Lannan decided that night that we would spend the next day going on "spontaneous dates" as he called them. He knew that seeing Jacob had brought back unhappy memories and he was bound and determined to make me feel better. I can't say I didn't appreciate the gesture, but being asked every five minutes if I was okay began to get irritating. I knew it was out of the good of his heart, but I hated the sympathy he had.

"Lan, I appreciate this, I really do. But you don't have to continue asking if I'm okay. It shook me up, but I'll be fine." I placed my hands on his cheek and gave him a quick kiss. "I promise I'm okay." A frown etched itself onto his face and he dug his hands into his pockets.

"I just hated seeing you that way. Especially over something I can't control." I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed myself against him in a hug. His head resting on mine. "I can fuck him up." I pulled back just enough so that I could look into his eyes.

"Absolutely not. You, sir, are not gonna be getting in and fights. Understand?" He rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"Yes, mother." The sun was just beginning to set as we made it back to my house. "What would you like to do now? I don't think your dad is back yet." I glanced over at him as I dug through the fridge.

"How do you feel about serial killer documentaries and other YouTubers?" He shrugged as I grabbed two cans of dr. Pepper and handed one to him. "Kendall Rae. She has the best, and I mean the best, YouTube videos. Other than yours." He smiles and followed me to my room. "She makes a lot of videos about missing people and unsolved murders. Her content is incredible. Plus, it might help if you watched something other than fortnite videos."

"You're probably right." We started out watching her video on the disappearance of Kristin Smart. "So you're telling me, that law enforcement pretty much knows where she her remains are, but they won't dig them up?" Seeing the way he reacted to the videos and creators I liked left me in a state of shock. Jacob had never been as interested in the things I liked as much as Lannan was.

"Right. They refuse to fork out a little bit of money to dig up the area, so her family may never get the closure they deserve. It's such a shame when the officers you trust won't cooperate and help out the community." I could tell Lannan was getting tired as we clicked onto the next video. His eyes began to flutter shut and within minutes he was asleep. I kissed his nose and curled up into his side, continuing to watch the video. My phone began to vibrate in my pocket and I pulled it out slowly, in an attempt to not bother Lannan.

I know what I did hurt you. And I'm sorry that I didn't have the courage to fight through our problems. But knowing you're in someone else's arms leave me unsettled and I can't help but think you still love me. That just doesn't go away. Nikki told me he lives in Australia, so maybe when he goes home, you and I can attempt to rekindle things between us. I love you, Sammie. Please respond.

I sighed to myself and began typing on my phone. I knew it wasn't the smartest decision but he was partially right. The feelings you have for people don't just go away, especially if they were true.

I wish I could say that that meant something to me. But Lannan has treated me the way I begged you too without me ever having to ask him. Maybe one day we can talk on a level as friends, but until then, I need you to quit texting me. I don't want Lannan to think something is going on when it clearly isn't.

I put my phone away and once again curled into Lannan's side. His soft snores soothed me into what I could only assume would be a peaceful slumber. Hours has passed by the time I woke up. Lannan was still asleep next to me, but he was now turned away. Smiling, I wrapped my arm loosely around his waist and pressed my head against the pillow. His phone began to ring, but it didn't seem to bother him any as he continued to sleep peacefully. I finally decided to drag myself out of bed and made my way to the kitchen.

Once there I found my dad sipping on a cup of coffee and reading the morning news paper. When he noticed I was in the room he set it down and motioned for me to sit next to him.

"Sam, can I tell you something?" I nodded and he cleared his throat. "I don't know what happened the other night, or why you were so upset, but I can only assume it was because of Jacob. This isn't about that though." He pauses motioning to the stairs. "That man up there, the way he looks at you is like no other. He looks at you like you put the stars in the sky. And I've only ever seen that look once before. It was the same look I gave your mother." I could feel a lump forming in my throat but continued to remain quiet. "I know the love you had for Jacob was blinding. Maybe even life-altering. But don't ever take that man upstairs for granted. Jacob is only temporary, and as long as he is around, he will hurt you. Lannan is a nice kid, your mom would like him." I reached out and hugged my dad. He never really liked any of the boys I would bring home, so knowing that he appreciated what Lannan does for me was refreshing.

I sat with him for a short time before heading back upstairs. Lannan was still asleep so I curled up next to him and fell asleep knowing that I was lucky he was in my bed and not someone else's.

**short disclosure. In this chapter I mention Kristin Smart who disappeared May 25, 1996. If you'd like to learn more about her, or her organization, the website is kristinsmart.org thank you for taking the time to read my book, and helping me get her name out there once again.**