As soon as Zayn walked in the door of his home, he heard his cellphone ringing. He sighed and then wiped his face with a washcloth before looking at the caller ID. It was Louis. So he answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Where are you? Are we still on for this evening or what?"

"I just finished."

"Finished what? And why are you breathing so hard?" Then he gasped. "Were you masturbating?"

Zayn frowned. "What? No, Lou. Some of us have actual yards to cut unlike you. And in case you weren't familiar with that kind of work, it's not easy in the summer heat. So people tend to be out of breath and in need of hydration when they've finished."

"Mhm." He said but it sounded like he was accusing him in a playful manner.

"Why do you always have such a twisted mind when it comes to me? You can't just be normal?"

"What's normal?"

"Not you."

"Oh. Then no. I can't be normal."

Zayn rolled his eyes and rushed to change the topic. "Anyway, I just finished mowing the lawn and yes, we're still on. But only after I shower and get something cool to drink before I pass out." He went into the kitchen and put the phone on speaker while he washed his hands.

"Do you know what time you'll be done?"

"Not really."

"Not even an estimate?"

"No, but I'll be there, okay? I promise."

"And I'll be waiting."

"Thank you."

Louis was the one to hang up, so Zayn didn't have to. And after getting himself a cool drink, he made his way to the shower so he could get ready for the evening.

* * *

A little after seven o'clock, Zayn finally showed up at Louis' place. He chuckled when his best friend opened the door wearing an apron with the words "I suck at cooking" printed on the front.

"Welcome to my humble abode."

"Hmph. There is nothing humble about you rushing me over here."

"Hey. You're the one who called me originally and I did not slave in the kitchen all afternoon and evening just for you to show up late."

"Am I not here now?"

"Yes. But you're still late."

Zayn smiled and followed him into the kitchen. "Sorry. I didn't realize it would take me that long to finish the yard. But it does smell good."

"Thank you. That's the garlic Parmesan potatoes that I just took out of the oven. Right now, I only have to cook the T-bone steaks. How do you like yours cooked?"

"Medium."

Louis turned on a burner on the stove to heat the pan of very little oil. He folded his arms and looked at Zayn. "So..."

"What?"

"Why are you here? You can't just call me and tell me you wanna see me and not expect me to worry. You never do this."

"I know."

"So why'd you ask to come over?"

"You just said why."

"Why? What did I say?"

"Because I never do this."

He turned his head sideways and took off his glasses. "So you're doing this because you never do this?"

"Yes."

"Is there a reason? And should I be worried?"

He laughed quietly. "No. You should not be worried. This is a good thing. You'll see."

They stood there just looking at each other until Louis finally put his glasses on again. "Alright then. As soon as I'm finished cooking the steaks, we can make good use of it."

"Yes. Thank you."

While Louis was cooking the meat, Zayn went to the living room. As he looked at the pictures of Louis and his family on the side table, he thought about the evening ahead. To be honest, when he called three days ago and said he wanted to come over, he had no plans at all. It was Louis who suggested cooking dinner but Zayn just wanted to spend time with him and see what was on his mind. Ever since dinner at Maitea's, the way Louis looked over at he and Harry had been on his mind. There were some things he wanted to say to him about the recent changes in his life.

It didn't take long at all for the meat to cook and they were finally sitting on the couch, with their plates on the coffee table in front of them. Zayn found it quite funny that Louis had a small table in the little dining area where they could sit up and eat but would much rather crouch to eat a steak dinner over the coffee table in the living room. It was true that despite Zayn being away for a bit, Louis did not change much at all. But he couldn't truthfully say the same for himself.

They had finished eating a half hour later and leaned back against the couch. Zayn had to admit that he really loved Louis after he'd eaten a meal. Because for some reason there was a carefreeness about him that made it as if eating food made him a happy drunk. It was easier to give him heavy news or discuss something serious with him. So he was so glad Louis cooked the meal after all.

"I rarely eat in my own home these days." Zayn said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I've been either going out or eating over family and friend's houses."

"So that's why you asked to visit. You wanted me to cook for you?"

He chuckled. "No. I wanted to talk."

"Talk? About what?"

"About me and you and our friendship. I know we've hung out a few times since I came back but we haven't caught up with each other fully yet."

"Fully?"

"Yeah, you know. All the way. I missed a lot of time with you while I was at college."

He waved a hand at him. "It's okay."

"Is it though? I mean, we were best friends and we kinda only had each other as we transitioned into adulthood. But then I went away and didn't keep up with you anymore."

