《College Students》❥ Chapter 55.
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Happy Friday guys! Hope you enjoy this chapter.
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I've hardly spoken to Issac or Ellie for a week. My days have been filled with cuddling Romeo, watching films and house viewing with dad and Cindy. Adelaide is the only one who can put an instant smile on my face.
I'm trying to be as positive as I can but I've realised how much I relied on Issac. Louise always told me to never rely on someone for happiness and I didn't because I didn't want Issac to be my source of happiness, but I've noticed how happy he does make me. I miss being in his arms, staring at his face, laughing with him over silly things, watching movies with him for hours, ect.
We do everything together and this week I've felt rather alone. I solely want to forgive him just because I love him so much but I can't, I know I can't.
Ellie's test is today and I've decided I'm going to show my face because despite all this I still care, I care about Ellie and this baby. I stare at myself in the mirror. My hair is a high pony tail with a few strands framing my face. I don't wear much makeup because It irritates me after a while, so only a flick of mascara has been used.
I have chosen to wear some black skinny jeans and a creamy white cropped jumper, so I can show off my new belt. I sigh, "Ready to go sweetie?" Mom appears at my door frame, a warm smile forms.
I nod and follow her downstairs. She picks up Romeo causing me to raise my eyebrows. "He'll like a nice ride out" She strokes his head. I laugh, even though Ro is my dog, I think mom has grown rather fond of him.
When we have all of our needed things we head to the car, strapping Romeo in the back and drive off. With every passing tree I become more and more nervous. "Is everything okay honey?" Mom keeps her eyes on the road.
"Yeah" I mumble sheepishly. Mom always knowns when I'm lying, I don't know how, but she does. "C'mon, tell me" The car slowly crawls in the traffic.
"Issac has been lying to me" Tears build up just at the thought. "About what?" Her big soft eyes look between me and the road. "He could be the father of Ellie's baby" I whisper, saying it out loud brings a whole new kind of hurt.
"What?" She almost stalls the car. "I don't know why it's taken me this long to notice or I had and just pushed it away" A tear spills, unable to blink them away.
"Oh sweetie" She takes one hand off the steering wheel and connects it to mine. "How did all this happen?" The car moves a bit faster.
"When Ellie told me she was pregnant I didn't think Issac at first, but the more she told me the more it dawned on me. She was so convinced it was Nathan's - the other possible father - that I had no choice but to believe. She told me her and Issac used protection and her and Nathan didn't, of course I didn't want it to be true so I just believed Ellie until the point I was convinced it was Nathan's too" I wipe my tear filled cheeks. "Everyone told me to my face that It could be Issac's, but did I listen? No. I knew he was keeping something from me months ago, every time I mentioned Ellie he'd go quiet and distant, cold, but still! It never crossed my mind. So again, I ignored it" Mom's eyes concentrate on the road in front, I look away, out the window to avoid the look of disappointment she may have for me.
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"Him and Ellie finally sorted it out, thanks to me, and nothing came about after. Then this test came up and he was sure she wouldn't have it done, almost telling her she couldn't and people may say he was being a caring friend but It was something more, I know it. The look of guilt that flickers on his face every time I mention Ellie confirms he's lying to me, and Ellie, all I've done for her, for our friendship. Even if he's not the dad he's still lied to me" My tears flow, chocking up my words.
To my surprise I feel mom's hand on my knee. "I don't quite know what to say. Why haven't you told me this?" She looks like she's about to cry herself. "I was to embarrassed, I feel so stupid. Ellie slept with both of them within twenty-four hours" I cry again. "You're not stupid, Darcy you're the bravest person I know, the strongest" Her voice is serious. I see the hospital come into view.
"Bottling this up isn't going to help you. I don't think you're stupid at all, who knows how they're going to react when finding out there boyfriend is the possible father of their close friends baby?" We enter the hospital car park. When we find a suitable space and park mom immediately gives me a massive hug.
"You're strong, you can do this" She looks me in the eye, filling me with strength. I nod, she wipes my tears away. "I'm gonna stay parked here so if anything happens you can just come back out and I'll take you home" She smiles. I blink at her is adoration.
"Thank you" I squeeze her hand that's in mine. "Okay" I breath, "See you in a bit" I nod, again and climb out the car.
The whole building is white and makes me shiver, I hate the hospital. I feel cold whenever I make eye contact with it. I enter through the automatic doors and walk straight ahead. I know this place like the back of my hand now.
I keep my head held high, not letting my thoughts get to me. It's okay, I can do this. I pep talk myself the whole way there. "Ellie, stop. She knows" An irritated voice smooths down the hall. I squeeze in my tracks, It's Issac.
Before he sees me I dive around the corner, I stay quiet and listen in. "You're over thinking it" Ellie sounds suborn. Are they talking about me? I stay out of sight.
