h i m ( p a r t 3 ) - r a y

dear ray,

every memory of you is engraved

in my mind,

sculpted with lies and erected

with defiance.

the two hearts met on 27th of may,

and i still can't bring myself to

look away.

dear ray,

you were the boy in the grey

sweater and it kills me

because i should've known better,

than to trust a boy with

pretty brown eyes and

to let myself think there's

hope.

eleventh of june,

the day my heart dared to trust

again,

only to have it shattered into

pieces like glass.

dear ray,

you were a rose,

admired by so many who craved it

blindly,

only to be stung by your thorns.

27th of july,

a boy with pretty brown eyes

saved the piece of glass

from breaking,

but he didn't know underneath

the smile was a heart clenching.

dear ray,

i hate you for giving me hope

when all you did was

take it away from me, again.

i hope you all see this pathetic

love story,

and pity the girl who thought

she could be loved.

ray, ray, ray,

i hate you for being so beautiful

and having those pretty brown eyes,

i hate you for making me

think that I could be alright,

someday.

maybe.

maybe i would be alright,

if i hadn't met you.

maybe i wouldn't be broken,

maybe i wouldn't hate myself.

christmas eve,

the pretty brown eyes glanced into

the brokenhearted ones,

and they held warmth, comfort

and love.

ray, ray, ray,

how dare you?

how dare you have the audacity

to look me in the eye and

say you love me?

how dare you smile at me and

interwine our pinkies

then make empty promises?

i fucking hate you.

i wish i had never met you,

i wish i never thought you actually

loved me,

i wish i didn't have to put a blade

in my skin for you to look at me.

i wish i didn't fucking love you.

ray, ray, ray,

maybe.

maybe this world wouldn't be

insane,

maybe the broken eyes would be

filled with heaps of happiness,

maybe the silence wouldn't make

me scream,

maybe the blade in my skin

wouldn't be the reason you would

finally look at me.

but that didn't happen.

ray, ray, ray,

the world is insane,

the broken eyes are filled with

a sea of sorrows,

the silence makes me scream

and the blade in my skin

is the only reason you would look

at me.

ray, ray, ray,

your brown eyes aren't pretty,

they are beaded with betrayal

and they tell tales of resentment.

your lips are stitched with

empty promises and lies.

ray, ray, ray,

you aren't the boy who saves the

damsel in distress,

you are the monster she runs

away from,

my eyes don't flinch at the touch

of a stranger,

they flinch at the sight of you.

ray, ray, ray,

you goddamned fool,

this isn't a love story and we don't

have paper hearts

to turn into planes and blow away

with tender kisses.

this is a story about murder,

it is not my thoughts that kill me;

it is the glimpses of your soul

tearing my heart,

eating away my emotions,

slitting my skin with your lies and

stitching my lips with your

godforsaken illusions.

ray, ray, ray,

you are the reason why

the girl with broken eyes wonders

about her worth,

you are the reason her hands

latch around her throat to take the

oxygen away, and with it, the pain.

ray, ray, ray,

how could you have the guts to

look into her soul and snatch her

heart right out of her rib cage?

how could you let the demons dance

onto verses of your secrets?

ray, ray, ray,

you are not a boy,

you are a monster feeding on flickers

of hope.

.

[Hello! Hope u liked this series ♡︎

I'm leaving two cover options for this

book below, please choose the one

you would prefer. I couldn't choose

between the original and black and

white (major issues.)

- angel ♡︎ ]

Option 1. Original

Option 2. Black and White copy.