Louis looked up at the ceiling. "I know."

"So what did you do while I was gone? You didn't really make any new friends or date anyone, I know. So what did you spend your time doing?"

"Nothing special. Studying. Preparing for my dream job. That was my only goal. I didn't need others around to do that."

"Why didn't you try to make new friends?"

He shrugged. "Who was I going to make friends with? I barely made friends with you. And half the time I think we only started our bond over Tony."

Zayn cringed as he remembered the boy who used to always seek them out in high school. "Because we did and there's nothing wrong with that. But I do still wish you had expanded your friend group."

"Why, though?"

"Because what if something happened to me while I was away? You would've lost me for good."

Louis knew Zayn was right. But he also didn't want to come to terms with it either. "But I didn't."

"And yet I know that you still feel as if you are now."

Louis frowned and sat up. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

When Zayn sensed that he was becoming uneasy, he too sat up. "I'm not trying to be that friend that thinks they're more important to people than they really are. Gosh, I promise I'm not, Lou. It's just that I do know you and I want to ease your mind more than anything."

Louis had a confused expression and a half smile on his face but didn't say anything.

"When you first saw me in that shopping center, I had only been back about a month and a half then. So I was still dealing with all the stuff I had gone through at college. Even though I was trying to get to know you again then, I admit I was a bit selfish and self centered. I wasn't paying attention to others around me for dealing with my own problems."

"I didn't notice."

Zayn didn't believe that statement one bit. He knew that he noticed. "But then I met someone who started to change things for me and help me see that it's really not all bad. That even if I may have made some mistakes, life happened in a way that gave me a second chance, you know?"

"You're talking about Harry."

"Yes."

Louis sort of scrunched his face a little so Zayn angled his entire body toward him. "But Louis, that's why I wanted to come here and see you today. I know when we were at Maitea's house the other day, you kept looking over at us. I even glanced at you once and you looked away. I know that it's probably a whole lot to see me with him now."

"It's different."

"I know, I know."

"But way too different, Zayn."

"What do you mean?"

Louis frowned and angled his body towards him too. "It was you and me when we were in high school. Ever since freshman year. You were different from me then, true enough. But there were some things we had in common that made the friendship work."

"Yeah."

"Then we graduated and I went off to college. You didn't go until I was in my third year. But by then, we only spoke sporadically so we didn't speak at all when you left for school."

"I know."

"It was like... I knew you as the fun party type. The person who liked to get out and see things. You were always great looking but didn't date. We couldn't be more opposite but we still made it work for us. Then suddenly you came back and you were carrying all this baggage with you. About Heidi and a baby you thought you were going to have. And about new friends who ended up betraying you. You were not the same Zayn that I once knew."

"I know that."

"I was giving you your space a bit. At least I was trying to be a good friend and let you work through everything. But then you told me all about Harry and it just... it felt like I didn't really know you at all anymore."

"Because I'm friends with him?"

"Yes, that. But not just that, Zayn. I mean... you don't do things like that. You don't befriend people like him. Not saying that you're wrong to do so. I think it's great but you don't do that." Louis sighed. "I just have a hard time trying to get to know you again because I feel like when you went away, you left the person that I knew up there where you went to college. And I'm just not sure which side of you actually befriended me to begin with. Was it the old one that's moved on or was it this one?"

That question really got Zayn. "Louis, I'm still me. Just because I'm a bit different, it doesn't mean I transformed completely. The only reason we ever got along at all was because of this side of me."

"But not this noticeable. I could never see this. You and Harry. There are so many things about this that would have made the whole thing impossible five years ago. Not just you befriending him but you actually dating him and kissing him. He's a man and a blind man who'll never ever get to see your beautiful face. You would've never done that. You wouldn't. You went from having a girlfriend and wanting to marry her and having a baby with her... to him."

Zayn only looked at him now. Everything he was saying was true. Nineteen year old Zayn probably would've took one look at Harry and kept going. He would have never wasted his good looks on someone who couldn't see them. But twenty four year old Zayn was suddenly different from then so he could understand his reasons for becoming worried about who he had always known his friend to be versus who his friend really was now.

"I get it. I do. And it's different for me too. I haven't fully come to terms with it yet either to be honest. But I also can't walk away because I know that whatever I feel for him is genuine. There is so much that he has done for me that I can't even count. You don't know because I didn't want to tell anyone until I was almost certain I wouldn't let myself down. But I haven't picked up a cigarette in almost two months. Can you believe it?"

