《TNS Piper's Problems》Chapter 3: Panic attacks
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Piper's POV:
Miss Angela was in a bad mood and Lily was being so extra today but I ignored it because I was determined to have a good day.
Angela kept picking on all of us but me the most. She made insulting comments towards me which made me feel worthless and useless and I can only hold so much pressure before exploding.
"Hey Pipes, don't listen to miss Angela. You don't have to do acro to be a great dancer." Amy said at our rehearsal break. Miss Angela made everyone do planks AGAIN, and made me practice my aerial again in front of everyone.
I was getting better and everyone kept telling me that I was, and I could almost land steadily on my feet but I would stumble and when I did, Angela would shout and scream insults at me which made my eyes sting with unshed tears.
"Thanks Ames." I said quietly, determined to not let the tears fall. 'Miss Angela just wants us to win, she's trying to help me', is what I told myself to keep myself going strong, but I don't know how much more of this I can take.
"Hey Piper." "Hey Pipes." Summer and Finn said, as the rest of A troupe came over to me and Amy. They all comforted me and told me to ignore Miss Angela, which made me happy that at least I had a family here at TNS, so I nodded and thanked them for helping me out.
"Break's over!" Lily called out sassily, as we all rolled our eyes and made our way back to studio A. "Piper!" Miss Angela yelled out. "Practice your aerials, now!" She yelled at me, as I nodded and pulled out a mat.
Ever since I tried to stand up to her, she got a lot scarier and angrier towards me. I did my aerial and landed before wobbling and I smiled to myself. I slowly but surely getting the hang of it. My smile was erased from my face as I turned to Miss Angela.
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"You wobbled!" She yelled, and I had to do it again, as A troupe did more planks. Under her watchful eye, I kept stumbling until she snapped. "How can you not do a simple aerial, Piper!" She bellowed, as I took a step back, A troupe watching on with wide eyes.
"You are so pathetic and useless. It's not that difficult, it's so easy, literally everyone can do one but you can't! You are so disgustingly weak! You are dragging them all down and I cannot take it anymore! You're gonna be the reason why we lose at regionals! You disgrace of a dancer! When you learn to properly do an aerial, you can come back. Get out of my sight!" She screamed at me, as unwelcome tears slid rapidly down my pale face.
Everyone began to get up even though Miss Angela didn't say that they could yet. They began to come closer to me, ignoring Miss Angela's screams of protest but I backed away from them. I was full on sobbing and I just turned around and ran.
The locker room would've been too obvious and I didn't know if studio 1 was empty but I didn't care as I settled for the bathroom. I slid down the wall of the bathroom and tried to control my breathing.
"In and out Piper, it's so easy, you can do it!" I thought to myself. 'It's so easy. It's so easy to do an aerial, so why can't I do one?!' I thought. I yanked at my hair really hard and sobbed even harder.
Why was I so pathetic? Why couldn't I do a simple aerial? She's right I'm going to drag the whole team down. So not only will my family hate me, so will A troupe. I'm just hurting everyone around me including myself. "Make it stop, make it stop!" I said as I cried uncontrollably.
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I pulled at my hair harder, just wanting to do anything to get rid of the pain in my heart. I couldn't breathe and my eyesight was so blurry and I just couldn't think straight.
Oh no. Not another panic attack.
Thinking about it made me panic even more, making my breaths erratic. I think I hear the bathroom door open but I don't care, it at least I didn't in that moment. I just bawled loudly into my knees, pulling and yanking on my hair.
"Piper, breathe." I heard a voice say to me. I recognised it as Finn but I just ignored him, as he rubbed my shoulders comfortingly.
"Piper, please stop, you're hurting yourself." I heard Amy say as her hands pried mine away from my hair.
"Please. Piper, please, take a deep breath in." I heard Richelle say, but I shook my head. "I...I...I can't!" I shouted out in panic.
"Yes you can. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out." Finn said with his hand on my shoulder, as someone rubbed my back. I could tell it was Summer because of her flower scented body spray.
I followed Finn and soon enough my breathing slowed down and so did my heartbeat, and all that could be heard was my sniffling. I could feel the warmth of A troupe as they cuddled around me, protectively.
"Thanks, guys." I mumbled, after a while as I looked up, my raw red eyes and red, tear stained cheeks meeting the eyes of my teammates.
"Oh Piper." Kenzie said, as she gave me a hug, her sweet smelling hair oils wafting in the air. A second after, all of A troupe were giving me a hug and I was so grateful to all of them.
I just don't know how much longer I can keep this up for. One day I'm shatter and I just know that, that day is close by...
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