After getting home, we were outside, surrounded by friends. Everyone came over to make sure I got the best birthday as promised by the tattooed man beside me. Our son had his first fight, and we had more than one reason to celebrate.

Without snow on the ground, we figured today would be the best time for a fire. Kinnick shoveled out a hole a couple of months ago, making us a fire pit out of bricks. Even at the beginning of January, the fire kept us warm. My phone showed me a clear picture of Collins as she laid in her crib.

Over the fire, we roasted marshmallows. Trevor still gave me trouble about the first time we met. He invited Bryce with him. It was the first time I have saw him since we were at the Carson Club, celebrating Kinnick's win.

John was excited to have another Carson fighting in his gym. Kinnick and I both knew how much it hurt him when Kinnick stopped coming in every day. Now he has a reason to see him because as long as Chase trains, Kinnick will be there every day. John made it clear he wanted us around more. He missed how often we came in.

Now I am going to find myself spending more time at the gym to make sure everything is okay with Chase. It wasn't that I didn't trust Kinnick or John to take care of him, but a mom can never be too sure when her son is getting ready to walk into a fight. The first official fight to his career.

Chase wanted to know I would be there as if my promise wasn't enough the first time. If reassuring him every day was what I needed to do to let him I would be there, I would. I remember how much not only me but Kinnick needed reassurance. So, I will give my kids all of the reassurance in the world. I will do whatever it takes.

Chase came to sit next to me in the lawn chairs. "Are you okay with all of this, momma?"

"I am very happy for you," I looked up at him. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

He nodded. "I love fighting."

"I won't have to worry about you fighting outside of the ring, will I?"

"No," Kinnick spoke up. "I told him the second he fights outside of the ring he won't step back into one. That is our rule."

"Unless it is self-defense?"

Kinnick turned to me. "I wouldn't tell him to let somebody beat the shit out of him."

I snorted. "Okay, smartass."

After we were done at the restaurant, we asked John to take Chase back to his house. I decided to turn the video over to the police. Kinnick sat with me for a few hours as I told David, a close friend of mine on the force, about what happened to me. He listened with care and reached out to me after I was done. He wanted to let me know that if I needed anything, he would be there.

The friends I have made, who worked on the force and in the criminal justice system, were supportive. Nothing made me feel more comfortable than explaining my story to someone who would listen attentively and care. David sat there, allowing me to take my time without getting antsy.

My nerves were sky-rocketing. I haven't been able to stop moving. At my side, my hands were shaking. In my shoes, my legs bounced. Kinnick noticed. He moved me out of my seat to slide in underneath of me. I whispered a thank you into his ear as he pulled me onto his lap.

His hands were rubbing circles into my thigh. Feeling his chest on my back as his breath fanned over my ear, I could feel myself calming down. He never had to say anything. It was the way he soothed me without action.

"Why are you so shaky?" He murmured into my ear.

I laced our fingers. "I am going to sit in court and listen to an attorney tear me apart. They are going to try and turn me into nothing more than a drunken -"

"Don't finish that sentence."

"It is true," I sighed. "How come whenever someone is accused of rape, everyone believes them when they say it is a lie? Yet, the moment a victim comes forward, they automatically aren't telling the truth?"

"I don't know," he tightens his hold on me.

"They are going to find every reason to say it is my fault," I lay against his chest.

"Who is your defense attorney?"

"Marcus said he will help me figure it out," I shrugged. "Not sure, but he will be on the case to make sure nothing goes sideways."

"Marcus is a good friend."

"Yes," I nodded. "He always has been."

When a cry came from my phone, I saw that Collins was awake. I told Kinnick I would be back. After pushing through the door, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to realize he followed me. I wasn't sure why until I felt my eyes welling with tears.

"Collins is crying."

"So are you," he came toward me. "I know you are nervous about what they will say about you, but you told me the only reason you wanted to a prosecutor was to make sure no one walked away from something they didn't deserve to. You said you wouldn't let them walk away like Warren did. You aren't letting him walk away, Bo. You get the ending you wished for everybody else."

"What about -"

"Bo, there is a video. Hard evidence."

"How do I know?"

"Watch it," he swallows a harsh gulp. "That is the only way you are going to know. I know that is a lot. Honestly, you would be reliving it, but this time you won't be inside of your head. It will be from someone's point of view, just not yours."

"I'm scared," I choke. "I am so scared."

"It was just an idea," he cupped my cheeks. "You don't have to."

"I am going to watch it in court."

"I know, and I am sorry."

"I have to go check on the baby," I tell him.

He knew when I went up there, I was going to watch the video I was afraid most of. Although I wanted him to be there, I didn't know how to look at him afterward. I wouldn't know what to say. I needed to do this alone.

After scooping Collins into my arms, I sucked in a deep breath. I prepared a bottle, holding her as I fed her. My fingers swiped over my screen until I saw the video. The screen was black, waiting for me to press play, and the moment I did, I was shaking with adrenaline.

Luke's voice came through first. The sound of laughing. I could see flashlights shining through the room until they landed on me. The girl lying on the bed was asking everyone to stop. I hadn't realized I asked. I didn't realize I tried fighting him off, but he never moved. Everything was clear.

So, I shut it off. I locked my phone and I sat there. My eyes stared at the painting on the wall as the memories flooded through my mind. Not a single tear fell from my eyes. I have blamed myself for years, wondering if what happened was consensual because I didn't say no, even though I didn't say yes. Then I found out, I said no. I asked him to stop.

All I needed was something to tell me I wasn't at fault. "Momma?"

I looked up to see Chase. "Hey. Why aren't you downstairs?"

He pulled a present from behind his back. "I forgot to give you this earlier."

After lying Collins back down in her crib. I watched as he walked over to her, rubbing her stomach as I opened the present. My hands pulled at the wrapping paper until I realized it was a copy of Pride and Prejudice.

"Where did you get this?"

"I traded a few of my books for it at the bookstore," he shrugged. "You said it was the only classic missing on your shelf. Someone wrote on the pages, but it was the cheapest one I could find."

When I opened the cover, I saw tally marks in the corner. My mother's name was written at the bottom in cursive writing. I fell back into the chair as I stared down at her writing. Chase was asking me if I was okay.

"This was my mom's," I choked.

He looked down at me. "What?"

"Elizabeth Bennett," I ran my fingers over her name. "Just like it was written in the book."

When I flipped through the pages, I found the words I waited so long to see. That was when I realized the words I thought she highlighted are not the ones I assumed she did. Instead, a light blue color crossed the words, "In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed." Above she wrote a note.

In books I have lost myself, trying to find words to soothe me in my time of need. When I needed encouragement, I would turn here. Despite the shakiness of my voice, I spoke my mind. Regardless of the threat, I stood up for myself. Bo, even if it feels like the world is against you, don't stand down. Stand up. Speak your voice even if it shakes. Do not let anyone repress your feelings. Love, mom.