Louis' face settled. "Wait. Really?"

"Really. And yeah, I was gonna do it for Heidi and the baby but this is different because this time I'm doing it for me. Because it's something I want to do. And it feels good to know that I made this decision for me and no one else. That's why I say this whole experience with Harry is like a second chance for me. For me to see that I can do good for others and for myself. And I have."

Louis had gone quiet but managed to vocalize his shock. "Wow. I can't believe it."

"I know."

"You've really quit smoking."

"Yep."

"Wow."

Zayn laughed quietly and sat back against the couch again. "It's amazing too, Lou and I'm happy. Like... genuinely happy and happier than I've been in a long time."

"Because of Harry?"

"Because I'm home with you and my family, the people I know most and that know me most. Harry... there's plenty of time for Harry to mean more to me. We're just now starting out and like I said, I'm still getting used to it. So there's no need to rush to state how large his role is in my life."

Louis leaned against the couch too. "Aw. Still getting used it. Does that mean you actually find it a little bit weird?"

He shook his head. "Suprisingly no. What makes a relationship like this not weird is that you stop seeing gender as important. If you really think about it, we only find it weird because we know it's another guy. But if you were blindfolded and someone put three people in front of you for a kissing game and told you all of them were girls, you wouldn't even know that it's actually two girls and one guy that you kissed. Kissing is the same."

"Okay, true. But not the sex."

Zayn caught his breath. "I know, but we're taking that part of this relationship slow right now. I mean, I'm jumping in with two feet but only into shallow waters, you know."

"So you haven't done anything outside of kissing him?"

"I didn't say that. I said we're taking the sex thing slow."

"So you have done more with him. Hmm."

"Louis, please."

"What?"

"That's private and you know that."

He laughed. "I'm just curious. That's all."

"I know you are but what we do together in private is not important. What's important is that you know that no matter how much time I spend with Harry or how far Harry and I take things in the future, I'll never replace you or leave you behind. You're still my first best friend and you mean so much to me. I do love you, Louis."

Louis found his last sentence comforting but couldn't resist being himself and not taking it as serious as he should. "I know you do. But not just me. There's one more that you have to love."

"Who?"

Louis got up and left the living room. A minute later, he appeared with Peanut in his hand.

Zayn scoffed. "Your hamster?"

"Yes. Look this cute little face." He said in his best baby talk. He sat the hamster down in Zayn's lap. "Tell Peanut you love him too."

Peanut had been awakened by Louis so he was only interested in nestling in between Zayn's legs so he could go back to sleep.

"You can't be serious."

"I am. Do it."

Zayn scooped the hamster up and corralled him in his palm. "I love you too, Peanut. Even though your owner is making me say this, which is so stupid."

He held the creature out to Louis, who gladly took him. "See that? He loves you too, Peanut. Yes he does."

He watched Louis sit down next to him and put the hamster on his shoulder. "Maybe we should find you a boyfriend too. Might make you a better you so you can stop talking to hamsters."

But Louis frowned before putting his feet up on the couch. "Stop talking to hamsters? In your dreams, Malik."

They laughed. But no one commented on the fact that he forgot to deny himself a boyfriend.

* * *

Later that night when Zayn returned home, he went straight to his bedroom and sat on the bed. It was the first time he could just sit and rest since he woke up this morning and he was enjoying the quiet time.

As he looked around the room, he spotted a small notepad on his dresser. Obviously, it was the one Harry had given him, so he got up and went to pick it up. Right away, he opened it to the page he had written on before. His two goals were looking back up at him and he smiled when he thought back to the day Harry gave him the pad to write them down on.

It wasn't until now that he understood the significance of writing "I will" instead of "I want" that day. The goal was never to want to do it. It was to actually do it. And he did. As far as he was concerned, he would not be picking up another cigarette again. He was done smoking for good. The first of his two goals was complete.

When he glanced down, he spotted the pen Harry gave him, so he picked that up and used it to write a checkmark next to the first goal. But then his eyes dropped to the next line below.

I will fall in love with someone.

He did wish to fall in love but the problem was that he hadn't determined who that someone was going to be yet. Of course he wasn't sure that it would turn out to be his current partner and of course he didn't know if he ever would accomplish that goal and fall in love again at all. But it didn't hurt to let his mind wander just a little bit. Perhaps he was right in what he told Louis earlier. Harry didn't mean as much to him now as his family and highschool best friend did. But who knows? That did not mean that he would not eventually end up being the reason Zayn finally got to pin the second checkmark next to goal number two.