"I know Darcy, It was in her eyes" He sounds scared. They are talking about me! I slowly poke my head out, only a tiny bit. I don't want to get noticed. Ellie has her back to me, I see she's wearing cotton grey track suit bottoms and a black vest. Issac is pacing, racking his head through his hair.
They're quite a bit away from me but their voices boom off the empty walls. "Just go talk her, reassure her?" I snatch my head away when Issac stops pacing, my heart is pounded in my chest.
"What am I supposed to say? Babe it's okay, I'm not the father of your best friends unborn baby like you think I am" I feel the blood drain from my face. "She doesn't need to know you're the possible father until I have a DNA test!" She sounds desperate, almost begging him.
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I feel like someone has punched the air out of my body. It's true? It's been true this whole time. I know It's been running around in my head but actually knowing it's true crushes me. "Ellie that's months away! I can't keep lying to her" They argue. Tears run down my cheek for the second time today but this time, they're hurt and painful.
I can't even look at them, I need to leave. I'm holding in my sobs, silently crying. I start to move my feet but suddenly, I'm lost In this hospital. "Someone coming" Ellie hushes. I notice I'm no longer trying to be quiet as I try to navigate myself out.
Tears hog my vison, there's so many and I can't stop them. My body feels weak and drained. I feel like someone's shot me in the heart. "Maybe it's the doctor" Issac sounds recovered, his voice not so angry.
I hear foot steps and my brain kicks in, I start moving away. I don't want to see him, how could he do this to me? He said he loved me. He looked me in the eye and lied to me when I begged and begged him. When I stupidly forgave him he still lied to me.
The foot steps get quicker which means mine do to. I head for the nearest door I can see but I'm filled with dread when it doesn't open. It's locked. I feel like I'm in a horror movie, there's no way out I'm in a dead end and I know he's fast approaching.
"Darcy?" His voice is so small, so quiet. "Darcy?" I can almost see his face in my head, matching with the fear in his voice. My hands are pressed against the door, I can't turn round, I can't look at him.
"Please tell me you haven't been there long" His voice begs. He already knows the answer.
My body won't move, I'm rooted to the spot. I rest my forehead against the double doors and let out a sob, a raw emotional sob. "Darcy" I know he's crying to now, his voice is wobbly.
I feel hands make contact with my skin, I flinch away, forcing me to look at him. He's pale, cheeks damp and eyes pleading. "Don't touch me" My voice is a growl. The hurt in my body fuelling the anger.
"Darcy please-" He reaches out for me. "No! Get away from me" I move quickly. I've never felt this much anger for Issac before, I didn't think I could. I love him so much and even now, standing opposite him my heart wants to abandon ship and run into his arms. But i'm not. My anger overrides that feeling.
"I thought we told each other everything, huh? No secrets, no lies" My eyes burn into his. "You don't understand-" He tries but I don't let him finish.
"No Issac! How could you lie to me?" Warm angry tears pour out. "I thought you loved me" I whisper the last bit. It's painful to get past my lips.
"I do, Darcy- I love you so much" He tries reaching for me again, his arms extended, ready to wrap me up. "Stop" I move away, again. Fighting the urge to cave in. I can't do that to myself, I don't deserve this and I won't stand for it.
"Were you honestly going to let me stand next to Ellie thinking that Nathan was the dad? Making myself look silly? Even when people practically screamed in my face, telling me you could be the father? Every time I denied it, every time I thought they were the silly ones because, surely you couldn't be the father, you used protection apparently and if it was true, you would of told me, right?" My voice rises, I want to scream in his face.
"He wanted to tell you" I hear a faint mumble, I snap my head around to see Ellie. She looks so small and helpless. "You think that makes it better?" I shriek. "You're just as bad! I was the only one there for you and boy, I must of looked so stupid" The need to break something really comes into force but I hold it back.
"I didn't want to loose you" Issac now mumbles. Loose me?! "You have lost me, Issac" The words shoot out before I think. "W-What?" His whole face turns grey. "You think lying to me instead of telling me the truth would prevent that happening?" I snap, "I trusted you! I love you- God I love you so much Issac, but I refuse to do this to myself. Looking at all Ellie's scans, pictures of your possible child, going with her to visit Nathan when even he knows he might not be the father! He told me so many times, but did I listen? No. So I'm not going to stand here anymore and take it because I'm a push over who likes to keep everyone happy" Tears make my voice sound weak. "I'm sorry" Ellie whispers.
"Sorry?!" I want to scream until I loose my voice forever. "It's far too late for sorry. I want nothing else to do with you" The stare behind my voice is strong, not letting my guard come down. "Or you" I look back at Issac, he looks so helpless. My fury has no sympathy. I don't spare them a moment to answer me before I'm out the door.
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Wooooow! sorry for the late upload, my dog is poorly );
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