"It only beats for you, love." His words continued to echo throughout my mind. He had sounded so sincere when he said it and I knew that he had meant it. We had been back in Australia for a couple days now and it seemed as if he was miles away. He had been avoiding my phone calls, turning down plans, and when I knocked on his door Tannar refused to let me in. There were no words for how I was feeling, and my heart stung at the fact that Lannan was deliberately ignoring me.

It was a rainy day here and all I wanted was to be cuddled up in bed with the man I was in love with. I quickly dialed his number and it began to ring. "You've reached Lannan. Leave a message ya bloody legend!" And then static. I was beginning to get used to not hearing his voice, but it felt nice just hearing it. I knew that if I continued to call him just to hear his voicemail message that he would become irritated.

"Hey, Lan. Uh, I miss you. And I had a whole message planned out, but now I've forgotten what I want to say." I paused looking down at my vacant hand. Noticing the peeling of my nail polish. "I love you. I'm not sure what I've done or haven't done, but I miss hearing your voice." I could feel my throat begin to burn and I vowed I wouldn't cry. "If you could call me back that would be great. Like I said I miss-"

"You have reached the message limit. If you would like to re-record your message, press one." So I ended the call and collapsed back on my bed. This aching was awful. It felt like a black hole had replaced my chest and any feeling I had was being violently sucked into it. I didn't know what felt worse, feeling all the pain, or feeling nothing at all. My phone began to vibrate in my hand and I quickly sat up. Lan ❤️.

"Lannan, I'm so glad you called. I miss you so much. Are you busy?" The silence on the other end seemed to last for ages.

"I can't. Can you please stop calling? I've got a lot of work for YouTube that I need to do, and you're disrupting me." The words felt like a punch in the gut.

"Have I done something wrong Lannan? You've avoided me and refused to talk to me since we've been back." I could hear his sigh from across the line.

"Right now just isn't a good time." Tears began to well up in my eyes but I viciously wiped them away before they could fall.

"For what? For us? If that's the case, then consider this me being done." And with that, I hung up. I quickly texted Kath before chucking my phone across the room. Part of me felt as if I had over-reacted. While the other part applauded me for saying what I said. Lannan knew what happened with Jacob, and for the first time since we've been together, it felt as if Lannan had turned into a new version of the person that I hated so much. I sighed and slowly went to retrieve my phone. Lannan had called once again but I was more interested in what Kath had to say.

"Hey, Sammie. Just got your message. Meet up for lunch? X" I texted back in agreement and began to make my way to my favorite diner. Since it was only a few short blocks I decided that the the rain wasn't bad enough that I couldn't walk. My phone vibrated once more and it was a text from Lannan.

"Sammie, you know that isn't what I meant. Let me finish my work and I will come over and we can talk. Please don't do this. I love you. See you soon." I felt the urge to text him back, but once again, the damage was already done. Once I arrived at the diner, I picked a seat that was near the back. Kath wandered in not long after I seated myself.

"You okay, Sammie?" I shrugged. "You can talk to me. You know you can."

"Lannan has been ignoring me. He's avoided my phone calls, he refused to speak to me when I went to visit him, and just now he wouldn't explain anything to me." I leaned back against my chair. "I think he's getting bored with me."

"That's not at all what's happening. Sammie, Lannan loves you so much. I haven't seen him creating this much quality content in a long time. The reason he's been dodging you is because he's planning something incredibly special. I wasn't suppose to tell you, but I know how it feels to feel as if you've been set on the back burner. He knows you've been through the ringer and just wanted to find a way to show you he loves you." I throw my head into my hands at her words. Of course he's only planning something special.

"I'm an idiot." Kath giggles and grabs either of my arms with her hands.

"Of course. But that's why you fit in so well with us. We're all mad." Kath insists on buying me lunch and we spend the next few hours laughing way too hard at our own jokes. Her phone makes a notification sound and she looks down at it before smiling up at me. "Check YouTube." Raising an eyebrow, I do as she says. The first video that shows up in my suggested is a new one from Lannan. With trembling fingers I click on it.

"What's up, ya bloody legends? I know I've been a bit vacant from the internet for the last couple weeks, but I have a couple announcements I wanna make before this video continues." He pauses, twirling around in his chair. "One, I've recently hit 6 million subscribers, which is absolutely fucking wild. Two, I've been in America on an important trip with my beautiful girlfriend and I needed a favor from everyone. She's been feeling down lately, and I want you all to send her some love. Send girlfriendlazar all the love you can give. Three, don't forget to use code lazarbeam in the items shop. Now let's get on with the video!" I thought it was just gonna be another Fortnite video, but instead my face appeared on the screen. It was a bunch of clips he had edited together of moments when he was recording me. Most of them were times when I wasn't paying attention. The last clip that appeared was one of us on a hike. I was ahead of him looking off at the view in front of us. He turned the camera towards his face and he was smiling. "Isn't she beautiful?" And with that the video ended. My heart was pounding in my chest now. The last couple days of static from him felt like nothing.

"I have to go Kath. I'll see you later." I threw my arms around her and gave her a quick hug before jogging home. When I got to my house, I noticed the familiar car sitting in my driveway. I bolted to the front door and the second I stepped in I found Lannan sitting at the kitchen counter. He was looking down at his phone still unaware of my presence. "Hi, Lan." He finally looked over at me before scooting his chair back and opening his arms. Without hesitation I raced into them.

"I love you so much, baby. I'm sorry I've been so vacant the last couple days." I hummed as he rocked us back and forth. "I have something for you." I pulled away and watched as he rose from the chair. He began fumbling in his pocket.

"If you pull out a condom I'm gonna be pissed." I said giggling. He rolled his eyes.

"It's not a condom, but I have one of those too." Finally after a few more seconds he pulled a small box from his pocket. It looked as if he had wrapped it himself. He handed it to me and I slowly tore the wrapping from the box. Inside was a small ring with a circle of diamonds on it. "Now, I know it's too soon to propose. But I bought this promise ring because I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He gently placed his hands on either side of my face. "I know it's tough being with me. I know that sometimes it might not feel worth it. But baby girl, I'm yours as long as you'll have me." And with that he pressed his lips against mine. He slowly moved his hands down to my waist and began urging me to move backwards. I knew exactly what he wanted.

I also knew that he was gonna get it.