are you sure, Ili?" Mrs. Green asks me.

I smile at her. "Positive."

"I'll just go and turn the heat up a little-"

"No!" I stop her as she starts to rush past Sean. It's summertime. They don't even have the heat on. I can't let everyone else be uncomfortable because of me. I feel my wolf circling, agitated. She and I both know that Sean's mom, a human, is treating us like we're weak. We aren't. We can take the cold.

"Welp, thank's Meghan," Alphason Conner looms in the hallway behind Sean. Bailey may be there, too, but honestly, the two males take up too much space to see her. "Sean and I need to go train and shit, now."

"Of course," Mrs. Green looks at the two males, suspicion clear on her face.

"Where's Dad?" Sean asks suddenly, even as Alphason Conner tries to herd him back down the hallway.

"He's working until the morning," Mrs. Green says warily.

"I'll stay the night," Sean states.

"Oh, but you can't," Alphason Conner says politely. "Training, remember?" He grabs Sean's neck in a friendly hold that I imagine isn't. "Gotta go!" He hauls Sean down the hallway and through the door within seconds. My she-wolf wags her tail, pleased with the belated protection her alphason offered.

Mrs. Green looks at me and smiles gently. "Welcome, Ili. Breakfast is tomorrow at six. Nate will be back in the morning. He's excited to start your training. Would you like to sleep a little, or go over the menu I've prepared?"

"Sleep, please," I say faintly. Menu? Training? That numbness was creeping back. Or, maybe, I'm just exhausted after... everything. Where's my handy-dandy hatred? It's all just gone for the moment.

"Sweet dreams, sweetie," Mrs. Green leaves me alone in the pretty guest room. She's so nice. It makes me wonder where Sean went wrong.

I curl into my cocoon and let my eyes drift closed. My she-wolf is already shivering from the cold. I hate this feeling of freezing numbness.

---

It's one o'clock in the morning when I make it back to my room. Every part of my body hurts. I've trained with Conner for years, but I'm not sure where he learned to hit so subtly but effectively. I feel like he ran me over with his truck, but I could swear he barely touched me.

I'm in the packhouse, near my parents' place, but I'm reluctant to even this far from Ili. Especially because I'm not sure if I trust her to not bolt. What if tonight she runs from me? What if my idiocy earlier with her family kicks her right over the edge?

I toss my keys and wallet on the kitchen counter. My apartment is small, one of the one-bedroom bachelor pads, so I smell her as soon as I turn around. Georgina.

"Sean," her sultry voice interrupts my thoughts.

"What the hell are you doing here, Georgina?" We aren't friends anymore and she hasn't been welcome in my personal space since she sucked Conner's dick over a year ago. My wolf is worse. Groggy, but not completely out, he peels back his upper lip in a blatant threat towards my former lover.

"I want to know what's going on with my sister," Georgina says.

"It's really none of your business, Georgina, now get out," I say mildly. I have to keep my cool. I lost it once today, with Ili getting the brunt of my temper. I sure as fuck won't lose it with Georgina and feed the gossip about us.

I flip the light on and almost choke. Georgina changed clothes from dinner. I wasn't really paying her any attention earlier, but I am positive that she wasn't wearing this bright red minidress that barely covers anything important. Her long blond hair is down, bright red lipstick painted on her lips. Shit. I remember this dress. I remember fucking her in this dress because, damn, she looks good. Well, she looked good, now my blood runs cold and my dick is limp. Ili is literally a few hundred feet away from me, hopefully sleeping peacefully, and all me and my wolf want is our mate.

She stiffens before relaxing and standing up from the couch to saunter over to me. "Are you seriously pursuing my sister, Sean?"

I raise an eyebrow at her. "She's my mate, Georgina," I remind her. It feels good to say it outloud.

Her expression grows frosty. "You told me, so many times, that you weren't interested in that skinny, ugly tramp!"

A red haze is washing over me. Shit. I growl, "get the fuck out, Georgina. I sure as hell don't owe you an explanation."

