The next two weeks were spent with Lannan attached to my hip. Anywhere I went he went with me. We spent all of our time together, knowing that it was coming to an end. On our last day he sat me down and asked if I would want to film a video with him.

"It doesn't have to be posted for everyone to see. Just for me. When I miss you and want to see you." I thought for a moment and finally nodded. "I was thinking maybe a montage of all of our favorite places. Us just messing around." We first went to the airport where we met. At the entrance they have these giant street lights. He began filming and I went and hopped onto the stable part at the bottom, slightly swinging out. "Go for a spin!" I spun around the light laughing the whole time. He handed the camera to me and did the same thing before taking it back. He turned it towards us and then pulled me against him. He kissed my forehead and smiled at the camera before turning it off.

"What about the beach next?" We made three more stops after the airport. Each one a little sweeter than the last. Finally we got back to his apartment. "Can I stay with you? Just for tonight." He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Of course. I do have a question." I raised my eyebrows.

"If its a marriage proposal, I think it's a bit early." He laughed and shook his head.

"Would you be my girlfriend? I mean, officially. I know long distance is a lot to work with, but it's possible." Smiling, I nodded. "Thank God. That question has been eating me alive waiting for the right moment to ask."

"Is it okay if we keep it amongst us and a few others?" He nodded.

"Of course. Not everyone needs to know right now anyway. What are your plans when you get home?" I shrugged and plopped down on his couch.

"I'm not entirely sure. I know dad will more than likely want to go to The Southern Factory to make up for the lost time. Get ready for college. But it seems as if all of that has been derailed now." He raised his eyebrows at me and sat next to me on the couch.

"What do you mean "derailed"?" I pressed my head against the couch and shrugged.

"Nothing is gonna be the same now. I mean, I'm so glad I met you. I've seen long distance work, it's totally doable. But I thought about what it would be like to live in Australia. I haven't decided anything, and I'm not even sure if it's something I'm considering, but I've definitely thought about it. Elsah is the one way I can be close to my mom, but I also wanna be close to you." He smiled over at me and turned his attention to the tv. He changed the channel to the news and after a few minutes a picture of us flashed across the screen.

"You're famous." He said laughing. "I can post that you're just a friend or something." I shrugged.

"It's no big deal. I haven't been bombarded on social media or anything for that matter. They don't know my name, they don't exactly who I am, and right now I'm completely content. I don't want to change anything."

We spent the night laughing at each other's jokes and just enjoying the other's company. For the first time, in a very long time, being happy almost felt normal. But in the back of my mind that one sentence kept trying to edge its way into my thoughts. "Any time you're happy, something comes up out of the wood works and ruins it. Watch yourself." Lannan didn't seem at all fazed that this would be the last night we had together for a somewhat unacceptable amount of time. He had also made it clear that this is exactly what he wanted.

In some of his videos he had joked about being alone forever and not being able to find a girl who would actually look at him as Lannan, and not YouTube sensation Lazarbeam. There was no doubt in my mind that I enjoyed watching his videos, and at this point, I even considered myself what he would call "a bloody legend". But that didn't change the fact that when I looked at him all I saw was Lannan. A sweet Australian boy who had a knack for making videos on the internet. He had also mentioned that past girlfriends didn't like the idea of other girls watching his videos and drooling over him, but it didn't make much sense to me, if any at all. I was overjoyed at knowing there were other people he made happy. There were so many YouTubers that made my life bearable by just existing. Why would I want Lannan to be anything else for his viewers?

"How did you cope with losing your mom?" Lannan glanced over towards me, looking away from the show we had been watching. "You don't have to tell me, I'm just curious."

"At first, I guess you could say that I didn't. It was more of me ignoring the fact that she wasn't there. Out of sight, out of mind, ya know? But eventually I started to forget how she sounded, or how she laughed, and that terrified me." I sighed and clutched onto his hand that was placed on my leg. "It finally got to the point where I knew I needed to talk about her. I had to acknowledge that there was a part of my life missing. Like I've said before, I always dread the initial questions of what happened to my mom, but it feels good to talk about her. It's one way to keep her alive." Lannan sighed and placed his head on my shoulder.

"You're so brave. You amaze me. You survived one of the toughest experiences anyone can go through, and you're so open about it. I've never met a person like you." I smiled and began to trace little circles on the back of his hand.

"You're unlike anyone I've ever met before, as well. Maybe that's why I like you so much." He chuckled and nuzzled his nose into my neck.

"Ditto, baby. Ditto."