I haven't talked to Adrian since the night he got his heat.

Even now we are still on it but we are controlling ourselves because of Lily.

Adrian is still half in control, but he won't talk to me. He would just see what's happening ok the outside world and make noises.

He was terrified of losing Lily, so he doesn't like that in the one outside talking to her and not him.

At times he would talk to her she wouldn't notice that it's him though.

I know I'm different than him but she has to get it together.

Adrian will be like this until I let him take full control.

I believe the moon goddess is furious at us at the moment.

The reason being is that we are not trying to convince her, trying to make her fall in love with us.

She's seeing the lack of effort we are doing and it's annoying her.

As "human" they don't know her as much as the wolf inside do.

Adrian is my "human".

As wolves we have our own laws that are different form out humans laws.

We are allowed to kill if it's to protect someone. We are not allowed to kill for our pleasure. We are not allowed to cower down from a fight but our human may decline. We have many different rules.

No human knows the actual reason on why we have mates.

They just believe it's because the Moon Goddess wanted to make us happy.

The history of mates is actually very dark and bloody.

We were never allowed to tell our human the truth on out mate and why they feel like all tingly.

"Shut up he wasn't always bad it's my fault ok." Lily whisper breaks the silence and my thoughts.

I shook my head and growled.

"Ha bad You're Blind you don't see it do you!" I yell at her knowing the truth about her father.

What good father will harm their child after there partner died?

A good father would protect their child, love there child, fill the emptiness of losing a mother.

He doesn't deserve to be called her father. He should be rotting in hell as Satan penetrates him in the ass.

He should burn for all eternity.

As a little wolf my head always been in the wrong.

I loathed everyone with a passion especially if they hurt someone I love.

Then the Moon Goddess assigned me to Adrian and that's how I learned the love of parents.

"No lily you don't understand stop calling that stupid idiot your father!"I yelled as I see her cower down I let out a sigh.

"Sorry lily but you know it's the truth he did awful things to you he doesn't deserve to be call your father." I calmly state not trying to scare her again.

"Hey when will I be able to get out of your head?" I hear Adrian whisper talking to me in days.

I laughed I should've known he wouldn't wait and let me argue with her.

He is my human which means he does have an evil-crazy side to him which makes me strong.

"Ah Adrian you're back."I chucked amused at his actions.

"Yea..I can't wait I don't feel that bad anymore yea, it felt horrible the feeling of my burning eyes and how my heart felt like a whale landed on it, now it's just numb I don't think I'm able to move."He said thinking about his actions on that fateful night.

Of course he feels better I would be insulted if he was still in pain.

The reason being is because I'm taking in all his pain. I made sure he wasn't feeling any of it he wouldn't handle it.

No human would.

"Are you talking to Adrian?" Lily soft voice breaks my conversation with Adrian.

Huh? How did she know?

I look at her trying to figure her thoughts.

"You seemed spaced out as I was talking to you as if you were talking to someone else."Lily says as she blushed.

I smiled and ran a lone finger across a cheek making her blush even more.

I like it when she blushed.

"Hey hey did you forget about me?" I hear Adrian voice and right away responded.

"Be quiet will you I'm talking to her but yea of course you are feeling better I'm taking all your pain away so be quiet little man." I roll my eyes how did he not figure that out.

"What's your problem? I never told you to take it away stop acting like without you I'll die and now switch with me I want to talk to her seriously it's boring here." He yelled annoyed.

I start laughing "haha you think you wouldn't die? Haha.. Sorry to burst your bubble but you would die remember without me you're just a normal human."

I hear him sigh and then I shook my head going back to lily.

"Oh yea he's very moody right now." I snicker knowing he can hear everything.

"Oh.." I hear her voice and it sounded sad and...disappointed?

I grab her chin and smile "hey cheer up I don't want you sad if it makes you feel better he doesn't either."

I know she wants him more than me and I'm not fine with that because she doesn't have her own wolf for me.

Which means I'll always feel lonely.

Sure I'm not human but giving some love to the wolf wouldn't hurt would it?

"Can you not? That's disgusting you know I can hear your thoughts right idiot."

Ahh I forgot to block my thoughts from him.

I snicker and brought Lily face closer to mine.

"Hey what are you do-" I chuckled once more and brought my lips to hers interrupting her sentence.

As our lips collided I could feel Lily tensing up plus Adrian yelling in my head.

She wouldn't let me inside so I poked her side making her gasp.

I then made myself home.

As I was enjoying myself I feel Lily hands trying to push me away which makes me growl.

She then proceed to bite my bottom lip as hard as she can making it bleed.

I jump away from her growling.

"DID YOU JUST BITE ME?" I yelled I was pissed.

I could hear Adrian laughing.

Yea I know the moon goddess would be mad at me for making a move on the human mate.

But is it really my fault?

I have no one everyone around me does.

This is why I don't understand The moon Goddess at all why would she make a werewolf have a human mate?

The human will have the love of their life but hey who gives a damn about the wolf.

I growled loudly pissed at everything.

I AM an alpha I deserve my own mate.

Technically Lily is considered mine but at the same time she's not.

"Stop stop Red Stop." Lily yells at me crying.

I look at my hand and I see a piece of glass in my hand cutting deep into my hand.

I look behind me and notice I broke the large mirror.

When did I do that?

I let go of the broken piece of glass.

I stand there shock what's wrong with me?

I'm I actually jealous of a..Human?

I widen my eyes and let out an ear wrenching scream.

At that moment I realized that I have to calm down.

I was becoming a rouge and I never even noticed I look at myself in the broken mirror and saw my irises a dark red and my white sclera has become black.

I was killing myself with jealousy.

Adrian started screaming feeling pain.

He was feeling the pain I never wanted to give him.

The pain of insanity.

The pain of losing everything.

I look back at lily her crying face filled with fear.

This time I knew I screwed up.

I shouldn't have taken control.

I let my jealousy get the best of me.

I frown as I try to take a step toward lily and she falls putting her head between her legs.

Whispering "That's not Adrian" over and over.

I walk up to the window opening the curtains. I widen my eyes as I see the full moon and the thing was it was also raining outside.

The moon would normally hide behind the dark clouds but tonight if it was sad and knew I was looking at it.

It shined around the rain clouds.

I closed the curtains right away and walked toward Lily.

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry I was blinded by jealousy." I whisper feeling ashamed of my actions.

Lily never looked up at me I knew she didn't want to see me.

I closed my eyes and looked at her once more.

After a minute I shook my head and went toward the bathroom.

I needed to leave her alone I also needed to collect my thoughts.

I closed the door sighing knowing that Adrian will never forgive me and worst Lily will never forgive me.

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~ZzzDreamZzz