Tears prick her eyelashes suddenly. "I apologized and apologized about that thing with Conner, Sean. You can't just toss me to the side for my sister!"

"But you think that I can toss her aside for you? My own mate?" I hiss. I don't bother to dwell on the past when I stupidly planned to do just that. I don't care how hypocritical this makes me. "And what the fuck was tonight about, Georgie?" I use the nickname she hates so much. "How the fuck did you convince Alpha to let you move in next to me?"

Her furious expression becomes smug. "I am going to be the alpha female of this pack, Sean. You and I could be great together. Iliana will never be good enough, so why are you doing this?"

Georgina is competitive, I always knew that. I'm starting to see that Ili is just as competitive as her sister. Hell, she's more competitive. More successful, too. She didn't get those skating trophies by accident. How much time and effort does it take to be that good at something? Georgina's claim to fame has been her cheerleading, which never went beyond high school, and her association with me and through me, Conner. Georgina is a clinger.

I've been helping Georgina achieve her high status for years, assuming that she is the best female this pack has to offer, while purposefully blinding myself to my own mate's worth. I've been stabbing my soulmate in the back to help her rival and it needs to stop.

"You're jealous of her," I tell Georgina bluntly. The flare of rage in her eyes confirms it. It makes sense.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" she scoffs.

I frown at her. "How many years have we been friends, Georgina? All that time and you never mentioned how good your sister is at skating." My mind flickers to the box of memories I stole from Leelee's room. Her report cards are all there, saved, and neatly stored away. Leelee may be a little bit OCD, to tell the truth. She's smart, good grades, amazing ability on ice. Her sweet little journal is organized lists. Lists of her training. Lists of Soltice gift ideas. Lists of her friends' birthdays, favorite colors, and hobbies. No drama or insight into pup crushes she may have had.

"So what?" Georgina asks, shrilly.

"So, it slipped your mind?" I say sarcastically. "You were always quick to find shit to criticize about Ili, but you never had anything good to say."

Her cold blue eyes grow even frostier. "Is that your deal, Sean? Pretend as if the problems you have with Iliana are my fault? You were right there with me, planning on rejecting-"

"Shut up!" I snarl, cutting her off. She pales and steps back from me. "You were a mistake, Georgie," I sneer.

Everything is quiet for a long moment. My wolf is standing, head bowed, canines exposed. His chest is heaving with the strain of lifting his body from the ground even this much.

"I don't like my sister, Sean, true, but I am the best female of our generation. I know I am. Lili is a good skater, but that's all she ever will be, a has-been, one-talent wolf. She's mean and hurtful and selfish. When you figure it out, I'll still be Alpha female, and she'll be doing nothing but being the loner, pathetic girl she always has been." Georgina squares her shoulders and stalks past me out of my apartment, slamming the door behind her.

I need to get out of here. Her stench is permeating the air. I hastily walk to the two windows, one in the kitchen the other in the bedroom, and open them. Turning down the thermostat I can only hope the place airs out quick.

I walk down the hallway five minutes later, my hands tucked in my pants and my shoulders slouched against the weight of Georgina's nastiness.

"Mom, is the other guestroom set up?"

"Are you staying here tonight, Sean? I thought you had training?" Mom sounds surprised. I've avoided being too close to Mom for years. I hate when my wolf snaps at her.

"Training was canceled," I say abruptly. No elaboration. I was going to give Ili some space, but after the scene in my apartment, all I need is my mate nearby. I'll never be able to sleep with the scent of Georgina clinging to my place. I'd rather run home to mommy and daddy like a fucking pup.

"Well, sure, I'll just grab some sheets-"

"I'll do it," I offer. The image of how quick Ili was to assume responsibility for her room runs through my mind. I shouldn't even be waking my mom up right now. I guess it's from years of being a mom to a teenage male. She's wired to wake up at the slightest sound. "Go sleep, Mom. I'll just check on Ili then I am hitting the sack."

Mom smiles sleepily and pats my cheek, "goodnight, Sean." She meanders down the hall to the master bedroom.

"'Night, Mom."